Star Fox Assaulted - A Star Fox Assault spoof
This is it, folks - Star Fox Assaulted, a spoof of Star Fox Assault. What I'll do to avoid Text Blockage is post one chapter at a time. In some cases, the chapters will need to be separated. Enjoy!
Star Fox Assaulted
A Star Fox: Assault Spoof by Alex Korb
It all begins over Fortuna. The Cornerian fleet is attacking the remnants of Andross’s fleet, where Cornerian frigates fire missiles at the enemy.
Commander-type guy: Remnants of Andross’s butchers, you kept us busy long enough, but you’re time is up!
Andrew Oikonny: No quarter! Make ‘em bleed!
Commander-type guy: Attack pattern Alpha!
All Cornerian ships boost into attack speed.
Andrew: Persistent, aren’t you? Well, it’s secret weapon time! All stealth squadrons ATTACK!
All of a sudden, ships are appearing out of nowhere, firing missiles at the Cornerian fleet which turns on their deflector shields, pushing the missiles right back at them.
Pilot: Purdy shield- ~explodes~
Suddenly, a warp gate appears by the Cornerian (I need to stop using that word) fleet. Out of it comes the Great Fox and the Star Fox team.
Commander-type guy: It’s Star Fox!
Fox: Star Fox team reporting for duty.
In the briefing room-type thing…
General Pepper: Members of Star Fox…we’re kicking their arse.
Fox: I noticed.
General Pepper: However, we still need to blow up Oikonny.
Fox: You mean Andrew?
General Pepper: WHATEVER!
Slippy: It’s just that Andross had left so many darn troops behind!
Peppy: Most of ‘em are just in it for the money.
Krystal: They’re quite dedicated for a bunch of hired guns.
General Pepper: ~was using hand to mimic everyone's mouth~ Huh? What? Uh, I wasn't using my hand to mimic everyone's mouth! At any rate, get to it, Fox!
Above Fortuna…
Fox: All ships attack!
Falco: ~sees a huge volley of ships~ Dang, these guys are worse than lord Voldemort.
Suddenly, one of the Cornerian frigates blows up.
Fox: Don’t say that word!
Falco: Hehehehe…that word that word that word!
Slippy: Blow them up! Blow them up! Blow them up! Blow them up- ~has enemies on his tail~ Uh…help?
Falco: Don’t bother, Fox…he’s annoying enough alive.
Fox: ~has saved Slippy~ What now? Sorry, I was busy saving Slippy.
Falco: WHAT?! You’re too nice, you know that?
Fox: Maybe you’re right. ~guns down Falco~
Falco: WTH?! ~down~
Ape Soldier: Star Fox is headed this way!
Andrew: Star Fox, eh? Work him over!
Around 100 stealth guys appear out of nowhere.
Peppy: Now, that’s working us over…hang on.
Peppy fires the Great Fox main guns and blows up all of them.
Ape Soldier: They’ve broken through the last line of defense!
Andrew: What is he, some kind of demon? Bah! I’ll handle him!
Ape Soldier: What? Are you…you are, aren’t you…you are, right? You are? Are you? ~Andrew’s flagship flies toward Fortuna~ Oh, yeah, you are…right? You are!
ROB64: I like cereal.
Peppy: After him, Fox!
Fox: Right. Follow him into the atmosphere! Adjust G-diffuser output. Let’s go!
All ships fly toward Fortuna where they start burning up – a normal process.
Slippy: Purdy…
Peppy: Oikonny seems to have fled, but he may be lying in wait for us. I want all of you to be careful.
Falco: Worrying a bit too much, aren’t you Gramps?
Peppy: Hey, wait a minute…where did you come from? I thought you were back in the Great Fox, getting your arwing’s bum repaired.
Falco: OH BLOODY- ~asplodes~
Fox: That’s Andrew, BTW.
Peppy: Whatever. Just blow him up.
Fox: Yeah, OK.
They all boost and stop burning.
Slippy: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Text Block'd/10.