Serverama - A fanfic I made. (Note:Got this idea from JYAP.)

[Protoss119]

I got this idea from JYAP's fanfic - all credit for the actual fanfic idea goes to him.

Anywho, this Futurama-based fanfic is not just about EB. It's also about Eternal War, Atomic Chicken (an old favorite of mine), and many other servers I've been to, starring Protoss119 (Me), JYAP, Menice, Barrey, and two guests from Battle.net:Highsephiroth and Deltashadow.

So let's get started.

Serverama

A fanfic (so to speak) by Protoss119 aka Dredoc Anthorngleas

Episode 1:The Phantom Noob

Protoss119, JYAP, Barrey, Menice, Highsephiroth, and Deltashadow are all playing Elemental Battlegrounds. Protoss, using his kukri rogue, sneak attacks JYAP's Bard, who was at battle with Deltashadow's Sorcerer. JYAP is concealed 50%, and so Protoss misses.

Meanwhile, in the shadows of Mootophia...

A viewscreen shows the characters at war and their masters at play.

???:Are they at Elemental Battlegrounds?

Noob: Duh.

???:SHUT UP! Exellent...soon my noob army shall conquer Elemental Battlegrounds and countless other servers...soon they shall know the wrath of...

The lights turn on. Why didn't I say they were off?

???:...GENERALGRIEVOUS666!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!111111111onemillion!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

Noob:Yes, they most certainly would...if you would hurry up and attack.

General Grievous 666:Alright fine...Deploythenoobarmy.

Noob:Yes, your noobishness.

[Protoss119]

Episode II:The Mootophia Grand Army

From outside the Deadly Abode where this is taking place, noobs are being deployed to annihilate our heroes. They soon have gotten to the center and start attacking them with their noobish weapons.

Barrey:It's a newbie assault! By god!

Protoss119:AAAAHH!!!

Highsephiroth:AAAHH!!!

JYAP:AAAAHH!!!

Menice:AAAAHH!!!

Deltashadow:AAAAHH!!!

JYAP:AAAAHH!!!

Protoss119:AAAAHH!!!

Barrey:AAAAHH!!!

Menice:AAAAHH!!!

Highsephiroth:AAAAHH!!!

Protoss119:AAAAHHTHISISGETTINGOLD!!!

JYAP:AAAAHHLETSSTOP!!!

Protoss119:AAAAHHOK!!!

The pros wall themselves in as the newbie assault grows ever greater.

Menice:Isn't there anything that can save us?

Barrey:I don't know!

Meanwhile, deep in space, in an Imperial Star Destroyer...

Imperial Officer:Captain Needa, we have located a rebel base. It is located at..."Elemental Battlegrounds"?

Captain Needa:Inform Lord Vader and move to the surface. We shall conquer this single planet with this single Star Destroyer. The rebels will know fear.

The Star Destroyer jumps to lightspeed. Meanwhile, at the Deadly Abode, the makeshift wall in which our heroes are cowering by-

JYAP:Shut up.

-has almost been completely destroyed. Suddenly, the Star Destroyer jumps out of lightspeed, and about 72 TIE Fighters attack the newbies.

Protoss119:Holy Hell! The Galactic Empire!

Aboard the Star Destroyer...

Captain Needa:They don't look like rebels...but who cares what they look like. Hell, who cares if they're rebels! I just want to kill them! Lord Vader has nothing on this...

Imperial Officer:We're being hailed by Lord Vader, sir. We're sending the message in.

Captain Needa:...hell, that brick can't even kill his own son! Who are we to fear-

Darth Vader:Captain Needa?

Captain Needa turns to face him, looking shocked, and bows.

Captain Needa:Lord Vader?

Darth Vader:I seem to recall you mention a Brick?

Captain Needa:Oh...I was talking about...the, uh...Darth...Vader in, uh...Dagobah! Yeah!

Captain Needa starts choking, as if someone is denying him breath by squeezing his neck. Darth Vader is using Force Grip on him.

Darth Vader:Land all ground units on the surface an intitiate a call for reinforcements.

The viewscreen closes.

[Protoss119]

Episode III:Wrath of the Empire

The newbies start retreating as the Imperial Stormtroopers, AT-STs, and almighty AT-ATs walk all over them. Literally.

Meanwhile, our heroes have retreated to the Forbidden Peaks, where they plot their next move.

Protoss119:OK. From what I know, the Empire must think we are Rebels, and they will destroy all of us when they get the chance.

Menice:At least they plowed through the newbies.

Protoss119:Yeah, that's true...

JYAP:Wait a minute, how'd you learn all this?

Protoss119:Imperial Spyware.

JYAP:Bad Protoss.

Protoss119:Shut up.

Whispering Voicesst! Over here!

A hand motions for them to come over, and they all do so. There, they find Aribeth (the NPC).

Protoss119:Aribeth, what the hell are you doing here?

Aribeth:The Empire chased me here, but they haven't decided to invade here yet.

Protoss119:...which doesn't make sense.

Aribeth:I know. Vader can be strange sometimes.

Deltashadow:Indeed. So - what do you suppose we do now?

Highsephiroth:I have a plan.

Menice:GASP!

Highsephiroth:Shut up, I'm new here.

Menice:NEWBIE!

Highsephiroth:SHUT UP!

JYAP:OK, what's your plan?

Highsephirotheltashadow's a Sorc, right?

Deltashadow:Yeah, and Barrey's a Sorc, and Menice is a Wizzy.

Highsephiroth:The roads leading to the Deadly Abode are all blown up, giving us a vantage point at which to cast at the Star Destroyer and other big things. The Stormtroopers will be likely to stop us, however, so we'll have to use hit and run tactics.

JYAP:That's for squares!

Protoss119:Shut up.

Highsephiroth:Anyone else is welcome to use the Snow Speeders docked here.

Protoss119wnage!

JYAP, Protoss119, Aribeth, and Highsephiroth take the Snowspeeders and they all go to the Deadly Abode.

Snowspeeder 1-Protoss119 Pilot, JYAP Gunner.

Snowspeeder 2-Aribeth Pilot, Highsephiroth Gunner.

[Protoss119]

Episode IV:Forget it, I'm not gonna name this one.

The Snow Speeders are taking off.

Deltashadow:YOU FORGOT TO TELL US HOW TO GET TO THE DEADLY ABODE!!!!

Highsephiroth:THAT'S VERY NICE, NOW GO AWAY!!!

The Snow Speeders fly off.

Deltashadow:Well, yeah. How are we supposed to-

Suddenly, hundreds of arrows, bolts, bullets, throwing axes, darts, shurikens, and other throwing weapons fly at Barrey, Menice, and Deltashadow.

Barrey:Incoming Noobs!

Barrey instantly casts a spell that takes all 3 of them to Deadly Abode. They are very unfortunate to land in the middle, however.

Stormtrooper:Hands up, rebel!

Deltashadow:Really, I don't know anything about Star Wars. What are you?

Stormtrooper:...HE'S CROSSED THE LINE OF FANTASY!!! RUN!!!!!

All the stormtroopers, AT-STs, AT-ATs, and all Empire-Related stuff blow up. The snow speeders land.

JYAP:What'd I miss?

Menice:The imperials suddenly died!

All:YAY!

100 Star Destroyers and a peanut drop out of hyperspace.

All:CRAP!

JYAP:Beware the peanut! It makes up most of the military power!

Aribeth:Just RUN!

Everyone runs until they find a Lambda-Class shuttle, and they get inside and take off.

All:YAY!

Aribeth:I have one question for you, JYAP...

JYAP:Um...yeah?

Aribeth:...why did you rescue a noob?

Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

A big brawl begins.

~thwack pow bang zap blam ka-boom sock!~

The noob is dead.

All:YAY!

Afterwards, they all stop saying "yay!" at the same time.

All:YAY!

Shut up.

Protoss119:So...where to?

Highsephiroth:Elemental Battlegrounds?

Protoss119:OK!

They fly to Elemental Battlegrounds, where 100 Star Destroyers and a peanut await them there.

JYAP:Run away from the peanut!

They fly away from Elemental Battlegrounds.

Protoss119:So...where to?

Highsephiroth:Elemental Battlegr-~is smacked by JYAP~

JYAP:How about Eternal War?

Protoss119:OK!

They fly to Eternal War, where they discover hundreds of Noobs imprisoning Trazzac Bendor and Armaggedon's Psychotic Storyteller.

JYAP:Hi Arma!

Armaggedon:Get us out of here!

Trazzac Bendor:Get me out, too!

Armaggedon:Yeah, that's nice, Trazzac.

JYAP:OK!

They rescue Armaggedon, but just as Kyth is about to board, the door closes. The noobs don't do anything, fearing the Empire's wrath should they destroy the shuttle. Our heroes fly into space. Again.

Menice:How much more can we hold on this thing?

Aribeth:Oh, let's see...about...0 people, if you include the noob that just boarded us.

Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~massacred~

[Protoss119]

Episode V:Titles are for Squares

On Darth Vader's Super Star Destroyer...

Moff Eah (pun intended):Lord Vader, Aribeth and the Rebels have escaped twice from our fleet at Elemental Battlegrounds. I reccomend removing the peanut.

Darth Vader:Leave them to me. I have hired a Bounty Hunter who is not Samus Aran to the disappointment of every game freak who is reading this text right now. His intelligence states that they are headed toward Atomic Chicken. Deploy your fleets there.

Moff Eah:Yes, my lord.

Meanwhile, in the Lambda Shuttle housing our heroes...

JYAP:Where are we going now? Most modules here are CEP, and this ship isn't CEP.

Protoss119:How about Atomic Chicken?

Menice:Atomic Chicken?

Protoss119:Yeah. It's a PVP Module housing a very helpful and friendly DM. Let's go there.

JYAP:OK.

They fly to Atomic Chicken. As they exit the ship, a mysterious face is there to greet them.

???:Welcome, welcome all, to Atomic Chicken!

Protoss119:Hey, Div.

???:Toss! What's up?

JYAP: Div?

Protoss119:Yeah. This is Divinity, the friendly DM I was talking about. Div, this is JYAP, Menice...blah, you already know.

Divinity:Of course I do. What brings you here?

Protoss119:We're being humorlessly chased by the empire.

Divinity:That sucks.

Deltashadow:Indeed.

Divinity:I'll create a bunch of Atomic Chicken soldiers to help fight them off.

In 1 second, the very peaceful arena becomes a huge fortress, with Turrets, Finesse Fighters, Sorcs, Wizzies, Clerics, Bards, a Barbarian or two-

Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I!

-maybe an Adept OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!?~massacred~

Anywho, the empire soon arrives with 100 Star Destroyers and a peanut.

Barrey:Hit the peanut!

Divinity:Why?

Barrey:Because I said so!

Divinity:Why do you keep using exclamation points?

Barrey:Because I want to! Why do you keep asking questions! We need to focus! Hit that peanut!

Divinity:OK. ~sigh~ Fireatthepeanut.

Aribeth:In case things don't go well, I have a plan of escape...

They all huddle together, and Aribeth whispers to them a plan...

JYAP:What?

Aribeth:I said we just hack through the troops and escape.

Deltashadow:Yes, I'm sure we were all thinking the exact same thing. Hack through the troops and escape! Who would have thought? Do you have whispers? I might kill you tonight.

All except Deltashadow:O_O

Divinity:Whatever. It looks like we're doing pretty well...We have boarding craft ready to send a battalion of captured noobs into enemy vessels, we have mages fireballing the Star Destroyers...everything's going pretty well. What possibly could go wrong?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Protoss119:That.

[JYAP]

Two thumbs up.

[Protoss119]

At first, I was expecting some negative feedback, but oh well.

Chapter VI:404 Title Not Found

Suddenly, Darth Vader poofs where our heroes are.

Aribeth:Vader!

Darth Vader:Yes, Aribeth...and look who I brought with me.

Emperor Palpatine stands right next to him.

Palpatine:1 4m 3mp3r0r P41p471n3 1 w111 pwn j00

Protoss119:How did you get here?

Darth Vader: Plot Device.

Menice:CAN I HAVE IT!?

Darth Vader:No.

Menice:CURSE YOU!

Darth Vader:Yup.

Aribeth:Run away!

They run into the shuttle and take off.

Protoss119:I think we lost them...

Darth Vader:Yep, we did...

Protoss119: OK...Oh, look! It's Vader! Hi Vader!

Darth Vader:You will all die.

Emperor Palpatine: Pr3p4r3 2 b pwned

Darth Vader and Palpatine are thrown out of the ship.

Emperor Palpatine:N3x7 t1m3 1 w111 pwn j00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111onethousand!!!!!!!!!!111111

The two of them fall to their doom.

"Our Heroes killed Darth Vader for 1138 point(s)"

"Our Heroes killed Emperor Palpatine for 1337 point(s)."

Vader and Palpatine respawn at Evil Base.

Darth Vader:This is Darth Vader to any Imperial Forces in the area. Evacuate us to the nearest Star Destroyer immediately.

A Super Star Destroyer, the Executor, drops out of lightspeed. Vader and Palpatine board it.

Darth Vader:OK. It's time to charge into Atomic Chicken and kick some arse. Prepare the Executor for a jump into lightspeed.

Palpatine:0r 1 5h411 pwn j00!

Darth Vader:You threaten to pwn everyone, Palpatine.

Palpatine:0h y34h? W47ch 7h15!

Palpatine pwns a person with a pwnage gun.

Darth Vader:That doesn't explain anything.

Palpatine:Wh0 C4r35? L375 g0!

The Super Star Destroyer jumps to lightspeed.

[JYAP]

Ooh,ooh,can I help? Can I help?

Meanwhile,in some other Eternal arena...

Raincell phone rings)Hello? Oh,hi Hail,how are you?(chops off a noob's head)

Hailerfectly fine. How's the noobslaying going?

Rain:Good as usual.(kills another noob)

Hail:I can tell. There's blood all other me.

(camera zooms out,revealing Hail hidden near Rain)

Rain:...whoops...

[Protoss119]

Lol, sure. Go ahead.

[JYAP]

More mini-fics!

Sleet:So...bored...can't...kill...anything...

Hail:26...(thunk)27...(thunk)28...

Heat:ACHOO!

Noob:HOLY HELL MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!

Snow:Smitten!

Noobsmote)

Sleet:Hmm...what can I do?(looks at weird ring Hail dropped)...

Moments later.

Opposing Team:WTF? Chocobos aren't in this game!(die)

Sleet:Onwards,Chocobos!