The OFFICIAL Midknight Nine fanfic,by JYAP

[JYAP]

Me:Hi everyone! Wandera has given me permission to write a fanfic(or story for you computer illiterate)about us! Why don't you see what happens when a very imaginative-(is hit by a dictionary thrown from somewhere)OW! Ok,I'll start!

Narrator:Now,we will chronicle the stupid yet humorous adventures of the oh-so-stupid Mid-Hey wait,what are you doing with that katana?!? Wait! WAIT! AGH! MY SPLEEN!

Harner:Stupid narrator...Anyways,we got to go defeat that evil sorceror,Bodom!

Wandera:Why is he evil?

Harner:You try resisting a 36-39 Finger of Death of his. Anyways,to get to his fortress,we need to cross the Desert of Noobs,past Warrior Nation-

Droim:Why past Warrior Nation? Why not recruit them?

Harner:Uhhh...taco?

Everyone else:-_-;;;

Harner:Anyways,then we gotta go through No-Noob's Land-

Jade:No noo-OW!(gets hit with a Octagon Rod)

Harner:Shut up already! And then we have to-y'know what? Just screw it and follow me.

(In between the starting point and the desert...)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:No.

(5 minutes later)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:No!

(5 more minutes)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:Yes.

Jade:Really?

Harner:NO!

(insert average intermission between these scenes here)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Everyone:NO!!!

Jade:Grrr...

Harner:Hey,we're here!

Wandera:How noobish are these noobs?

Random Noob With Two Katanas And Is A Human Rogue:YAAAAA!

(SLICE POUND WHAM KAMACLERIC'D!)

Harner:You see? Now,let's go!

(30 minutes,27 brutal katana carvings,19 concealment kills,15 fireballs,17 axe beatings via minotaur,and 30 kamacleric'd!s later...)

Everyoneis getting really tired)

Wandera:Can't...take...anymore...

Zet(Yes,it's Borag's wizard and he is part of us):Out...of...fireballs...

Jade:I wish...this desert...was shorter...

Droim:So...hot...want...outta here...

Harner:Well why didn't you say so?(pulls out bag of holding,takes out 5 Mega Shotguns)1 for everyone!

Everyone??

Harner:They're mega shotguns! Guaranteed frag every shot!

Wandera:You mean we could've used this to start with?

Harner:Yup.

(At Bodom's citadel)

Bodom:It's good to be evil.(holds up glass of wine,but just as he's about to drink it...)

Everyone:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

(Bodom's glass shatters)

(Back to our heroes...)

Everyonemade it across with a record 20 shots total)

Harner:Yay! We made it across! Now to-

To be Continued!

Harner:Hey!!! Let me finish-

To be Continued!

Harner:LET ME-

Ninjathrows Mage Masher dagger at Harner,shutting him up)

To be continued!!!

[JYAP]

Narrator:When we last left off,the moronic Harner gave the also-stupid crew a mega shotgun. GO BODOM!

Everyone:

Narrator:AHH! NOT MY HEART! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

(Err,right. Moving on...)

Harner:Ok,now we gotta get past Warrior Nation.

Jade:When do we get there?(throwing axes fly into the crew's mega shotguns,breaking them)

Harner:Now. RUN!!!

(Everyone splits up as 5 different Warrior Nation people chase them.)

(Chase music from Scooby-Doo starts playing)

Wanderais chased into a dead end,but runs back,then runs up the wall and flips off it behind his chaser)

Jadeis running...then wonders,why didn't she morph? Not long after that,a minotaur was seen mopping the floor with someone from WN...literally)

Zetruns by a pole,flips onto it ninjastyle,and flings fireballs at his pursuer,then jumps off and runs the other direction)

Droimran into a conveniently placed House of Mirrors,and has a holiday with his concealment spells torturing the poor WN dude)

Harnerruns until there's a stairway down,places his shield down,and uses it to surf down,then hits a switch to make the stairs a up escalator,then trips the WN guy somehow,putting him in a perpentual fall down a up escalator)

Everyonemeets up at the exit)

Wandera:Whew...

Harner:At least we didn't run into-(CLANG)...Theodin. RUN SOME MORE!

Theodincloses all exits)YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Jadeo we panic now?

Harner:Yes. WAAAAAAH!!!(runs around screaming)

Wandera:Wait. Harner,he's about your level,right?

Harner:Yeah. I just can't beat him somehow.

Wandera:...Plan D,now.

Harner:Errr...Plan D?

Droim+Zetfire off a relentless barrage of Bigby's Forceful Hands,Fingers of Death,and Issac's Greater Missile Storms)

Theodinwas wearing a reflect ring)

Droim+Zet:X_X

Wandera:Oh boy. Plan S?

Harnerlan S?

Jademorphs into minotaur form,then is exposed to some chemicals via Wandera to be even stronger)JADE SMASH!

Harner:Originality factor:0.

(WHACK)

Harner:Owww!

Jadetries to hit Theodin,but even in plate,he's too fast for sluggish blows)

Theodineventually criticals with Ki Damage...5 times...in a row)

Jade:X_X

Wandera:Yup. We're dead.

Harner:How bout Plan Z?

Wanderalan Z?

Harnerreaches into his bag of holding,takes out a device,pushes the button labelled FFT Mode)

Roommorphs into a FFT battlefield)

Wandera:What does this do...and what the heck am I?

Harner:Oh,you're a white mage.

Wandera:I hate light magic!

Harner:You get the strongest spell in the game.

Wandera:Sold.

Harnermoves behind Theodin,slashes twice with his dual Spell Edges,deals 260 damage total)Ninjas rule.

Theodinhas turned into a Knight,and promptly uses Weapon Break on Harner...and hits)

Harner:NOO! MY SPELL EDGES! WAAAAAAAH!

Wanderashrugs,and charges up Holy)

Theodinin slow-mo,runs at Wandera,trying to stop the spell)Nooooooooo!

Wanderahits with Holy,deals 300+ damage)

Theodin:X_X

Harner:We won! Yay! Now-

To be continued!

Almuric,if you find this part offensive to your guild,I'll replace it with some other random guild.

[Wandera]

Wandera: Muhahha *Laughs Evily like Mr Burns* Warrior Nation are no match?.. Swallow those sorrows Harner!

[JYAP]

Must...think...of...good...part 3...

[JYAP]

Narrator:When we-

Sugar-high Lancer:WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(bounces THROUGH narrator several times)

Wandera:C'mon,let's go!

Harner:What do we do with them?(points to KOed party members)

Wanderaevil smile)

(Later,en route to No-Noob's Land...)

Harneris tossing bag with KOed members ahead)Wow,great plan Wandera!

Wandera:I'm full of em!

Droim+Zet+Jadehave woken up right before being tossed)WHOA!!!

Harner:Yup,they're awake. Oh look,there's No-Noob's Land.

Wandera:Why is it No-Noob's Land?

Harner:Cause all the noobs go in,but the pros here slaughter them. Wonder how long till-(is spotted via searchlight)Oh boy.

Mr.Truck:Attack,my minions!

Wandera:What do we do?

Harner:Oh relax,they can't be-(gets surrounded)...Shoot. Uhh...let's be friends? (WHAM SOCK POW KA-TANG INSERTBEATINGHERE) X_X

Wandera:We're dead. Too bad we don't have a really powerful weapon to wipe them out with. (several weapons from The Grid start raining down) Wow. Ask and ye shall recieve. (picks up bullhorn)What's this thing do?(pulls trigger,sends random pro into a wall)

Zet:Ooooooooooh...(touches flash cannon,watches it fire,massacring whoever got in the way of it)...

Droimpicked up a cannon)Hmmm...(fires it,sending a huge cannonball into a guy,which is stuck on the cannonball until he slams into the wall)

Jade:Something about this seems so right.(sweeps up enemy with machine gun)

Wandera:Hey look,cash! (collects it all) Hey,what's this huge round thing with a fuse?(throws it)

DA BOMB!

Every Pro:X_X

Mr.Truck:Well...err...noob ghosts,attack!

Wandera:You gotta be kidding me. (turns them)

Harnerwakes up)Wow,you guys totalled them.

Mr.Truck:I'll...just...sneak away now...(is hit by a random falling anvil and dies)

Harner:Well,we're outta here. Now-

To be continued!

[JYAP]

(trips on a writer's block)
(is struck with memory loss)
(will need a day or two to restore my imagination tanks)

[JYAP]

(the narrator doesn't get to speak before Zet's flash cannon tears through him)

Harner:There's Bodom's fortress! CHARGE!!! (charges)

Wandera:WAIT! THERE MIGHT BE-(insert traps going off here)...traps.

Harner:Ow. (has 1 hp)

Wandera:Jade,illithid form. Disable those traps.

Jade:On it!

(5 minutes later)

Jadeone!

Harner:Now do we charge?

Wandera:There might be guards.

Guardsjump out of nowhere with weapons)RAWR!

Harner:Oh boy. STRIKE THEM DOWN!

(Harner strikes through one guard with a dire mace,then brings his shield around to counter another,then kicks him into a kama. Wandera's pulling off flips and slashes while firing spells to disable the enemy. Jade...well,there's Minotaur Form. Droim and Zet are having a holiday Bigbying enemies then fireballing them,all while yelling MERRY CHRISTMAS!)

(10 minutes later)

Guards:Blargh! We are dead! X_X

Harner:CHARGE!!!(trips Delayed Blast Fireball)DOH!

Bodom:I shall kill you all!(Mage masher dagger falls from nowhere).........

Harner:Yay silence!

Bodom:..........(Oh well,I can still bash you down with my staff!)

Knightpops up,uses Weapon Break on Bodom,hits)

Bodom:...........(Uh oh...)

Wandera:So,what do we do with him?

Harner:I'll need a kukri,a dagger,a light hammer,and a Do-It-Yourself-24-Hour Torture Kit.

(insert screams-oh wait,he's silenced)

Bodomeventually dies from pain)

Everyonelevels up and starts jumping up and down)

Harner:Well,we're done here. Who's up for tacos?

SIK:Hey you,catch!(run and guns Harner)

Harner:Buzz off cheater! Ok,new mission:Get to Almuric and CD-Key ban him.

To be concluded!


Actually,SIK (logon name ACrossBetweenSeanConneryAndCookieBaker) is exploiting glitches.

Glitch 1:Run and gun,then laughing. Arrogant noob...

Glitch 2:Letting himself die to Mr.Truck (logon name XXXSPLEEP),then leaving and rejoining.

Glitch 3:Letting Mr.Truck do that to him.

Almuric,if you're reading this,ban this guy PLEASE.

[JYAP]

No narrator for you!

Harner:Ok,right ahead-(thunk)Stop that! Right ahe-(thunk)STOP! Right-(thunk SLASH POW WHAM)GOOD LORD STOP! NOW,right ahead should be Almuric's computer. Go before the noob wakes up!

Everyoneruns ahead,only to find...)

1 million SIKs:HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

Harner:Feel free to loot my bag of holding of anything you like. (draws a sniper rifle from Starcraft)(in Ghost-like voice)You called down the thunder,now reap the hurricane.(nukes the middle)

Wanderatakes out the FFT field device from Part 2,uses it on self,starts casting Holy on them...but they're so packed together,he can't help but hit more than one)

Droimfinds a very weird object)Harner,where do you get this stuff?

Harnerafter blowing off another SIK's head)Internet.

Droim:Works for me!(uses it)

Meanwhile,somewhere on-board a plane...

Deekin:Hey,Boss just sends us a signal! Let's go!

Back on the battlefield...

Droim:What does this-(a plane crashes into many SIKs,and out pops Deekin and Valen,along with many many kobolds)

Valen:Next time,I drive.

Zetfinds his favorite flash cannon) DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!(fires like he has 10 forms of haste on him)

Jade:Hmmm...(accidently makes contact with a Mushroom,grows 20 feet bigger)... (goes minotaur,starts crushing everyone)

At a undisclosed location...

Almurichas pulled up a chair and has a bowl of popcorn,and is watching the battle with Bounty Hunter) How long do you think they'll fight?

Bounty:I bet they finish in 10 minutes or less.

Almuric:You're on.

Back at the battlefield...

Harnerhas launched his 5th nuke)Don't worry! Only 250,000 more to go!

Droim:Why is there a football here?(grabs it)

Harner:...Droim,throw that NOW.

Droim:Why?

Stampede of Football-Playing Fire Emblem Characters:HE HAS THE FOOTBALL! GET HIM!

Droimoint taken. (tosses it into the fray)

Stampededraw their weapons)GET HIM!(plow through a good lot of the SIKs trying to get the ball)

Wandera:Oooooooooh,shiny star...what's this button do?(pushes button on star remote)What's that sound?

Hordes of Kamakazi Kirbys on Warp Stars:BANZAI!!!(BOOM)

Zetis now dual wielding 2 flash cannons)

(10 minutes and 1 SECOND later)

All the SIKs:X_X

Almuric:I win.

Bounty:You didn't specify what we were betting. Therefore,you get nothing.

Almuricsmites bounty)

Harner:Hey,there's Almuric!(tells about SIK)

Almuric:Okay,I'll ban him.(does so)

And everyone lived happily ever after!...YEAH RIGHT!

[Wandera]

Hahah, you weren't giving off an understatement when you said you had one heck of an imagination, lol.

Very nice work JYAP, keep up the activeness, you rock!!

[JYAP]

Sniff...no one else besides you reads this...

I think I'll play around with emoticons!



Ack,Spam took over. Nuts.