The OFFICIAL Midknight Nine fanfic,by JYAP
Me:Hi everyone! Wandera has given me permission to write a fanfic(or story for you computer illiterate)about us! Why don't you see what happens when a very imaginative-(is hit by a dictionary thrown from somewhere)OW! Ok,I'll start!
Narrator:Now,we will chronicle the stupid yet humorous adventures of the oh-so-stupid Mid-Hey wait,what are you doing with that katana?!? Wait! WAIT! AGH! MY SPLEEN!
Harner:Stupid narrator...Anyways,we got to go defeat that evil sorceror,Bodom!
Wandera:Why is he evil?
Harner:You try resisting a 36-39 Finger of Death of his. Anyways,to get to his fortress,we need to cross the Desert of Noobs,past Warrior Nation-
Droim:Why past Warrior Nation? Why not recruit them?
Harner:Uhhh...taco?
Everyone else:-_-;;;
Harner:Anyways,then we gotta go through No-Noob's Land-
Jade:No noo-OW!(gets hit with a Octagon Rod)
Harner:Shut up already! And then we have to-y'know what? Just screw it and follow me.
(In between the starting point and the desert...)
Jade:Are we there yet?
Harner:No.
(5 minutes later)
Jade:Are we there yet?
Harner:No!
(5 more minutes)
Jade:Are we there yet?
Harner:Yes.
Jade:Really?
Harner:NO!
(insert average intermission between these scenes here)
Jade:Are we there yet?
Everyone:NO!!!
Jade:Grrr...
Harner:Hey,we're here!
Wandera:How noobish are these noobs?
Random Noob With Two Katanas And Is A Human Rogue:YAAAAA!
(SLICE POUND WHAM KAMACLERIC'D!)
Harner:You see? Now,let's go!
(30 minutes,27 brutal katana carvings,19 concealment kills,15 fireballs,17 axe beatings via minotaur,and 30 kamacleric'd!s later...)
Everyone:(is getting really tired)
Wandera:Can't...take...anymore...
Zet(Yes,it's Borag's wizard and he is part of us):Out...of...fireballs...
Jade:I wish...this desert...was shorter...
Droim:So...hot...want...outta here...
Harner:Well why didn't you say so?(pulls out bag of holding,takes out 5 Mega Shotguns)1 for everyone!
Everyone:???
Harner:They're mega shotguns! Guaranteed frag every shot!
Wandera:You mean we could've used this to start with?
Harner:Yup.
(At Bodom's citadel)
Bodom:It's good to be evil.(holds up glass of wine,but just as he's about to drink it...)
Everyone:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
(Bodom's glass shatters)
(Back to our heroes...)
Everyone:(made it across with a record 20 shots total)
Harner:Yay! We made it across! Now to-
To be Continued!
Harner:Hey!!! Let me finish-
To be Continued!
Harner:LET ME-
Ninja:(throws Mage Masher dagger at Harner,shutting him up)
To be continued!!!
Part 2:Warrior Nation isn't that nice...
Narrator:When we last left off,the moronic Harner gave the also-stupid crew a mega shotgun. GO BODOM!
Everyone: :evil:
Narrator:AHH! NOT MY HEART! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
(Err,right. Moving on...)
Harner:Ok,now we gotta get past Warrior Nation.
Jade:When do we get there?(throwing axes fly into the crew's mega shotguns,breaking them)
Harner:Now. RUN!!!
(Everyone splits up as 5 different Warrior Nation people chase them.)
(Chase music from Scooby-Doo starts playing)
Wandera:(is chased into a dead end,but runs back,then runs up the wall and flips off it behind his chaser)
Jade:(is running...then wonders,why didn't she morph? Not long after that,a minotaur was seen mopping the floor with someone from WN...literally)
Zet:(runs by a pole,flips onto it ninjastyle,and flings fireballs at his pursuer,then jumps off and runs the other direction)
Droim:(ran into a conveniently placed House of Mirrors,and has a holiday with his concealment spells torturing the poor WN dude)
Harner:(runs until there's a stairway down,places his shield down,and uses it to surf down,then hits a switch to make the stairs a up escalator,then trips the WN guy somehow,putting him in a perpentual fall down a up escalator)
Everyone:(meets up at the exit)
Wandera:Whew...
Harner:At least we didn't run into-(CLANG)...Theodin. RUN SOME MORE!
Theodin:(closes all exits)YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Jade:Do we panic now?
Harner:Yes. WAAAAAAH!!!(runs around screaming)
Wandera:Wait. Harner,he's about your level,right?
Harner:Yeah. I just can't beat him somehow.
Wandera:...Plan D,now.
Harner:Errr...Plan D?
Droim+Zet:(fire off a relentless barrage of Bigby's Forceful Hands,Fingers of Death,and Issac's Greater Missile Storms)
Theodin:(was wearing a reflect ring)
Droim+Zet:X_X
Wandera:Oh boy. Plan S?
Harner:Plan S?
Jade:(morphs into minotaur form,then is exposed to some chemicals via Wandera to be even stronger)JADE SMASH!
Harner:Originality factor:0.
(WHACK)
Harner:Owww!
Jade:(tries to hit Theodin,but even in plate,he's too fast for sluggish blows)
Theodin:(eventually criticals with Ki Damage...5 times...in a row)
Jade:X_X
Wandera:Yup. We're dead.
Harner:How bout Plan Z?
Wandera:Plan Z?
Harner:(reaches into his bag of holding,takes out a device,pushes the button labelled FFT Mode)
Room:(morphs into a FFT battlefield)
Wandera:What does this do...and what the heck am I?
Harner:Oh,you're a white mage.
Wandera:I hate light magic!
Harner:You get the strongest spell in the game.
Wandera:Sold.
Harner:(moves behind Theodin,slashes twice with his dual Spell Edges,deals 260 damage total)Ninjas rule.
Theodin:(has turned into a Knight,and promptly uses Weapon Break on Harner...and hits)
Harner:NOO! MY SPELL EDGES! WAAAAAAAH!
Wandera:(shrugs,and charges up Holy)
Theodin:(in slow-mo,runs at Wandera,trying to stop the spell)Nooooooooo!
Wandera:(hits with Holy,deals 300+ damage)
Theodin:X_X
Harner:We won! Yay! Now-
To be continued!
Almuric,if you find this part offensive to your guild,I'll replace it with some other random guild.
Part 3:The return of the noobs...
Narrator:When we-
Sugar-high Lancer:WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(bounces THROUGH narrator several times)
Wandera:C'mon,let's go!
Harner:What do we do with them?(points to KOed party members)
Wandera:(evil smile)
(Later,en route to No-Noob's Land...)
Harner:(is tossing bag with KOed members ahead)Wow,great plan Wandera!
Wandera:I'm full of em!
Droim+Zet+Jade:(have woken up right before being tossed)WHOA!!!
Harner:Yup,they're awake. Oh look,there's No-Noob's Land.
Wandera:Why is it No-Noob's Land?
Harner:Cause all the noobs go in,but the pros here slaughter them. Wonder how long till-(is spotted via searchlight)Oh boy.
Mr.Truck:Attack,my minions!
Wandera:What do we do?
Harner:Oh relax,they can't be-(gets surrounded)...Shoot. Uhh...let's be friends? (WHAM SOCK POW KA-TANG INSERTBEATINGHERE) X_X
Wandera:We're dead. Too bad we don't have a really powerful weapon to wipe them out with. (several weapons from The Grid start raining down) Wow. Ask and ye shall recieve. (picks up bullhorn)What's this thing do?(pulls trigger,sends random pro into a wall)
Zet:Ooooooooooh...(touches flash cannon,watches it fire,massacring whoever got in the way of it)... :twisted:
Droim:(picked up a cannon)Hmmm...(fires it,sending a huge cannonball into a guy,which is stuck on the cannonball until he slams into the wall)
Jade:Something about this seems so right.(sweeps up enemy with machine gun)
Wandera:Hey look,cash! (collects it all) Hey,what's this huge round thing with a fuse?(throws it)
DA BOMB!
Every Pro:X_X
Mr.Truck:Well...err...noob ghosts,attack!
Wandera:You gotta be kidding me. (turns them)
Harner:(wakes up)Wow,you guys totalled them.
Mr.Truck:I'll...just...sneak away now...(is hit by a random falling anvil and dies)
Harner:Well,we're outta here. Now-
To be continued!
