What? You're getting so good I'm looking bad. I need to outperform you now.
What? You're getting so good I'm looking bad. I need to outperform you now.
Oh. I thought I sucked for a moment. Hell, I consider you superior when it comes to this stuff. The student has outperformed the master, maybe?
...OH CRAP!
~rushed by Yoshis, Kirbies, Zerg, & Undead Zerg~
Last edited by Protoss119; 08-16-2006 at 06:48 AM.
WHAT NINE THOUSANDOriginally Posted by Wikipedia
You put all kinds of thought into what you type. I just go with random insanity and stuff. But anyways.
Shaman: Red alert!
Star Trek sirens go off and the pub's shields activate.
Raider: What,is this the Enterprise?
The pub lifts off.
Raider: And I suppose there's hostile heroes trying to destroy the pub too.
All sorts of enemy ships close in on the pub.
Footman: Raider,shut up.
Raider: Make me you tin can.
WAR!
Footman charges at Raider. Raider dismounts.
Footman: The heck?
Raider: SIC HIM FIDO!
Raider's wolf jumps on Footman and attacks with the ferocity of 10 men.
VICTORY!
Shaman: All hands to battle stations. All hands to battle stations.
The pub's patrons all climb to the roof,where various turrets for the melee people are available.
Zealot: (is using a nifty double-barreled Photon Cannon) EN TARO ADUN!
Grunt: (in a watch tower with arrow-launching minigun) LOK'TAR OGAR!
Footman: (has pried off the wolf and jumped into a modified cannon tower that uses a flak cannon instead) For Lordaeron!...we need a new battle cry.
Shaman: All fliers take off now!
Wind Rider: This battle is perfect to test out my new invention!
Shaman: You're riding your wyvern.
Wind Rider: Exactly! I tamed a wyvern to help me fly!
Shaman: You've always rode a wyvern.
Wind Rider: Then why is this new? Huh?
Shaman: Whatever.
Hydra: Muta,I don't give a flip about your damn poker game! Get the hell over here!
Mutalisk: This is why everyone hates you Hydra. (flies over to assist)
Raider: We're vastly outnumbered in air units. Shaman,could you call some people in?
Shaman: Done.
Corsair: It is a good day to die.(shot down,crashes and burns)
Take 2.
Corsair: It is a good day-(slams into Wind Rider,crashes and burns)
Take 3.
Corsair: It is a good day to die.(Grunt shoots the fuel tank with an arrow by accident FOR THE HORDE,and the corsair crashes and burns)
Take 4:
Corsair: Screw it. GO GO GO!
Corsair leads his fellow Corsairs into the fray.
LET BATTLE BE JOINED!
And there's problems already. Grunt's minigun jams up about 30 shots in. He's getting Shaman to fix it. Meanwhile,a Wraith is on Wind Rider's tail.
Paladin inside Wraith: I have you now. </Vader>
Batrider: WHEEEEEE!(intercepts,explodes into the Paladin's Wraith)
Paladin: The hell?(explodes)
Batrider: (respawns)WHEEEEEEEEEE!(crashes into someone else,respawns)WHEEEEEEEE!(you get the idea)
Generic Corsair: Fox! Get this guy off me!(distress signals flash on Mutalisk's HUD)
Mutalisk: (shoots the Corsair,splashing his Glave Wurm off him and into his pursuers)
Generic Corsair: Thanks Fox! I thought I was a goner!
Mutalisk: (shoots the Corsair again,making him fly right into Footman's flak cannon's fire)
Corsair: Dammit Muta! They're noobs,but do you have to frag my force?(Neutron Flares an Archmage)
Mutalisk: Well why not?
Zealot: (firing like a madman) EN TARO ADUN! (pummels down a load of heroes)
System Display: Warning: Overload imminent.
Zealot: EN TARO ADUN!(still shooting)
The cannon explodes on Zealot,knocking him down.
I would type more but I have a writer's block. I'm gonna play WC to get rid of it.
Meh. I suppose it is a comeback considering the horrible setback of the Star Fox competition, of which Booming Voice is wholly to blame. But then of course, had I not met you back at EW, I would have a helluva lot more fics like that.
Xaax: I will not deal with this! Go forth, my minions!
KUKULZA RUSH! In mere moments, a bunch of enemy ships are shot down. Meanwhile, Confed is flying with a jetpack firing his Battle Rifle/Shotgun crossover at a nearby BC.
Confed: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!! ~shot by BC, fried~
Noob: Were loozing shiips! Z00mg!
Noob 2: His noobishness General_Grievous666 demands an update!
Noob: Teel hem te god news. We is loozing shiips an ar ab00t to di.
General_Grievous666: ~hidden in shadow~ YOU FOOL! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WINNING!
Noob: Uhhh...so?
General_Grievous666: STOP LOSING & WIN!
Noob: Oky!
Meanwhile...
Priest: Goddamn...~rumble~...err, damn everyone getting wounded all the time...~heals Confed~
Confed: That's it! ~fires rapid-fire Lockdown missiles at noob fleet, freezing them~
Lurker burrows through the BC that fried Confed & messes up a bunch of stuff, including HP, Damage, Armor, etc.
New stats for BC:
HP: Was 3000, now 30
Armor: Was 20, now 2
Damage: Was 200, now 2
Meanwhile, Blade is in a tower firing swords a la Gauntlet II for NES. One of the swords goes through the cockpit of an enemy wraith & hits a noob.
Noob Pilot: I'm OK! ...owowowowowowowowowowowowowow...~dies of blood loss~
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
Hydra: Stand back everyone!
Raider: The hell?
Hydra: FIRE!
The new prototype Zergling Cannon is shot at an enemy carrier with Ling as the ammo.
Ling: (is sugar high,caffeine high,and stim pack high) KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! (VROOM)
Crypt Fiend: Howdy!
Raider: (shmacks Fiend) "Howdy!" is so old it ain't funny.
Fiend: The place is surrounded by a river right?
Raider: Yes...
Fiend: And the enemies are over the river,right?
Raider: ON WITH IT!
Fiend: (webs a interceptor)
Noob inside: Wheee,I'm falling-(falls in river where rabid Naga Myrmidons rip him apart)
Raider: You're a goddamn genius.
RUMBLE
Raider: Without the adjective!
Sieged Siege Tank of much Sieging: JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (falls from the sky on something important,and it ain't the pub)
Naga Royal Gard: NRG for short the most overpowered unit in the game possibly the best non hero unit ever occasionally appears to help shaman with any issues in the pub usually accompanied by a sea elemental
Royal Guard is insanely overpowered. Crushing Wave,Frost Bolt,Summon Sea Elemental(Water Elemental on steroids and with cool spike pads),1000+ HP AND Chaos damage with a 50+ attack? FRIGGIN HAX
do not forget the 1400 hp
Xaax: Wait. I sense trouble afoot.
Xaax starts to search the tavern, rolls a natural 20, and finds a Half-Orc hugging (aka squeezing) Aribeth in the closet.
Xaax: YOU!
Half-Orc: I Loves you lots!
Aribeth: OW! My back!
Xaax plagues the Half-Orc.
Half-Orc: Uh...I feel sick...~throws up on Aribeth~
Aribeth: -_-
Xaax: Do you know where we are, fools?
Both are stumped.
Xaax: WE'RE IN THE BLIZZARD PUB, NOT THE BIOWARE PUB, WHELP! ~turns to Batrider~ You! Explosive one! Let me borrow that!
Batrider: Borrow what?
Xaax: That explosive potion in your hand.
Batrider: What explosive potion?
Xaax: It's in your hand!
Batrider: No it isn't.
Xaax: LOOK!
Batrider: ~does so~ Hey, what's this?
Xaax: It's an explosive potion!
Batrider: An explosive what?
Xaax: POTION! Hand it over!
Batrider: What does it do?
Xaax: GAH! It makes people go boom!
Batrider: ...Cool! ~throws explosive potion at Noob BC, blowing it up~
Xaax: GRRR! No matter. YOU!
Hydra: Yeah?
Xaax: You, my servant! Kill them!
Hydra: Under normal circumstances, no, but under not-so-normal circumstances, yes. ~easily pwns both NWN guys and they are sent back to NWN from whence they came~
Note: I am sorry if I have offended anyone. Bioware rocks because without them, there would be no NWN...or NWN2.
Meanwhile, out in the battlefield, Ling has just torn through a Wraith, Scout, BC, Carrier, Valkyrie, Another Wraith, The Batman Symbol, & a Carrier.
Ling: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! ~tears through Arbiter but gets stuck in Stasis gun~
Noob: Did you see something?
Noob: Nope. ~Ling is in plain sight~
Last edited by Protoss119; 09-10-2006 at 08:17 AM.
WHAT NINE THOUSAND
Footman: Holy shit,what is THAT?!?(points at Noobalisk)
Noobalisk: PH34R!
Rifleman: I got the beast in meh sights!
HEADSHOT
Confed: Son of a...THAT'S MY JOB!
Rifleman: Mine now!
Confed: See that Guardian?
Rifleman: Yeah?
HEADSHOT
Rifleman: You're not that hot!
HEADSHOT
DOUBLE KILL
Rifleman: So?
HEADSHOT
KILLING SPREE
Rifleman: Err...
HEADSHOT
RAMPAGE
Rifleman: I get the point-
HEADSHOT
MONSTER KILL
Rifleman: Dude,you're soloing-
HEADSHOT
GODLIKE
Rifleman: >_>
HEADSHOT
BEYOND GODLIKE
Rifleman: Fine. My turn.
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
HEADSHOT
Confed: You're shooting the same corpse in the head.
Rifleman: NO I AM NOT!
HEADSHOT
(Confed respawns)
Confed: Bitch.
HEADSHOT
(Rifleman respawns)
Rifleman: YARRRRRR!
And so the battle of HEADSHOTs continued,much to everyone's dismay.
Then Grunt's minigun runs out of ammo.
Grunt: I have ran out of ammo FOR THE HORDE!
Raider: (IDEA!)
About 5 minutes later,a catapult wheels out with Grunt on it. The catapult fires.
Grunt: FOR THE HORDE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grunt slams into the noob captain's flagship and proceeds to enter melee combat in a freakin awesome way. Meanwhile Ling is flying everywhere creating a tornado of destruction. Muta is spitting his Glave Wurm at Confed and Rifle to stop their contest and get to helping,but he gets HEADSHOT'd in the process. He respawns of course.
Then a Shuttle flies in the flagship about 30 seconds after Grunt flew through,and drops off Zealot and Footman. The three start a contest to kill the most noobs as the noobs respawn here,being their only command point. They like to leave behind fancy weapons and in no time flat Grunt is swinging around a plasma halberd,Footman found a prototype Z-Saber and is going all Zero on them,and Zealot found a pair of magnums with infinite ammo and the ability to grant Matrix powers. Yup,tough competition here.
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