Star Fox Assaulted - A Star Fox Assault spoof

This is it, folks - Star Fox Assaulted, a spoof of Star Fox Assault. What I'll do to avoid Text Blockage is post one chapter at a time. In some cases, the chapters will need to be separated. Enjoy!

Star Fox Assaulted


A Star Fox: Assault Spoof by Alex Korb

It all begins over Fortuna. The Cornerian fleet is attacking the remnants of Andross’s fleet, where Cornerian frigates fire missiles at the enemy.

Commander-type guy: Remnants of Andross’s butchers, you kept us busy long enough, but you’re time is up!

Andrew Oikonny: No quarter! Make ‘em bleed!

Commander-type guy: Attack pattern Alpha!

All Cornerian ships boost into attack speed.

Andrew: Persistent, aren’t you? Well, it’s secret weapon time! All stealth squadrons ATTACK!

All of a sudden, ships are appearing out of nowhere, firing missiles at the Cornerian fleet which turns on their deflector shields, pushing the missiles right back at them.

Pilot: Purdy shield- ~explodes~

Suddenly, a warp gate appears by the Cornerian (I need to stop using that word) fleet. Out of it comes the Great Fox and the Star Fox team.

Commander-type guy: It’s Star Fox!

Fox: Star Fox team reporting for duty.

In the briefing room-type thing…

General Pepper: Members of Star Fox…we’re kicking their arse.

Fox: I noticed.

General Pepper: However, we still need to blow up Oikonny.

Fox: You mean Andrew?

General Pepper: WHATEVER!

Slippy: It’s just that Andross had left so many darn troops behind!

Peppy: Most of ‘em are just in it for the money.

Krystal: They’re quite dedicated for a bunch of hired guns.

General Pepper: ~was using hand to mimic everyone's mouth~ Huh? What? Uh, I wasn't using my hand to mimic everyone's mouth! At any rate, get to it, Fox!

Above Fortuna…

Fox: All ships attack!

Falco: ~sees a huge volley of ships~ Dang, these guys are worse than lord Voldemort.

Suddenly, one of the Cornerian frigates blows up.

Fox: Don’t say that word!

Falco: Hehehehe…that word that word that word!

Slippy: Blow them up! Blow them up! Blow them up! Blow them up- ~has enemies on his tail~ Uh…help?

Falco: Don’t bother, Fox…he’s annoying enough alive.

Fox: ~has saved Slippy~ What now? Sorry, I was busy saving Slippy.

Falco: WHAT?! You’re too nice, you know that?

Fox: Maybe you’re right. ~guns down Falco~

Falco: WTH?! ~down~

Ape Soldier: Star Fox is headed this way!

Andrew: Star Fox, eh? Work him over!

Around 100 stealth guys appear out of nowhere.

Peppy: Now, that’s working us over…hang on.

Peppy fires the Great Fox main guns and blows up all of them.

Ape Soldier: They’ve broken through the last line of defense!

Andrew: What is he, some kind of demon? Bah! I’ll handle him!

Ape Soldier: What? Are you…you are, aren’t you…you are, right? You are? Are you? ~Andrew’s flagship flies toward Fortuna~ Oh, yeah, you are…right? You are!

ROB64: I like cereal.

Peppy: After him, Fox!

Fox: Right. Follow him into the atmosphere! Adjust G-diffuser output. Let’s go!

All ships fly toward Fortuna where they start burning up – a normal process.

Slippy: Purdy…

Peppy: Oikonny seems to have fled, but he may be lying in wait for us. I want all of you to be careful.

Falco: Worrying a bit too much, aren’t you Gramps?

Peppy: Hey, wait a minute…where did you come from? I thought you were back in the Great Fox, getting your arwing’s bum repaired.

Falco: OH BLOODY- ~asplodes~

Fox: That’s Andrew, BTW.

Peppy: Whatever. Just blow him up.

Fox: Yeah, OK.

They all boost and stop burning.

Slippy: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Text Block'd/10.

Fox: Rob! Find that black-hearted ape’s location!

ROB64: OK.

…

Fox: Nothing here but a bunch of trees.

Peppy: The trees have eyes, Fox…watch out.

Fox: Simple. ~nova bombs forest~

Slippy: There’s the base!

Krystal: Huh? LOOK OUT! The enemy’s waiting for us!

The door to the base opens and 10000 fighters appear out of nowhere, followed by 20 stealth guys.

Fox: For me? ~nova bombs them~

Slippy + Krystal: ~shrug~

Afterwards, Krystal goes after two random fighters that never should have flown near her.

Krystal: Here we go!

Meanwhile, Slippy goes after a magically walking pillar.

Slippy: Hey, look! The pillar’s walking magically!

Fox: Oh no…it’s Star Fox Adventures all over again! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! ~boosts to the door where Andrew lies~

ROB64: I like chocolate milk.

Falco: (from the Great Fox) No one cares.

Andrew: Bah! Persistent little beasties, aren't you? Enough hide and seek! ~stops~ I will show you my true power! ~transforminates~

Fox: Andrew, you ignorant ape...what are you up to now?

Peppy: Careful, Fox...you never know what a cornered beast might do.

Fox: What are you talking about? Slippy's predictable as heck.

Andrew: ~finishes transforminating into a giant Andross thingy~ I must bring an end to our relationship! DIEDIEDIE! ~activates Star Wars: Mysteries of the Sith code for all weapons and gets out 500 concussion cannons~

Peppy: What'd I tell ya?

Fox: Peppy, shut up. Andrew, die. Team, let's blow this joint!

The entire team, while suffering crap-loads of damage from its concussion cannons, shoots off the Andross thingy's arms and disables them.

Fox: That'll teach you to call me a demon.

Andrew: BAHAHAHAHAHA! Is that the best you've got?! I am the only heir to the Great Emperor Andross! The new emperor...Andrew Oikonny! ~cricket chirps~

Suddenly, a beam from above hits the Andross thingy and blows it up.

Andrew: Uncle Andross!!!!!

A pointed-cylinder shaped creature flies in and stabs Slippy's arwing before presenting its moth-like form.

Slippy: ~appears on Zebeth like he would appear in heaven~ Planet Zebeth! ~instantly attacked by Desgeega~ AAAAH!!! HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!

Meanwhile, back on Fortuna, Fox and Krystal are the only ones left to see this creature.

Krystal: Such strange thought patterns...

Peppy: No! It can't be!

ROB64: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

Peppy: AN APAROID!

Fox: Aparoid?

The Aparoid fires its beam cannon and almost hits Krystal who shrieks.

Fox: No time to hesitate! Return fire!

Fox and Krystal fire at the wings with everything they have...which is absolutely NOTHING. Meanwhile, Falco flies back into the fray, his arwing repaired.

Falco: Pathetic. ~nova-bombs the thing~

The aparoid loses all its wings and opens its head to reveal a purple thingy.

Peppy: It’s too early to celebrate…look!

The aparoid then fires a beam at the ground creating a pool of lava and throwing rocks everywhere.

Peppy: Keep your wits about you, everyone!

Then, Fox activates the Mysteries of the Sith code for all force powers.

Fox: IAMAGOD ~gets all force powers~

Finally, Fox uses force Deadly Sight to destroy both the rocks and the creature’s thingy, thus killing it. Afterwards, Fox sees some sort of bubbly thing on the ground.

Fox: What’s that?!

Peppy: I don’t believe it…Fox, you have to get that!

Fox: Really? Well, OK.

Fox lands to get the Core Memory with Slippy running past him with the desgeega still on his head when all of a sudden, a crap-load more aparoids fly to the surface.

Peppy: Uh…Fox? Get that Core Memory and get out of there!!!

Mission Owned
Badges Earned: Friendship Badge, Kill Falco badge, MotS Badge, Bronze Badge, Silver Badge, Gold Badge, Platinum Badge, Adamantine Badge, Mithral Badge

Fox: All ships are home! That was freaky, eh?

Slippy: I still have this DANG DESGEEGA on my head! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 2


The sequel to the spoof by Alex Korb

Fox and his team are being briefed by General Pepper.

General Pepper: Members of Star Fox, the Lylat system is in peril. A grave danger looms above us.

Fox: What/where is this danger?

General Pepper: Him. ~points to the Star Fox Adventures General Pepper~

SFA General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! GET IT!?

General Pepper: He’s annoying as heck. We need some way to get rid of him.

Falco: Well, that’s easy. ~pulls out an H-launcher~

Krystal: ~stops him~ Wait! If you kill him, we’ll become murderers!

Falco: Also solvable.

Falco puts a mask over his face and a sticky note on his armor that says “I’m not Falco”. He then fires his H-launcher at SFA General Pepper who is blasted into the sky.

SFA General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! THAT HURT!

SFA General Pepper lands on the Aparoid homeworld where he is torn to pieces by Aparoids.

SFA General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! I’M DEAD!

Meanwhile, back at the…briefing room…thing…

General Pepper: Well, that’s over with. Anyway, we need you to go to Katina and find out who sent the distress signal and why.

Fox: Sure thing!

Meanwhile, at the Great Fox, four arwings piloted by Krystal, Falco, Fox, and Slippy launch from the Great Fox.

SFA General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! FLY THROUGH 500 GOLD RINGS TO REACH DINOSAUR PLANET!

Falco: Didn’t I just kill you?

An awkward silence lasts for 5 seconds.

Falco: OH, no I didn’t! That was the OTHER guy!

Fox: Adjust G-diffuser output. Let’s head into the atmosphere.

All four ships head into the atmosphere of Katina where they find a base. Slippy is instantly chased by Aparoids.

Slippy: Darn it! I'm being chased!

Fox: You always say that.

Peppy: Fox, help him out!

Fox: You always say that.

Peppy: NO, I DON'T!

Fox: You always say-

Fox finds himself under attack by Aparoids.

Fox: You talked me into it. ~saves Slippy from certain death~

Slippy: Thanks, Fox! I thought I was a goner!

All of a sudden, Star Wolf and his team, which includes Panther, Leon, and Wolf himself, blast Slippy into Kingdom Come.

Panther: You ARE a goner!

Leon: ...OK, that wasn't funny.

Fox: We don't have time for this! We have to stop the Aparoids!

Panther: Can't let you do that, Star Fox!

Wolf: ~guns down Panther~ My line!

Leon: Heheh! I think I'll torment you a bit before I COOK YOU!

Falco: Had a bit too much helium, eh, Leon?

Leon: ~a bunch of swirly red things appear over his head; he notices them and throws them out of his Wolfen~ YOU'RE DEAD!

Leon tries to attack Falco and vice versa, resulting in both of them crashing.

Fox: C'mon, people! How many team members are we gonna lose here!?

Krystal's arwing suddenly asplodes and she ejects via an escape pod.

Krystal: Bloody plot device.

Wolf: It's just you and me now, Fox.

Text Block'd/10.

At that point Fox and Wolf duke it out over the base. Just when it seems both of them are going to crash all of a sudden…

Yami-Yugi: I cast POLYMERIZATION for no reason!

Fox and Wolf’s ship fuses into one ship with Fox AND Wolf as the pilots.

Wolf: I HATE Yu-gi-oh.

Fox: Just blast him already!

The ship moves in, guns Yami-Yugi down and slides out of the base creating a crap-load of sparks as it does so. The ship finally stops near Falco, where Nanny McPhee suddenly appears.

Nanny McPhee: I did not.

Falco: Yes you did.

Nanny McPhee: No I didn’t.

Falco: Yes you did.

Nanny McPhee: No I didn’t!

Falco: Yes you did.

Nanny McPhee: No I didn’t!

Falco: Yes you did.

Nanny McPhee: NO I DIDN’T!

Falco: Yes you did.

Nanny McPhee: NO! I! DIDN’T!!!

Falco takes the opportunity to shoot a rocket into Nanny McPhee’s mouth while it is so comically wide.

Nanny McPhee: Mmm, that was delicious…~asplodes~

Suddenly, the Aparoid Leader, a giant flying saucer on legs, lands and steps on Grimm’s invisigun. Meanwhile, inside the invisigun…

Grimm: Oh, bloody ****! Now I got to repair the boiler!

Grimm stomps into the boiler room, oblivious to the fact that the boiler had nothing to do with it.

Fox: We’ve got to stop that thing!

Peppy: Fox, I’m sending you a Landmaster.

Fox: Great!

Peppy sends a Landmaster to Zoness instead of Katina, purely on purpose.

Peppy: All done!

Fox: So where is it!?

Peppy: On Zoness.

Fox: GAH! Slippy, you idiot!

Slippy: What’d I do? What’d I do!?

Wolf: Why don’t you all SHUT UP! It’s obvious that we’re not going to beat this thing arguing 70% of the time. I have a plan…

The entire team huddles and Wolf whispers a plan to them…

Falco: What?

Wolf: I said that Fox and I will attack that thing on the bottom of the leader by ship and when the thing on the top appears, we’ll drop you off on top where you’ll be able to destroy it.

Fox: Sounds good!

Wolf: OF COURSE IT’S GOOD!

With that, the ship flies into the fray and blasts the underthingy of the Aparoid Leader. It is instantly destroyed and the leader falls to the ground, stunned.

Fox: Alright, you're up, team!

The ship lands a team consisting of Krystal, Falco, and Slippy on top of the Aparoid Leader which gets back up only to be bombarded by the three of them. Falco blasts the upper thingy with his H-launcher, Krystal guns it down with her gatling gun, and Slippy bludgeons the thingy to death with a wrench. In a few moments' time, the leader asplodes, revealing a core memory.

Everyone: YAY!

Grimm comes coughing out of his invisigun.

Grimm: What the **** happened? ~eyes the entire team~ Did you have anything to do with the destruction of my invisigun?

Slippy: Nope.

Krystal: No.

Falco: What the ****'s an invisigun?

Krystal: Who are you, anyway?

Grimm: Who am I? Who am I!? I’m GR1(V)(V)!!!

Krystal: Alright, "GR1(V)(V)"...so what are you doing here?

Grimm: Well, I-

Suddenly, Grimm is tractor-beamed by Pigma.

Pigma: Rahahaha!

Wolf: Pigma!

Fox: Grimm! Err, I mean, Pigma!

Pigma: Does it mean that much to you? Rahahaha! Then I'm gonna be rrrrrrRICH! ~realizes that he didn't say the rrrrr part in Rich and that it was actually his fly opening~

Grimm: Are you aware that I can't breath in space?

Pigma: ...~releases long, loud, but fortunately not smelly fart as he ponders this, then flies off~

(Note: That was supposed to be a taunt-the-fat-guy joke and not a bathroom joke)

Peppy: DANG! We lost Grimm! But there is some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

Falco: No one cares, Peppy.

Fox: How could there be car insurance when we're in outer space and we have no cars?

Fin.

Peppy: ...

Star Fox Assaulted 3

Ohmygodasequel by Alex Korb

Back in the Briefing Room thing…

Peppy: Dang it, Pigma! Why’d you have to flee to such a vile place?

Slippy: They say Sargasso base is home to all sorts of criminals!

Krystal: Grimm could be in terrible pain!

Meanwhile, at Sargasso base…

Grimm’s running through the hangar having spotted a Wolfen.

Grimm: Hey, look guys! I found a ship! I FOUND A SHIP!

Pigma: That’s MY ship! Get back here!

Grimm gets in and takes off. Pigma leaps for the wing but ends up in space and suffocates.

Back in the briefing room thing…

Ruffian: Heys! Whats ares yous doings? This is territories ofs Lords O’Donnells!

Falco: Darn, I knew I should have gotten that Anti-Hacker software.

Fox: This is the Star Fox team. By order of the Star Fox team, we, the Star Fox team, are ordering you to-

Falco: Crawl into a hole and die!

Fox: …well, that…and hand over Grimm by order of the Star Fox team’s order!

Ruffian: That’s alls yous wanteds? Fines, takes hims…he’s gonnas comes bys boxes. We’res stills gonnas haves tos blows yous ups.

Fox: That’s why we’re here. Peppy, care to do the honors?

Peppy: No can do, Fox. We still need to save-

Fox: Not you! The OTHER Peppy.

Peppy: The "other" Peppy?

N64 Peppy: Do a barrel roll! ~fires Great Fox cannons at the base~

Grimm: ~watches from the Wolfen as the base explodes~ Coooooooooollllll...

Peppy: I was always better than you, stupid suggestion machine!

N64 Peppy: Use the brakes!

Fox: Great job, guys! Now, let's get out of here!

Suddenly, the N64 Wolf appears out of nowhere.

Wolf: Can't let you do that, Star Fox!

The Star Fox team gets to their Arwings and attempt to drive back the enemy.

Fox: The heck are you doing here? Where's the REAL Star Wolf?

Wolf: They're back on Katina wondering what the **** they should do!

Back on Katina...

Gamecube Wolf: ~walking through a huge desert~ ...water...water...

Gamecube Leon: ...helium...helium...

Panther: ...roses...roses...

Back at the base...

Fox: Makes sense...well, now, the team and I are going to have to, like, blast you. Nothing personal.

Wolf: You won't beat me this time! ~unfolds like that of a Star Wars X-wing and guns down Slippy~

Slippy: Wheeeeeeeee! ~crashes on a random asteroid~

Fox: But that's just Slippy! He sucks!

Wolf: Meh. I don't have the heart to blow you up anyway. At least, not ever since I lost my team to a cookie. See ya.

Wolf's fighter flies off into space.

Mission Owned
Badges earned: Bronze Badge, Silver Badge, Gold Badge, Platinum Badge, Mithral Badge

Back on Katina again...

Gamecube Wolf: Can't...go on...need...water...

Suddenly, the N64 Wolfens owned by Leon, Pigma, and Andrew crash onto the surface.

Gamecube Wolf+Leon+Panther: YEEHAW!!!

Gamecube Wolf: Wait...it's just a mirage.

Gamecube Leon: ~eyes a self-destruction button on a Wolfen~ So if I press this button, nothing will happen? Let's see...

N64 Leon: WAIT NO DON'T-

Gamecube Leon presses the button and destroys the fighter.

Everyone: YAY!!!!

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 4

The Pink Spoof by Alex Korb

Star Fox and his team are in the Great Fox being briefed by General Pepper.

General Pepper: Great job, team! We have both Grimm and Pigma’s Core Memory. Now we can find the location of the Aparoid Queen!

Fox: Understood. We-

Krystal: Wait…I’m sensing a distress call from Sauria.

Grimm: ~mutters~ And it was getting to the good part, too.

Krystal: I don’t know who sent it…but I sense cries of suffering!

Back in the Briefing Room…

Peppy: Oh, dang! It’s horrible! The Aparoids are attacking Sauria!

Falco: So what are we waiting for? Let’s get out there!

Fox: Alright. Falco, Slippy…you have the skies. Krystal, Grimm and I will head to the surface.

Krystal: A mission together at last.

Fox: Oh, umm, yeah.

Falco: What are you two doing? Let’s go!

Grimm: Blast you, I won’t wait for this! I’m going to kill something if it kills me back!

A few moments later, on Sauria…

Grimm blows up a Saurian temple with a potato.

Krystal: Grimm, what are you doing!? We’re supposed to SAVE Sauria, not destroy it!

Grimm: Oh, SAVE!

Grimm pulls out a machine gun and in a few moments’ time he obliterates all of the Aparoids.

Falco: …OK, that works, too…

After the rest of the team had flown away, Grimm, Fox, & Krystal stay on the surface.

Fox: Looks like all the aparoids have left...

Krystal: Sauria should be safe for a long time to come.

Grimm: Dang! Oh well, I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Suddenly, the three of them hear a sound from the bushes and in the air leaps Tricky, all grown up.

Tricky: FOXXXXXX!!!!!

Fox: Tricky?!

Grimm starts firing on Tricky but misses every shot. With that, Tricky lands Fox.

Tricky: Oh, it’s so good to see you again!

Fox: Tricky…so heavy…ow…

Grimm: ~says this as Krystal laughs~ Why did I volunteer to stay here again?

Moments later...

Fox, Krystal, & Grimm are all riding on Tricky.

Fox: I'm leaving this planet in your hands, Mr. Anders- I, I mean, Tricky.

Tricky: Cool! Now you and Krystal can come back on your honeymoon!

Fox: HONEYMOON!? We're not even married yet! Err, not yet...I mean...well, this isn't a conversation for children!

Grimm: Sauria - the planet of embarrassment. ~is elbowed in the back by Krystal~ OW **** IT!

Tricky: I'm not a kid anymore!

Fox: Well, stop acting like one!

Tricky: You're just-

Krystal: Oh, stop it, boys...

Grimm: Again, why did I volunteer to stay here?

Meanwhile, on Katina...

Wolf and Leon are about to take off when suddenly...

Panther: You can mine helium on this planet!

Leon brakes and due to the forces of gravity, his Wolfen crashes.

Leon: I hate you. ~boom~

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 5

Revenge of the Pink Spoof by Alex Korb

Fox and his team are in the briefing room thingy.

General Pepper: You fools! While you were gone saving Sauria, the aparoids blew Corneria up, and now I’M an aparoid!

Fox: Say wha?

General Pepper: Uh…fine weather we’re having today!

Fox: You’re a fine weather we’re having today?

General Pepper: Uh, no! No! I’m just fine. Now go save Corneria, you fools!

Peppy: Bad news, team…somebody set up us the radar jammers.

Fox: OK, I’ll head planetside and destroy the radar jammers. You all take to the air.

On Corneria…

Lots and lots of aparoids walk around doing stuff.

Fox: Did he say this was Corneria?

Falco: Didn’t he also say that Corneria blew up? As in, it’s GONE?

Fox: Err…yesno.

Falco: Yesno?

Fox: If he said Corneria blew up, then-

Falco: Don’t…

Fox: Why are we-

Falco: DON’T…

Fox: -here?

Falco: RUN! RUN FAR AWAY!

Suddenly, the ground starts to shake and everyone except Fox evacuates the planet. Meanwhile, Wolf lands his Wolfen in some place on Corneria and presses the self-destruct button to the planet. As the planet was already blowing up, it had a reverse effect, stopping the explosion of the planet.

Slippy: Hey! It stopped blowing up!

Krystal: Perhaps there’s a self-destruct button on the planet. Pressing that STOPPED the planet from blowing up due to the fact that it was already blowing up, thus the button would be in reverse.

Slippy: ~falls out of his seat in laughter~ That’s completely absurd! Bahahahaha! Wait! Maybe there’s a self-destruct button on the planet! As the planet was already blowing up, the button would be in reverse, and STOP the planet from blowing up! Man, where do I come up with this stuff?!

Krystal: -_-

Peppy: You still need to save Corneria, you know.

Falco: Yeah, OK. Alright, everyone head to the surface!

Slippy: Who died and made you king?

Falco: I have a T in leadership. (Note: There is no such grade as T but it would be the lowest if it existed)

So they all fly back to Corneria where they encounter a crap-load of aparoids. Everyone except Falco is gunning them down to no avail.

Falco: Pathetic. ~bombs the mass of aparoids~

Everyone: Yay!

Suddenly, General Pepper’s flagship pops out of nowhere.

General Pepper: You fools! You came too late!

Fox: Wait a minute! I thought you were a fine weather we’re having today!

General Pepper: OF COURSE NOT!

Peppy: Of course not!

A random turken (crossbreed between a chicken and a turkey): Of course not!

Fox: Well, to take out this boss, I need to ride on someone’s wing. Who will it be?

Krystal + Wolf + Slippy: Not it!

Falco: Oh, bloody ****.

A few moments later, Fox is gunning down the general on Falco’s wing.

General Pepper: Agagagagagagagaga- KEEP SHOOTING ME, YOU FOOL! –agagagagagagaga… (Note: All these “ags” are him responding to Fox firing him – kind of like someone getting hit with a stick would say something like “Oof!”)

Suddenly, General Pepper blows up.

General Pepper: You fool! You blew me up! ~starts to fall~

Peppy: ~flies into the fray~ General Pepper!

Fox: Peppy!

Peppy intercepts the general’s fall and saves him.

General Pepper: You fool! You saved me!

Peppy: Yes? And? Anyway, contact the medical corps. One way or another, my duty’s done.

General Pepper: No it's not, you fool!

SFA General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! HE CALLED YOU FOOL!

And whatever happened to good ol’ Grimm?

Seems Grimm was never mentioned in this story. Why, you ask?

Back on Katina…

Leon and Panther are giving the hitchhiker thumb to Grimm who guns them down.

Grimm: Warning - hitchhikers may be escaping convicts.

Panther: We're not convicts.

Leon: Shaddup. We're dead, remember?

Fin.

General Pepper: You fool! You read this spoof!

We interrupt this program to bring you OMStar Fox, a spoof of Star Fox Adventures. Enjoy.

OMStar Fox


Bonus spoof of Star Fox Adventures by Alex Korb

It was a dark and stormy night. Of course, it was always a dark and stormy night because Nintendo wouldn't get off their lazy bums to make persistent weather for this place. Anyway, Krystal somehow falls onto a Krazoa temple floor, afterwards approaching this crystal thing that was supposed to hold her in unto Fox came along - a trap, one might say.

Nintendo Policeman: ~jumps out of nowhere with the rest of his squad~ You’re under arrest!

Krystal: Wait a minute! What did I do?

Some cop accidentally runs into Krystal and bashes her into the crystal thing.

Meanwhile, in the Great Fox...

Fox is listening to a bunch of corny rock music.

Fox: Wait a minute. This type of music exists?

Suddenly, General Pepper's head appears over the holoviewer. He just looks like a dog's dismembered head with a hat and some sort of neck collar on.

General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! GENERAL PEPPER HERE! FOX, IF YOU GO SAVE DINOSAUR PLANET, YOU GET ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!

Fox: Excellent! Let's go, team!

In outer space nearing Dinosaur Planet...

Fox is flying alone near Dinosaur planet.

Fox: When I said, "Let's go team!” I mean the whole team and not just myself.

General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! FLY THROUGH ONE GOLD RING TO REACH DINOSAUR PLANET!

Fox: One question…what do gold rings have to do with reaching a planet?

Before he knows it, Fox is in combat in an asteroid field comically surrounding Dinosaur Planet. He misses a gold ring.

Slippy: You missed a gold ring!

Fox: Do ya THINK I know that by now?!

Peppy: Keep goin’!

Fox: What do you think I’m doing?

Fox is hit by a mine.

Slippy: Watch out for-

Fox guns down the holoviewer with a machine gun. By that time, Fox has went through a gold ring and made it to the planet.

Slippy: You did it, Fox! The force shield is down!

Fox: Force-shield? Since when did the planet have a force shield?

Slippy: It’s safe for you to land! Slippy out!

On Dinosaur Planet…

Fox has landed and is hailed by General Pepper.

General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! NICE FLYING, FOX! I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D MAKE IT THERE FOR A MOMENT!

Fox: How is that funny, General Pep…per…~sees that his machine gun has mysteriously disappeared~ Alright, General, hand over my machine gun!

General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! WE’RE TRYING TO SAVE THE PLANET, NOT BLOW IT UP!

Fox: How the heck am I going to blow up a planet with a machine gun?!

General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! IT'S THE SAME THING WITH YOU ALL THE TIME, FOX: SHOOT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER! LIKE THAT ONE TIME!

Fox: Oh no NOT ANOTHER FLASH BACK-

Flashback...

Fox guns down a tiny shelled critter.

Fox: HA! Eat that! Now, who are you again?

Shelled critter: Help...me...~dies~

...kcabhsalF


General Pepper: HAW HAW HAW! USE YOUR HEAD!

Text Block'd/10.

Fox: I just used it, you fool! ~General Pepper is out~ Son of a- ~sees a staff~ Ooh, look, a staff!

Fox hurries to take the staff out of the ground when suddenly, he receives a telepathic message.

Krystal (as in the message): Get your own staff!

The staff stabs Fox around three times, causing him to fall down, before returning to its post.

Fox: Son of a…~sees a blaster carbine~ Ooh, lookie there…

Fox hurries to take the blaster carbine out of the ground and loads it like some sort of shotgun.

Fox: Heh heh heh heh heh…

A bunch of Sharpclaw idiots approach Fox and they are promptly blasted by him. A few moments later, half the planet blows up.

Later…

Fox approaches an encased Krystal when suddenly, the Nintendo Police jumps out of nowhere.

Nintendo Policeman: You’re under arrest!

Fox: For WHAT!?

Nintendo Policeman 2: Err…we’re still figuring that out!

A policeman releases Krystal from the...err...crystal...and hauls Fox into it.

Nintendo Policeman 3: Sorry, Krystal...you were right. We got the wrong one.

Meanwhile, someone is interviewing Star Wolf and his team.

Wolf: I always thought this game was kind of weird. A: Because it didn't feature us, and B: because it was more or less a rip off of Legend of Zelda.

Nintendo Policeman 3: He knows! Get him!

The Nintendo Police open fire on the team with blaster pistols. Meanwhile, they [the team] head for a Droid Gunship comically placed in the hangar.

Wolf: Hurry! Get in!

Everyone except Panther gets in, who is taunting the guards.

Panther: I shall now make my grand escape in this strange vehicle! ~gives the rose which gives the finger, then goes to pilot the ship~

The Droid Gunship takes off with Panther as the pilot.

Panther: I wonder what this button does? ~presses button~

The gunship does a flip and crashes into a wall and asplodes.

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 6

A Spoof in the Dark by Alex Korb

Fox and ~cough cough~ Holy crap. Anyway, Fox and his team are in the briefing room thingy.

Slippy: I did it!

Fox: Did what?

Slippy: I managed to take part of a gene from Martha Stewart and put it into this bunny!

A black-furred bunny walks up to the team.

Krystal + Peppy + Slippy: Awwwww!

Fox: Martha Stewart exists?

Falco shudders for a moment and then goes seemingly crazy.

Falco: BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY!

This seems to scare the bunny and it hides under a cookie.

Falco: Black bunnies make my allergies act up.

Slippy: Those were allergies?

Fox: They didn't seem much like allergies to me. More like going loco. Hey, wait a minute. There's a Mexico in outer space?

Peppy: Listen, Fox. Can you just-

N64 Peppy: Do a barrel roll! ~is gunned down by Gamecube Peppy with a potato~

Beltino Toad: Hey everyone! It's me again!

Fox: Since when did you start showing up?

Beltino: SINCE I POPPED OUT OF… ~covers his mouth~ Oh my, please excuse me. Anyway, we’re researching a mass weapon of destruction-

Black Bunny: ~speaks in critter lingo~ Dow wou mon wopon o moss dostroction?

Beltino: Wait a minute…did that bunny just talk?

Slippy: Yeah! I combined one of Martha Stewart’s-

Beltino: Not that one…him. ~points to Peppy~

Peppy: Of course I did, you pea-brained frog-thing!

Beltino: If I were pea-brained, how is it that I managed to make that anti-aparoid weapon?

Fox: Wait a minute…weapon? Why didn’t you tell me about that!?

Beltino: Oh, right. We finished this weapon, right? And it makes aparoids self-destruct, right? But we need to build the gate, right? Then we need to put the weapon in Fox’s ship, right? Then he can launch it at the Aparoid queen, right? Right? Right? Ri- ~is hit over the head by Peppy~

Peppy: We’ve been in here for way too long! Star Wolf’s attacking!

Fox: Let’s go, team!

Falco: How did he become leader, again?

Black Bunny: Yow oloctod hom.

Falco: Whaddya mean I elected BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY!

The black bunny runs off, scared half to death – twice.

In space, above a research station…

Finally, Fox and his team are in action. There, they see 10 or so “battleships” (they’re freaking weak) wreaking havoc. Fox and his team moves in to find Star Wolf (The Gamecube one) in the distance.

Wolf: Fox! You won’t win this time. You’re going to pay for the destruction of my base.

Fox: Frankly, that was 100 other criminals’ base, too.

Wolf: But I was king ‘o them all! You killed them, Fox! YOU killed them! You KILLED them! You killed THEM!

Fox: Isn’t that good?

Wolf: Say hello to another member of Star Wolf!

Suddenly, another Wolfen appears from behind a battleship. The pilot? ...Black Bunny himself.

Black Bunny: How hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho (everyone is bored to death) hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohow!

Falco: Oh craBLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY BLACK BUNNY!

The black bunny guns him down.

Falco: I can't BLACK BUNNY take this any BLACK BUNNY more! ~flies off~

Krystal: Sad how something so cute could become so deluded.

Slippy: I'VE CREATED A MONSTER!

Fox: ~bombs the black bunny~

Black Bunny: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ~explodes on the Great Fox~

Falco: ~from inside the Great Fox~ Thank god, that thing's gone.

Slippy: Thankfully, I have 499 black bunnies left!

Falco: ...I hate you.
Text Block'd/10.

Wolf: That’s not the end of it. ~casts Armageddon from Populus: The Beginning~

Fox and Wolf find themselves in an arena where they fight to the death.

Fox: You’re going down!

Wolf: I’ll tear you apart before I die!

Fox: We’ll see about that! I’m gonna crush you!

Wolf: I’ll blast you into space before-

Falco: ~bored to tears~ Darn it, FIGHT ALREADY!

Fox + Wolf: Fine… ~they fight~

Fox is busy blasting Wolf to death…to no avail.

Wolf: Pathetic. ~guns Fox down~

Fox is blown up.

Fox: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH- ~ejects~ Aww.

The huddled mass of flame and Arwing hits the Death Star, causing it to fire at Alderaan.

Wolf: ~gloats and taunts~ Oh yeah! I pwned you! You r t3h suxx0rs! All your base are belong to-

Wolf is hit by debris from Alderaan and his Wolfen is destroyed, causing him to eject.

Wolf: Mark my words, Mr. McCloud; I’ll get you for this!

Beltino: We’ve finished the weapon!

All the Ruffians on the ships: Awwww…~insert other comments here~

Fox: Great! Now we can attack the Aparoid homeworld!

Meanwhile, on Tatooine…

Wolf is giving the hitchhiker thumb to a Sandcrawler.

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 7

The Spoof Strikes Back by Alex Korb

When we last saw Fox McCloud, he was about to be exploded.

Fox is over the Corneria orbital gate getting his bum kicked by Aparoids.

Fox: Wait a minute! No I wasn’t!

Oh, right, no he wasn’t. Well, he was about to be briefed.

Beltino: Members of the Cornerian Fleet…

Fox: Oh bloody ****…

Beltino: …The time has come to get our arses kicked- I mean, uh, fight the Aparoids at their homeworld. So do your best, everyone…but try to come back alive…

Gate Guy: Lock 1…lock 2…lock 3…Loch Lomond…oh, what am I saying? You’re not going to listen to me anyway. ~opens the gate~

Beltino: Oh yeah, and Grimm has to come, too. No hunting ruffians while we’re gone!

Back on Katina…

Grimm: Aww… ~flies off to the orbital gate~

Back at the orbital gate…

The entire fleet, including Grimm who arrived just in the nick of time, head into the portal. When they arrive at their destination, they all see a beautiful purple planet in the middle of nowhere.

N64 Peppy: This is Zoness?!

Peppy: No, it isn't, you dolt! It's the Aparoid Homeworld!

Krystal: It's lovely...I never expected that.

Peppy: Wait! Its size and mass are disproportionate!

Grimm: What does that mean? ~cutscene approaches the other side of the planet - the uglier side~ No, really, what does that mean? ~cutscene about to black out~ WHAT THE **** DOES THAT- ~cutscene ends~

Back in the Briefing Room…
Peppy: Look! Over there! ~points to some random picture on the viewscreen~

Fox: How is it that we, animals, are able to speak English?

Peppy: DANG IT, Fox, suck it up and accept it!

Fox: OK, OK! Anyway, Krystal and I will head to the surface. Falco and Slippy, take to the skies. Let’s move out!

Falco: Wait…why are we moving out?

Krystal: Yes…you never did point out our objectives.

Fox: Oh, yeah. We need to take out these hatchers on this base, right? And then we gotta get through that tunnel thing, right? Right? Right? Ri- ~is hit by giant hammer~

Back on this Aparoid platform thing…

Fox and his team are attacking the platform.

Falco: Let’s invade this homeworld already!

Krystal: To destroy the shield generator, we have to destroy all the hatchers, yes?

Peppy: Let’s hurry up and destroy them!

Grimm: ~snaps his fingers, causing N64 Falco to spawn~

N64 Falco: Something’s wrong with the G-Diffuser! ~crashes into hatcher~

Fox: Target destro- ~is slightly gunned by Grimm~

Grimm: Quit hogging all the credit!

Peppy: If you’re interested in finishing this mission, then there are 3 hatchers le…~sees all the hatchers destroyed~

Grimm: Done!

The whole team (except Grimm): O_O

Suddenly, the shield comes up, proving Krystal’s theory wrong.

Falco: I can’t believe this! ~shoots the shield~

N64 Falco: Something’s wrong with the G-Diffuser! ~crashes into shield to no effect~

Falco: No way! Not even my crashing clone can break through it!

Peppy: Out of the way, everybody! ~flies into the scene with The Great Fox~

Falco: Frickin’ killjoy…

Back in the Great Fox…

ROB64: I like pie.

Peppy: Who cares?! Divert all power to weapons!

The Great Fox fires its weapons at a platform and then another platform before crashing into the shield.

Peppy: What are you fools still doing here?! The shield will be back up any second!

General Pepper: That’s what I tell ‘em all the time! You fools!

ROB64: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

Peppy: Too bad! We’re going out in style!

Fox: ~sighs~ Peppy’s opened a road for us. We’ve got to move on…without him!

Grimm: GASP!

Falco: Grimm, shut up. This is important.

Grimm: GASP- ~shot by Falco~

Fox: So c’mon…C’MON! Let’s MOOOOOOOVEEEEE!!!!!

Everyone flies into the opening Peppy made.

Meanwhile, in the midst of space…

The Cornerian fleet is getting its arse kicked.


Fighter pilot: ~is gunned down by an aparoid~ Wheeeeee! ~crashes into asteroid~

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 8

The Phantom Spoof by Alex Korb

Fox and the rest of his team are flying through the homeworld core.

Fox: Falco, we have uninvited guests following us.

Falco: What?!

Mario flies into the scene in a Wolfen.

Mario: It’s-a-me! Mario! ~crashes~

Fox: WTF?

Panther: ~flies in~ Excuse him. He’s- ~sees Krystal, starts flirting with her~

Leon: ~flies in~ He talks too much. Anyway, Mario was supposed to be a replacement for Wolf, who we lost track of before this battle.

Wolf: ~flies in~ I’m right here, you dolt!

Leon: If only Wolf were here to see this.

Wolf: You fool! I’m right here!

Falco: Shows what you know. He’s right there.

Wolf: SOMEONE notices!

Leon: What are you talking about? Didn’t I say we lost track of him?

Wolf: **** it, I’m right beside you!

Fox: Let’s finish this! Hit ‘em hard!

Krystal: For Peppy and everyone else!

Wolf: Do you think we’re just gonna sit here and watch you work?

Grimm: Err…maybe? ~is shot by Wolf~ I mean no.

Fox: Jeez! Is shooting someone the answer to every problem today? ~is shot by Wolf~ STOBBIT! ~shot again and again~ For the love of ****, stobbit!

Grimm: ~says this as he's dominating the Aparoids~ You know, there has to be a better way to display curse words. ~modifies a few things~ OK, Wolf, I need you to curse.

Wolf: Of course I'm not gonna curse, you mother-3@#$%ing @#$%! ...hey, WTF?

Falco: Ha! Shows what you know, you just did, you 3@#$%!

Wolf: Shut up. There's obviously something wrong with the filter.

Fox: Who cares? Let's just blow this joint!

...

Slippy: Are we there yet?

Fox: No.

...

Slippy: Now?

Fox: No.

...

Slippy: How about now?

Fox: GAH! I'll tell you when we're there, OK?!

...

Slippy: Now?

Fox: Jeez, shut up!

...

Slippy: Are we there- ~is shot down by an aparoid~ Wheeeeee! ~crashes into enemy~

Fox: THANK you!

After passing through the swirly things of death and the closing doors of doom, Fox approaches the queen.

Panther: We're approaching the grand finale, hon.

Krystal: HON!? ~guns him down~

Panther crashes and leaps out of his Wolfen and then starts staring at her Arwing. (Note: NOT a sexual joke! He's staring at her Arwing, as in the ship she's flying.) Krystal becomes even more offended and nova-bombs Panther, who disintegrates.

Leon: That'll shut him up.

Slippy: Enemy signals coming up! F-Fox!

Leon: Hey, wait...I thought you were dead!

Slippy: I thought you were dead, too!

Leon + Slippy: ~blink themselves to death, pondering this~

Wolf: We'll distract 'em! Leon! ...Err, little bits of Panther! Let's go!

Wolf flies into the fray while Leon is still pondering.

Wolf: Leon, you're not dead, OK?!

Leon: Oh. ~helps out Wolf~

Wolf: Hey, you dumb bugs! Catch us if you can!

Suddenly, all the enemies asplode.

Fox: Alright, time to confront the queen!

They fly off and Slippy asplodes out of sheer force of will.

Fin.

Star Fox Assaulted 9

The Final Sequel By Alex Korb

Fox, Slippy, Falco, Krystal, & Grimm all find themselves at the Aparoid Queen.

Grimm: Back again, Slippy?

Slippy: ~asplodes~

Pigma (Queen): Fox…Give up…

General Pepper (Queen): Star Fox team. Accept defeat, you fools...

Peppy (Queen): This is not sacrifice…this is evolution…

Falco: Pfah.

CATS (Queen): All your base are belong to us…

Grimm: What you say!

James McCloud (Queen): Fox…I don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore.

Falco: Don’t listen to it, Fox; you know your dad is-

Fox: I KNOW! My father…my father would NEVER tell me to give up!

FLASHBACK…

Wolf: Don’t hesitate! When the time comes, just act!

...KCABHSALF

FLASHBACK...

Grimm: I hate flashbacks.

...KCABHSALF

Fox: Team, let's give the queen her present!

Queen: ~morphinates~

Falco: WTH?

Queen: ~finishes morphinating, has uber armor~

Krystal: We can't get the self-destruct program through that armor...

Grimm: You have a real knack for stating the obvious, don't you?

Krystal: Oh, quiet you.

Suddenly, the N64 Star Wolf team appears out of nowhere.

N64 Wolf: Don't get too cocky, Star Fox!

The Gamecube Star Wolf flies into the fray.

N64 Leon: 1 r t3h ub3rz0rs! L0l!

Gamecube Leon: Pfah. That's nothing.

N64 Leon: u b3 t3h suxx0rs!

Gamecube Leon: Is that so? 411 y0Ur G4(V)3 r 13101\1G 70 u$!

N64 Leon: O_O...~kneels and worships him (as if he could)~

Gamecube Wolf: I think you're lost.

N64 Wolf: ~looks at his surroundings~ ...I agree.

Gamecube Wolf: Star Fox 64 is 2 games back. G'day.

N64 Wolf: Good day. ~he and his team fly off~

Wolf: Errm...with that being dealt with, I have to get back to distracting those ugly alien-type things that should have been dead by now. Catch ya later.

Wolf's team flies back into the place with the ugly alien-type things that should have been dead by now.

ROB64 (Queen): Chances of Star Fox team success...zero.

Falco: Never tell me the odds.

ROB64 (Queen): Chances of Falco quoting Han Solo again...one-hundred.

Falco: Never tell me the odds.

ROB64 (Queen): See? I told you so. This is why everyone listens to the odds! This is why...~Grimm presses a Smart-Alek alarm and he burns in (Bob's beepers)~

Text Block'd/10.

CATS (Queen): There is no way to survive make your time.

Falco: Geez, I'm getting tired of this! Fox, finish it already!

Fox: ~fires the Self-Destruct program into the queen, thus exposing the...thingy~

Thingy: ALL FOR US. EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE WAS CREATED FOR US.

Fox: Is it working?

Krystal: I think so, but the queen is suppressing it!

Slippy: Oh no!

Falco: Oh no!

Fox: Oh no!

Kool-aid man: OH YEAH!!!!! ~realizes that he's out of place and quietly walks away~

Slippy: Fox!

Falco: Falco!

Krystal: Fox!

Grimm: Fox!

Fox: Let's go get that Queen!

Falco: Jeez, Slippy! Make up your mind!

Slippy: ~asplodes~

They all fly into the pit of mass Queenage, whereas they start firing at the thingy. Suddenly, Andross appears on the monitor.

Andross: I've been waiting for you, Star Fox.

Fox: Cut the crap, Andross. We just want to destroy the Aparoid Queen.

Andross: You know I control the entire galaxy.

Fox: Andross…

Andross: It is foolish to come against me.

Fox: ANDROSS…

Andross: You will die, just like your-

Fox: ANDROSS!

Suddenly, Andross appears with a gloat. The thingy finds itself inside Andross’s mouth…but only after his mouth closes and swallows it.

Fox: Yay! The queen is dead!

Krystal: You’re a hero, Andross!

Andross: No I’m not!

Grimm: Yes you are.

Andross: No I’m not!

Slippy: Yes you are.

Andross: No I’m not!

Falco: Yes you are.

Andross: No I’m not!

Kool-aid man: OH YEAH!!!!! ~realizing that this is the wrong time and place to be bursting out of nowhere, he quietly walks away~

Fox: Errm…before any more randomness pops out of nowhere, let’s evacuate.

Falco: Slippy, you’re either alive or you’re dead. Make up your @$&% mind.

They all do so. After they have gotten a reasonable distance away, the planet asplodes. There, they find something familiar…

Peppy: Whoo! That was hairy! I tell you, I really AM gonna retire after this!

Slippy: It’s Peppy! Woohoo- ~asplodes~

Krystal: Come now, Grimm, you can’t say you’re not happy with Peppy’s…err…resurrection?

Grimm: Oh, what the (Bob’s beepers). Yay. There. Happy?

Fox: …What’s up, Peppy?

Falco: Hey, uh, say it ain't so, buddy...you knew about this!

Slippy: Fox knew- ~asplodes~

Falco: So that explains why you’re so calm.

Krystal: But what of...

Fox: General Pepper? He’s alive, too. And Wolf’s team.

Grimm: Good. I have a bone to pick with them.

Fox: Team…

Falco: Please kill Slippy.

Slippy: And make sure he doesn’t come back! …OH NO WAIT ~asplodes~

Krystal: Yes, Fox?

Grimm: Give me a moment, I need to-

Peppy: Hmm. What now, hmm?

Fox: My friends…thank you.

With that, the three (or four, in this case) make a jump to hyperspace, but this knocks Grimm in another direction, making him jump to hyperspace in that direction.

Grimm: WheeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeee!!!!!!!!

THE END

I wanted a cameo...

Oh well.(gives this fanfic the following badges)

Frogslayer: For killing Slippy repeatedly.
Bronze through Mithril: Coolness points.
N64: DO A BARREL ROLL!
Star Wolf: For making better use of them than Namco did.
Zealot: For being a Protoss.
Rain Now Hates You: For not cameoing him.
Harner Now Hates You: Likewise.
Skyli Now REALLY Hates You: Ditto.

Lol, Thanks!

Alright, the bonus mission, including cameos.

Star Fox Assaulted - the Bonus Mission

The team (except for Slippy) is in the Briefing Room.

Peppy: Slippy's gone missing! We've tracked him to Fichina.

ROB64: A huge wave of Andross's soldiers have landed on Fichina. Three battlefield commanders are there as well.

Fox: Wait...why isn't he crazy anymore?

Peppy: Beltino fixed him.

Fox: Oh, OK. Well, to ensure safety, we need to attack via Arwing. That way, we can avoid any worries about being swarmed from the ground. Let's move!

After everyone has left, ROB64 starts acting up.

ROB64: ~sparkitysparkityspark~ I like cookies.

Fichina, Climate Control Center, 57:00

Fox: Alright, everyone! Move in!

All ships boost and start nova-bombing the enemy until 3/4 the enemy is dead.

Krystal: ~sees three silhouettes approaching~ Wait...who are they?

Rain: HA! You have no chance now!

Harner: We'll blast you out of the sky!

Skyli: Har! No escape now, phools!

Falco: Punks.

Rain: PUNKS?! We'll show you punks! SCYTHE!

Harner: KATANA!

Skyli: WIND!

???: By your powers combined, I am KYLE KATARN! ~starts using Force Chain Lightning on everyone~

It all looks bleak until suddenly, LucasArts asplodes, thus causing Kyle to cease to exist. (Note: I do not really want that to happen to LucasArts because Star Wars is cool.:D :green: )

Everyone: YAY!

Rain: You killed him...

Harner: How could you do that?!

Skyli: YOU WILL PAY WITH ONE OF YOUR OWN!

Suddenly, Slippy appears out of nowhere.

Slippy: Hiya guys!

Skyli uses gust attack to blow Slippy into Rain's path. Then, Harner uses throwing axes to disable Slippy's G-diffuser so he can't go anywhere.

Slippy: Fox! Get the enemy behind me! ~oblivious to the fact that there's no one behind him~

Finally, Rain slices Slippy in half with his doomish critical scythe.

Slippy: Wheeeeee! ~crashes and burns~

Peppy: Well, there are such things as acceptable losses, if you catch my drift. Finish 'em.

They all nova-bomb them into outer space.

Rain: Mark my words, Protoss, I WILL get you! You will pay for making me- ~asplodes instead of turning into some stupid star~ YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT TOO!

MISSION OWNED

Badges earned: Friendship Badge, Death to Frogkind badge, Cameo Badge, Bronze Badge, Sliver Badge, Gold Badge, Platinum Badge, Adamantine Badge, Mithral Badge

Fox: All ships are home! At last, we're free of Slippy!

Slippy: ~reappears somehow~ Hiya guys!

Falco: Oh hell.

Fin.

BTW, did you notice that from Chapter 5 to the end, General Pepper starts saying "You fools!" or "You fool!" ALL the time?