I thought you were gonna finish the cliffhanger...
I thought you were gonna finish the cliffhanger...
Yeah yeah, don't get your bones in a knot. Except you can't do that, so...
IT suicides blowing up the drillbots with t3h uber splashies.
Xaax learned Venom!
Xaax: And it had to happen at the end of the battle, too. Damn North Koreans...
Meanwhile, Meat Wagon speeds over Theoden for stealing Toss's joke as well as his comp and DFM.
DFM: They came from behind! ~boom~
A TIE fighter flies out from behind DFM.
Ghoul: Waitaminute. He didn't say "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!".
Toss: ...eheh...I might need to edit his description...
-=BOOM=-
Suddenly, noobs fly out of <Insert rip in time and space here> in Astral City.
Hydra: Lazy bastard.
Xaax: ATTACK, MY MINIONS!
~rumbleness~
Hydra: Aw dammit...
Suddenly, Lurker bursts from the ground from where the noobs were, killing them.
Lurker: Happy birthday!
Noob Necromancer: I'm still alive! ~summons undead noobs~
Worse, the Meat Wagon speeds over some while dropping more corpses to animate.
Xaax: This is too easy. ~attacks with Venom~
The splash damage kills them all after a few attacks.
Hydra: So what do we do about him? ~points to the Noob Necromancer~
Xaax: I have just the thing...kekekekekekekekekekekekeke...
Soon, emerging from the Epic Forge is the Infested Necromancer.
Ranma: Holy crap! They got in!
Tatewaki Kuno: I shall smite them!
~insert the smiting of Ranma 1/2 characters here~
Xaax: Once again, too easy.
Doc: Hey Xaax, wanna try my new anti-Zerg ward?
Xaax: ~gasp~ RACIST! GOGO INFESTED NECROMANCER!
<Insert Epic Fight here>
Last edited by Protoss119; 10-09-2006 at 01:55 PM.
WHAT NINE THOUSANDOriginally Posted by Wikipedia
The epic fight ends in 10 seconds. Why?
WNxHalfwingseen has joined as a player.
And before you know it Necromencer(no typo) Wars starts. Somewhere in the fray mini_kirby98 teleports in only to get buried under a pile of dead skeletons.
In the meantime,Confed plays Go-Fish with a noob.
Noob: Got any 3s?
Confed: (BLAM)Go fish.
Rifle: That's the 37th noob you played Go Fish with.
Confed: Your point?
Rifle: They didn't even get to draw a card.
Confed: Your point?
Rifle: Good point.
Point: What about me?
Psion: Back in your cell worthless Nidoran!
Hey wait. How are my Pokemon here?
Acorn: (whistles innocently)
Note to self: Make containers Nuzleaf-proof. Anyways,my Pokemon are now running amok. Noob deaths are rising incredibly fast.
Camera pans to Berserker the Scizor and Wraith the Banette casually pwning noobs.
Berserker: So Wraith,how's-(Slash attack!)Swampert?
Wraith: You should know,you got-(Shadow Ball!)traded too.
Berserker: Alive and well? Aw man. When will-(Silver Wind!)he just croak?
Wraith: You mean when will JYAP send-(Faint Attack!)a Grass-type with Solarbeam.
Berserker: Whatever.
The two are surrounded by noobs that respawned.
Berserker: Well,this can't be good.
Wraith: Nope.
...
Wraith: Berserker,hold on to me?
Berserker: Why?
Wraith: Just do it.
Berserker grabs Wraith. Wraith floats a little higher.
Noobs: You think that will save you?
Wraith: I think the Swords-Dancing Marowak will.
One Thick Club+Three SD'd STAB Earthquake later...
Knight: Stop getting yourself in trouble,even though this is fun.
Serind: Hey,you're not allowed this much attention!
Berserker: Let's see you make us!
Serind: Get em boys!
Sugnus and Rali drop down from God-knows-where and engage the trio.
Back in EW,Zealot has killed every noob there known to man,and some only to the arena animals.
Zealot: FOR AIUR!
A Muslim pops up.
Respawning Muslim Radical of DOOM: FOR ALLAH!
WAR
Meanwhile,in Astral City(a new round started so everyone's out of there),Tassadar walks out into the middle.
Aldaris: Mr. Tassadar...Did you get my package?
Tassadar: Wait a frickin second. I smell a Matrix thing.
Aldaris: (continues on with the script until the Aldaris clones come out)
Tassadar Psi Assaults an Aldaris clone.
Aldaris 4: LYK OMG
Aldaris 6: DID HE SH00T
Protoss119: Does it matter? We all know who's gonna be dead AGAIN for stealing my jokes.
JYAP: EEEEEP!
Use of Sieged Siege Tanks of Much Sieging is still allowed though.
Toss: I'd spike you over myself, but I have a friend that has a better idea.
The Meat Wagon chases JYAP around, threatening to run him over and drop corpses all over him.
Toss: This is fun to watch.
JYAP: GODDAMN IT, TOSS! IMA KILL YOU!
Meanwhile, in Astral City...
<Insert Matrix fight between Tassadar and clone Aldarises here>
This fight goes on for a while until Xaax decides to shoot everyone with his 255-upgrade Venom attack killing everyone with splash damage.
Tassadar: Aww! You ruined my fun! ~dies~
Aldaris 47: And mine!
Aldaris 55: And mine!
Aldaris 46: Mine!
Aldaris 79: Mine!
Aldaris 91: Mine!
Aldaris 65: Mine!
Original Aldaris: ...Mine too!
They all die.
Kerrigan: Muahahahahahahahaha! Now I can rule the universe without Tassadar stopping me-
Xaax: Ah shaddup. ~Kerrigan gets Venom'd~
Hydra: Gawd, she's annoying.
Xaax: Moreso than-
DFM: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
Hydra: You had to mention it, didn't you?
Xaax: Yes, in order to invoke your suffering for disobeying me so many countless times!
Hydra: Yeah, well, your tool is-
-=BOOM=-
Xaax: What happen! ~mutters: I hate you...~
Yeah. After the Zero Wing mockery...
Dryad (FINALLY she gets used): Y(OEODASJKET)(WI$T)O!
Xaax: Foolish! Do not spam near a cerebrate-like defiler! ~consume'd~
Tauren: No consuming.
Xaax: This isn't the pub.
Tauren: Good point. So what do I do?
Xaax: Kill random noobs. Also see if you can kill the Meat Wagon.
Confed: But that's my job...
Xaax: Silence, terran!
Tauren pulls a big(ger) stick out of the ground. Several noobs get PULVERIZE'D and the Meat Wagon gets slam'd into all of JYAP's EB characters and pokemon. Insert corpses here.
Meanwhile, Zealot's having the time of his life getting kills off of the Muslim Zealot since he respawns a lot and UT Sniper Rifle > All.
God of UT GOYTE: OK, you're having too much fun. ~removes Zealot's Sniper Rifles~
Zealots: Adun's blade!
Muslim Zealot: FOR ALLAH! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!11111one
Muslim Zealot charges...into Doc's IT cannon.
IT: I am wretched, but I am STRONG!
Muslim Zealot: RETREAT!!!!
-=BOOM=-
Xaax: What happen! ...no, seriously, what happened?
Anyway...
Doc: GYAH! 30 minutes of hard work and you RUINED IT ALL!
Hydra: Me? What'd I do? At any rate, just use SCOURGE, dammit!
Doc: THEY'RE scourge! ~points to Abom & Meat Wagon~
Oh, right. Speaking of Meat Wagon, all three get ran over and corpse'd.
Hydra: Then what are these?! ~points to a Scourge~
Scourge: 1 r t3h 1337 r0xx0rs
Doc: Flying Zerg Terrorists. ~needle spine'd~
Last edited by Protoss119; 10-10-2006 at 01:17 PM.
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
My characters and Pokemon see the Meat Wagon hurtling at them.
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHh-Wait. Why can't we stop it?
THUNK CLANG PSYCHIC'D SLAM THWOCK POW
The Meat Wagon falls on Toss instead. Owned.
In the meantime,a random Firebat is walking around,asking noobs if they like barbeques. Imagine what happens next.
If you can't,then look behind the damn bat!
Noob 94: LYK OMG IM ON FIRE
Noob 58: ZOMG U 2?!?
Hurricane: BUTIMNOTANOOBLIKETHEMWHYAMIONFIRE
Then the arena switches. The new arena is The Matrix.
Everyone: Cool.
A noob tries to shoot Zealot. Zealot responds with t3h M4trix d0dge.
SLICE
Then all of a sudden Agent Smith appears. Due to the pub's respawn effect being in play still,getting overwritten will force a respawn. Which is good too,cause he's DOMINATING.
Until Halfwing rides into battle atop a giant purple tiger leading random DOTA characters into battle. Then another epic battle starts.
Blade: An epic battle! I must join!
Grunt: FOR THE HORDE!
Blade and Grunt jump in the fray,but Blade's cloak is on backwards and promptly blinds him while Grunt realizes he was disarmed earlier. rofl
mini_kirby98 pops up again.
mini: Hiiiiiiiii!
mini is promptly squished by a charging abomination and the fight continues.
Then Communist drillbots emerge in the middle.
Communist: Smith,I am your overused plot device.
Smith: Who is messing with the insanity?
Everyone Else: (points up to a booth with controls)
Smith: Let's get him.
Smith 2: Agreed.
Smith 3: Invariably.
JYAP: Aw joy.
Blue Arb'd.
The Meat Wagon speeds over several Smiths dropping corpses wherever it goes for the Infested Necromancer to raise. As well, the Infested SSD is gunning down stuff randomly.
Tauren: I used Staredit today, Xaax. I figured out that you're a HERO.
Xaax: What?!
Hydra: Plus, you're OVERPOWERED.
Xaax: WHAT?!?!
Tauren: Therefore, you must die.
Xaax: NEVER! I shall not surrender! Lord Daggoth with reward me well for your heads!
<Insert Final Fantasy boss music here>
Xaax and his tools get in a fight between Tauren, Hydra, and Zealot for whatever reason.
Infested Necromancer used Distraction!
The Reptilon Blademaster (or Blade if you don't remember) gets thrown into the fray with a cloak.
Tauren: No cloaks. ~his turn gets skipped as he goes to PULVERIZE Blade~
Zealot used Zealot Mob!
Zealot Mob: For Aiur! For Aiur!
Infested Necromancer suffered 45 damage! HP: 85/130
Infested SSD used gun-down!
Zealot, Tauren, and Hydra suffered 200 damage!
Hydra HP: 95/295
Tauren HP: 440/640
Zealot HP: 145/345
Hydra used Needle Spines!
Xaax suffered 35 damage! HP: 245/280
Xaax used Venom +255 upgrades!
T3h uber splashies killed all the enemies!
Hydra died!
Tauren died!
Zealot died!
Xaax: Fools! You cannot dare defy the will of-
~they get rez'd~
Tauren: I was only kidding. You're a normal unit.
Xaax: So...I attacked you for no reason?
Tauren: Yes.
Hydra: You're still overpowered though.
<Final Fantasy boss music>
T3h uber splashies killed Hydra!
Hydra: But he didn't even- ~kill'd, rez'd~ -attack! That's what I'm all about! Xaax is f***ing overpowered!
Dryad: GYAH! THE DARK LANGUAGE! ~gets ignore'd~
Meanwhile, Confed gets surrounded by Smiths. He prays to the Corsair and it comes along.
Confed: Oh, great Corsair, save me!
Corsair: I can't attack ground units.
Confed: ...F*** you, great Corsair! ~smith'd~
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
You would THINK Confed would be smith'd wouldn't you? Well,you were right,except for the part where the Burly Brawl starts AGAIN cause Confed is really our version of Neo.
Tassadar: What about me?
Tauren: No heroes allowed.
PULVERIZE'D
In a corner of the arena,Sleet and Loristan are playing Yu-Gi-Oh.
Loristan: I summon the Dark Magician!
Sleet: Dude,he's crap.
Loristan: No he's not!
Sleet then summons Summoned Skull and equips it with Axe of Despair.
Loristan: Aw shit.
Obviously Loristan lost. Suddenly,the epic forge door swings open.
Harner: ZOMG! FINALLY!
Harner charges in. The doorway responds by electrocuting him unsubconsious.
Rain: Sucks to be him. EPIC SCYTHE GO!
Rain is hit by a Bigby from the evil doorway and falls on Harner.
Serind tries next and is shot in the leg three times.
Ling fakes going in and scrambles away. Ghoul,still chasing,goes in...or tries to before a superbright light shines in his face and sends him sailing.
Xaax believes this is one of Daggoth's hideouts despite the lack of creep and tries to go in. He then runs out while a torrasque chases him.
Xaax: WHY CAN'T I CONTROL HIM?!?
Cloaked Templar: Kekeke...
Finally one of Wing's Magikarp Splashes around and goes in. Nothing happens.
Raider: Wait. This is a freakin POKEMON dungeon?
Psion: Apparently. I wanna see what's inside. Rotat,Cynder,let's roll.
Rotat: Affirmative.
Cynder: Do I get to set stuff on fire?
Psion: If it fights back.
Cynder: YAY! FIRE FIRE FIRE!
The three go in.
...
Acorn: Wait. How come he only took three Pokemon in? I wanna go too!
Acorn tries to run in and is hit by a Heat Wave.
Berserker: Dude,only three Pokemon from one faction at a time.
Abra: So if you're not allied with Psion you're good?
Berserker: Yeah,pretty much.
Three Abra teleport inside,armed with elemental punches and Psychic.
Wraith: Berserker,you just allowed Toss's Pokemon in. You KNOW they can screw up the search.
Berserker: What's the worst that could happen?
---
Protoss119: Ok. Now,once you see Psion's group,wail on them horribly. I don't want a single one to leave intact.
JYAP: Toss,what the hell are you doing with my radio?
---
Wraith: Sigh...
...
Blade: You notice JYAP's obsession with The Matrix and Pokemon is on par with Toss's obsession with Phoenix Wright and Star Wars?
Shaman: Scarily,yes. We could solve this by-
Shaman's answer was drowned out by Kodo and Ultralisk racing by trying to get to the next target first.
Somewhere else,Muta is waiting for two noobs to acknowledge what he is.
Noob 1: I think it starts with an A...
Noob 2: No,it starts with a W.
Muta: JYAP,get your own material...
The Meat Wagon chases JYAP around - again.
Toss: Yay! Free radio! ~talks into it~ Attention, all units: Sasquach. That is all.
Abra: WTF?
~meanwhile...~
Xaax: ~stands atop the corpse of the Torrasque who got killed by t3h uber splashies~ Dammit. I forgot that Lord Daggoth will tell me when he has a hideout going on.
Hunter: Psst-
Xaax: AAAH!
Xaax consumes Hunter on instinct, then barfs him back up again.
Xaax: Sorry. Your hideous form forced me to act on instinct.
Hunter: Very funny.
Doc: Hey Hydra, wanna buy a prototype Invisible Jim?
Hydra: Invisible Jim?
<commercial>
INVISIBLE JIM
Invisible Jim, the phenomenon that's sweeping the nation! ...or just the pub...
SAVE THE WORLD
With Jim's uber invisible powers! Invisible friends like these usually cost around $1.99, but we'll reduce that to $1.98!
BUT WAIT!
You can also buy another Invisible Jim for just $1.912! Yes, just $1.912 (One ninety-twelve)! Buy your Invisible Jim today!
</commercial>
Xaax: You're not much different from Hunter here.
Hydra: I'm not?
Xaax: Nope.
Hydra: Nope?
Xaax: Yep.
Hydra: Yep?
Xaax: Nope.
Hydra: Nope?
Xaax: Yep.
Hydra: Yep?
Xaax: Shut up.
Hydra: AW DAMMIT! Quick, Xaax! Hide me!
Xaax: Silence! It is I that will-
Hydra: SHUT UP AND HIDE ME!
Xaax: Yeah yeah, don't get your spit in a knot.
Hydra: I can't do that.
Xaax: STOP BENDING REALITY!
While Tauren comes crashing down to beat the snot out of Hunter and Hydra, Xaax spams Dark Swarm.
Tauren: Where'd he go?!
Hydra: Confusing Tauren? Uber gun? Man, you are overpo- ~venom'd~
Xaax comes out of the Dark Swarms.
Xaax: He's all yours. I have already chastised priority #2- ~goes poof~
Xaax appears before the council of deciding-for-overpoweredness.
Councilman: We, the members of the council of deciding-for-overpoweredness find you, Xaax, overpowered.
Xaax: Yeah, well...~Councilman gets venom'd~
Councilman 2: He's assaulting Councilman! Quick! Dispel his 255 upgrades!
Too late. Xaax has spammed Dark Swarm and the council gets venom'd.
Xaax: Now to find my way out of this goddamn place...
~rumble~
Priest: He didn't mean that part!
~rumbling continues~
Priest: Blah. Lag.
~..............................................rum bling stops~
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
Inside the dungeon,Psion encounters a Butterfree.
Cynder: Oh crap! A Butterfree!
Psion: Repeat that sentence to yourself.
Cynder: Oh crap! A Butterfree!
Psion: Keep saying it until you realize the amount of trouble we're in.
2 hours later...
Cynder: Oh crap! A Butterfree!
Rotat: Shut up! (whacks him)
Psion shoots the Butterfree with a Psybeam. It promptly crumples,dead.
Psion: Whoops. Had Psybeam set to "Pwn". Gotta set it back to "Stun."
Abra: Ah hah! We caught up with you! Prepare to die!
Psion: Yeah yeah. Put on these cool red Abra uniforms,ok?
Abra: Alright...what for?
Psion: Oh nothing. Taxi!
A taxi suddenly speeds by in the dungeon. Don't ask.
Psion: Cynder,Smokescreen.
Cynder: You don't tell me what to do!
Rotat: Cynder,Smokescreen.
Cynder: Roger that!
Psion: Bugger.
Cynder shoots a Smokescreen in front of the taxi driver. The taxi goes out of control and hits the three Abras,knocking them out instantly.
Psion: That's why you never wear red shirts.
Above ground,Smith is still wreaking havoc. Then Al appears.
Harner: Aw shit no! RUN AL RUN! BEFORE IT'S TOO-GAK!(Smith'd)
Everyone realizes what will happen if Smith absorbs Al and starts protecting him. Except Wing,who's too busy showing off his DOTA skills to help.
Wing: Shut up.
The cannon fodder characters that were never publicly revealed are the first to fall,having no resistances whatsoever. Next up is John Kerry,the Elf Barbarian with a Light Hammer. And just a Light Hammer. The only reason he lived that long is due to the fact he was properly leveled. More chaos and characters dropping until all that remains is Berserker,Rain,Heat,Shred,DtD,Ling,and of course Al.
And out of nowhere a Porygon2 appears. No,I don't own a Porygon2...yet...
Porygon2: INITIATING ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM.
Smith 95275: Well crap.
Except Smith 95275 doesn't say that and I need to steal another joke.
Smith 95275:
Because I said so.
And Slippy randomly explodes as the antivirus program starts up. Somehow the Smiths still remain on the field but they can't duplicate. They respond by pounding Porygon2 as the KOed allies respawn and cross their long-as-heck fortress. One Blizzard later,and half the army is frozen,and the other half is getting pwned.
Right. Then a ninja pops out of nowhere and kills a ton of people on both sides.
Rain: I can solve this.
Rain creates 9 more enemy ninjas.
Heat: WTF are you doing?! You just made more enemies!
Rain: So? Look.
The ninjas become pathetically incompetant and are easily wiped out.
Rain: Ninja effect: If there's more than 3 ninja present,the skill level of a ninja is equal to one of a stormtrooper.
Stormy the Trooper: I resent that!
Hail: Back in your cage!
Stormy: MAKE ME!
THUNK
Stormy: Did you HAVE to shoot me?
Hail: Why yes,I did. Now,BACK!
Stormy: Grumble...
In the dungeon,Psion is on Floor B66.
Cynder: Are we there yet?
Psion: No.
1 turn passes by.
Cynder: Are we there yet?
Psion: Nope.
Next turn.
Cynder: Are we there yet?
Psion: Yes.
Cynder: Really?
Psion: NO!
Next turn.
Cynder: Are-
Psion: SHUT UP!
Then the Nintendo secret police show up and arrest JYAP for pilfering Toss's jokes.
JYAP: What does Nintendo have to do with all of this?
Nintendo Policeman: Nothing, really. We just police in shiny mario outfits.
Meanwhile, a door appears with the word Exit on it in big, friendly letters appears before Xaax. He enters it and starts spinning around before disappearing.
<Insert Gauntlet II NES theme here>
Level 1337
Welcome, blue defiler!
Xaax appears before DtD.
DtD: Waitaminute. What if we combine Starcraft with NWN?
Toss: Excellent idea! ~shoots DtD~ And it's all mine!
(How Toss gets his ideas)
Rain: Toss, you idiot! You shot the guy spamming Storm of Vengeance! How are we supposed to win without splash damage?!
Toss: Don't worry. I shot him with a forgetness gun.
DtD: How do I cast SoV again?
Toss: ...~explains~
DtD: That clarifies things.
Xaax: Go forth, splash damage! Wipe out those who dare oppose the might of the Eternal Swarm!
In other words, Xaax is dominating. UT voice FTW.
Meanwhile, wherever Psion is right now, 60000 Abra Paratroopers in BLUE armor since blue is Toss's trademark color attack followed by Abra Commander who has a dangerous similarity to Cobra Commander.
Abra Commander: Muahahahaha! You fools! You will not escape my wrath! And this time, I have an ESCAPE PLAN!
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
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