The Star Wars Spoof/Fanfic Thread (Because there's nowhere else to put it. XD)

Yes, this thread has to do with Star Wars. Forgive me if this seems off-topic, but this subforum is quite frankly another whole forum. I didn't want to put it in Rune's Pub; otherwise, it would look useless, which it isn't. I saw plenty of unrelated stuff in the guest area, so I thought this would be a good place to put this, too. So yeah, let me explain this concept to you.

This post is for all Star Wars-related spoofs, fanfics, etc. If you have a fanfic that you want R&R'd or have a funny-as-heck spoof you want to share with the rest of us, send 'em down here. Also, feel free to R&R other fanfics and spoofs. May the force be with you!

I have a spoof of me own here.

Skywalker

Hoth, Rebel Base, 11:00 A.M.

To the left of the Rebel Base, a rebel speeder bike speeds into a mountain (purely on purpose, of course). To the right, rebel snowspeeders are successfully repelling an AT-AT. Meanwhile, a stormtrooper (Shockus Soldierus) finds himself at the rebel shield generator.

Stormtrooper: Hmm...I wonder what this button does? ~presses button on a nearby console~

KABOOM

I think you know what happens next - the shield generator blows up.

Rebel: Noooo!

Meanwhile, inside the rebel base, Darth Vader walks the icy corridors.

Darth Vader: Soon, that ship of Solo's will be mine.

A stormtrooper by the name of Stormy the Trooper approaches Vader.

Stormy the Trooper: Excuse me, Lord Vader, but shouldn't you be going after Luke?

Vader: Luke who?

Stormy: Luke Skywalk-

Vader: THAT NAME HOLDS NO MEANING TO ME.

Stormy: Yes, I know that, Lord Vader. ~clears throat~ Well, anyway, ~he pulls out a stand and puts some slides on it~ There's this guy named Luke whatsisface...

Vader: Skywalker?

Stormy: Yes, Skywalk-

Vader: THAT NAME HOLDS NO MEANING TO ME.

Stormy: But you said it yourself.

Vader: No I didn't.

Stormy: Yes you did.

Vader: Nuh-uh.

Stormy: Yeah-huh.

Vader: Nuh-uh.

Stormy: Yeah-huh.

Vader: Nuh-uh.
Stormy: Yeah-huh.
Vader: Nuh-uh.
Stormy: Yeah-huh.
Vader: Nuh-uh.
Stormy: Yeah-huh.

A rebel trooper comes nearby.

Rebel: Hey, look! A stormtroo- ~is shot by Stormy~ AAAUUUGH!!!

Stormy: That's Stormy the Troo- AAAUUUGH!!!! to you, buddy boy!

Vader: Anyway, what are you trying to show me with these slides?

Stormy: Oh, right. There's this guy named Luke who wants to free the galaxy from the Empire's grip by becoming a Jedi...

:tup: (Note: These smilies represent the slides that Stormy is pulling up)

Stormy: ...now, the Emperor doesn't like Jedi, so what you need to do, and it would be a good idea to do this before the Emperor tells you this, is battle Luke...

:duel:

Stormy: ...and turn him to the dark side...

:twisted: - Join me, Mr. Anders-I, I mean, uh, Luke!

Stormy: ...or else the Emperor will deliver onto you terrible pain!

:insta:

Stormy: Any questions, Lord Vader?

Vader: How did you learn all of this?

Stormy: Errm...well, it's a long story...

Vader starts force-choking Stormy.

Vader: TELL ME.

Stormy: It's...hard...to do so...with you...choking me...my lord!

Vader sighs and releases him.

Stormy: Well, um...it all began with...Hey, look! Is that Luke over there?

Vader: ~turns in opposite~ Where?!

Stormy shoots Vader with his E-11 Blaster Rifle a few times and he dies.

Vader: Well, that was a very random ending.

Stormy: Quite.

Fin.

But Vader isnt supposed to die!! Luke saves him! :(

Oh! Right! Well...erm...I'm going to...uh...Hey, look! It's Darth Vader!

~shoots him while he's looking the other way (not really)~

The spoof itself doesn't follow a saga, and it's not a part of the Star Wars script despite the fact that it has to do with Star Wars. Vader doesn't actually die, as you pointed out, but also, a stormtrooper didn't press a button to blow up the Shield Generator; the Blizzard 1, piloted by General Veers, fires at it and blows it up. So basically, I spoofed the script of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, hence the term 'spoof'. Anything that happens in the spoof doesn't happen in the actual trilogy.

yes, of course i realized that! :P

A new spoof I managed to create.

Battle Droids

Endor, 5:00 P.M.

6 Trade Federation Assassin Droids are hunting Ewoks on the moon of Endor: PWN-666 (obviously the leader), LUK-777 (The...uh...lucky one), ZEL-329, TRR-653, MSC-234, and AGT-007 (Thinks he's the hero). So you know, all 6 of them are carrying sniper rifles. These assassin droids witness a spectacular battle between an AT-ST and 3 ewoks.

ZEL-329: Blimey!

TRR-653: Yeh, what an incredible sight.

PWN-666: Don't forget, we'll be shooting those ewoks pretty soon.

MSC-234: Aw, but they look so cute and furry...

AGT-007: Fear not, my brethren, for I, AGT-007, will save the furry creatures from certain death!

PWN: ~shmacks him~ What the douse are you thinking!? We're trying to SHOOT them!

MSC: Aw, but they look so cute and furry...

AGT: Fear not, my brethren, for ~in PWN's mind~ Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

PWN: AGT, MSC, shut up. We're shooting ewoks and that's that.

LUK: Yeh, I'm getting bloody tired of this.

The three duos (WTF?) move closer when they hear a rumbling sound - an AT-ST falling to the ground. This causes a leaf to fall and get crammed into MSC's eye thingie, the one all battle droids have, as is portrayed by this badly-drawn one.

Attachment 12

MSC: ~starts malfunctioning~ I'VE BEEN WORK'N ON THE RAIIILLROAD, ALL THE LIL' LONG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRR: SHUT HIM UP!

AGT: Of course. It would be my honor to smite the-

Before AGT can finish, PWN has shot MSC.

PWN: Blasted leaves. Blasted eye things. Of course, without those, we couldn't see. You! ~points to ZEL~ Carry MSC around because I said so.

ZEL: Yeh, alright. ~picks up MSC~ Garn, this one's heavy.

TRR: This blasted gun is heavy!

PWN: Quit complaining. We have ewoks to kill.

And so the 6...or 5, in this case...went off to kill their fair share of ewok. In a few moments' time, they finally find one.

ZEL: Aww, he's so cute!

Ewok: Wicka wicka wicka wicka...~inspecting ZEL~

PWN: Bloody SHOOT HIM ALREADY!

AGT: Of course, your lordship! I shall do as you-

PWN: Take five, AGT. I'll get it done. ~shoots the ewok~

Ewok: Wheeeeeeeaaah! ~flinches~

ZEL: Aww, PWN! You shot 'im in the stomach!

The ewok takes out a horn and plays it, thus alerting other ewoks to the droids' presence.

TRR: Garn!

PWN: FIRE!

The droids fire on the ewoks. ZEL finds it very hard to aim as he has an unsubconsious droid on his back. Suddenly, the ewoks dogpile on the said droid, but the combined strength of TRR and ZEL pull him back into the fray. Suddenly, the ewoks dogpile on ZEL.

ZEL: Nooooo! Blasted furbags! Everything...going...black...too...furry...

TRR: ZEL!!!

ZEL: It's too late for me...save yourselves...~crushed under the weight of the ewoks~

TRR is eventually pulled under the ewok dogpile and destroyed, too. The remaining 3 or 4 are in full retreat. Suddenly, MSC-234 reactivates, goes somewhere that looks like a stage to him, and starts singing.

MSC: JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!! OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAY! JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE-

Suddenly, MSC is gunned down by an AT-ST.

Imperial Officer: Shut up!

AGT: I'll save you! ~shoots an ewok~ I did it! ~30 or so spears are thrown into his metallic carcass~

LUK: It looks like this is the end, buddy boy!

PWN: It's been a pleasure hunting with you, my boy!

Suddenly, a Lambda Shuttle lands and picks them up in just enough time to escape. Inside the shuttle, two stormtroopers approach PWN and LUK.

Stormtrooper: You'll be brought back to the Death Star where you'll be interrogated.

PWN: I don't know whether to thank you or to kill you.

Stormtrooper 2: Kill us with what?

PWN and LUK find that they don't have their sniper rifles, but instead take out two blaster pistols.

Stormtrooper: Oh heck.

The two droids quickly dispose of their opponents.

PWN: Quickly! We're going to Mustafar!

The two of them fly off to Mustafar in the Lambda shuttle.

A few moments later...

They're there.

PWN: Welcome to MUSTAFAR!!!

...............

LUK: Well, this sucks.

Fin.

My turn!

Random Nameless Fight Above Kashyyyk-CIS VS Republic.

Inside Republic Command Ship...

Alpha 111: MOVE OUT!

Pi 3.14: OBJECTION!

Alpha: Shut up. I'm the commander,and I say MOVE OUT!

Pi: I vote we frag this commander!

Alpha: Whatever you say commander.

Pi: Oh cool! Yay-(thermal detonators get shoved down his throat)

Alpha: Now then. MOVE OUT!

In the droid ship...

Droids: ATTACK. ATTACK. ROGER ROGER.

Unit 123: Who's Roger?(ignore'd)No,who's Roger?(still)WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS ROGER-(shut down for defiance)

Unit 1337: I'm bored. (flies into republic ship)Hi guys.(draws laser rifle,shoots Beta in the head)

Beta: BLOODY MURDER-(dead)

Gamma: He killed Beta! CHARGE-(shot)

Mu,Nu,Delta,Epsilon: FOR THE REPUBLI-(bazooka'd)

Alpha: Morons.(takes off in starfighter and begins gunning everyone down)

Unit 789: Look out for tha-(slams into torpedo and explodes)

Unit 987: MY TWIN-(is distracted,slams into ship)

Unit 666: I-(body explodes)

Satan:BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

Alpha: Aw shut up.(magically gets out of ship,pulls out demon launcher,shoots Satan)

Satan: WTF HAX-(blown back under)

Unit 1337: (has obtained the Elite Rifle)This is boring.(dispatching various soldiers)

Alpha: (has obtained a secret laser for his ship)This is boring.(dispatching various ships)

Sadly,neither wins. The objective was to take the main ship's systems offline. Being too busy killing people,it never happens.

Pi: Well this stinks!(jumps out airlock randomly)

No one cared about Pi...

ROTFLMFAO!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Battle 'o Hoth

Hoth, 1138:00

Three Redneck rebels see an Imperial AT-AT Walker approaching the base.

Billy: Whoah! What in the hell is dat!?

Bob: Looks like one 'o dem walker critters!

Joe: Which one was dat 'gain? The...uh...AT-EH or some'n?

Suddenly, a snowspeeder carrying a pwnage bomb flies over them and delivers the bomb onto the AT-AT, thus destroying it.

Snowspeeder Pilot: YES- ~crashes into the same AT-AT which respawned~

Meanwhile, at the Echo Base Hangar, another snowspeeder launches with another pwnage bomb, but is caught in a traffic jam of several other snowspeeders, each with their own pwnage bomb.

Snowspeeder Pilot: ~honks horn~ C'MON, I GOT SOMETHING TO BLOW UP HERE! ~honk honk~ BY THE EMPEROR'S BLACK BONES, MOVE IT!

The one in front suddenly boosts (but nobody follows after him) and drops his pwnage bomb on the AT-AT. It then crashes into the same AT-AT which respawned. The next one in front boosts and repeats the same process.

So if you don't understand, it's kind of like this.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 AT-AT

7 boosts, obviously in front.
7 drops the pwnage bomb onto the AT-AT. The AT-AT blows up and respawns.
7 crashes into the same AT-AT.
6 boosts and repeats the same process that 7 did.
5 repeats the same process that 6 did, and so on.

OK, moving on, some random rebel is riding a Tauntaun near the Imperial Command Post.

Rebel: Look at me, y'all. I'm riding a rather useless Tauntaun for no reason at all. Is that kewl or what?

Suddenly, both the rebel and the Tauntaun are blown up by a rocket fired by an Imperial Shock Trooper. Meanwhile, back at the Echo Base Hangar...

Random Rebel 1: Look! I finished my story! I finished my story!

Random Rebel 2: I don't have time for it.

Random Rebel 1: Awww.

The Rebel's story is more or less parts of the Star Wars books ripped off. It kind of goes like this:

Back on Dagobah
Darth Vader
flew into the Death Star and
cut off
Luke's lightsaber
in Mos Eisley
Han Solo, captain of the
X-wing
fell into the Sarlaac pit and
picked up the Emperor and threw him off the
TIE Fighter

The Ed

As you can see, it's pretty random. Back on the Battlefront, Luke Skywalker has just spawned and makes a mad dash for the AT-AT, attempting to saber it to death. Before he can even reach it, it blasts him with its particle cannons, at which point he blows up.

Moving on, a TIE Bomber flies into the chaos and bombs a single rebel.

Rebel: ~stares at the bombs~ Cooooool- ~is blown to smithereens~

Darth Vader suddenly spawns and uses his superb speed (lol) to get to the shield generator. A snail speeds past him.

General Veers: ~in the AT-AT~Perhaps you could move a bit faster, m'lord?

Darth Vader: Perhaps.

Darth Vader uses his force speed to bolt to the shield generator, at which point he speeds halfway through it.

General Veers: The Shield Generator is in range, m'lord. Commencing attack.

Darth Vader: NO WAIT DON'T-

Veers fires the AT-AT weapons at the shield generator, blowing it up and taking Lord Vader's life with it.

AT-AT Pilot: ~busy setting up a trap to kill Veers~ Perhaps Lord Vader was in that shield generator?

General Veers: Yes, yes...I must inform Lord Vader of our success.

General Veers attempts to walk off and steps on a panel on the ground that triggers a trap. The panel releases some steam which causes the smoke alarm to go off, thus raising a noise-powered generator to reach maximum power levels thus activating the fan which blows a toy boat into a button (by now, General Veers has already walked off) which causes a hoverpad carrying the boat to move to the left and trigger the activation of a small turret next to it which fires and would hit Veers.

Pilot: Blast! The turret needs to be stronger.

The Pilot makes a few adjustments to the turret, even though it had nothing to do with it.

Thanks to all the chaos that happened here today, the Empire and the Alliance suffered a stalemate.

Fin.

Space Battle over Kashyyyk,take two.

(same starting until they launch)

In the clone ship...

Zeta 999: Sir! Unknown warp signature detected!

Alpha: Let me see...Star Fox? WTF is that?

(as Alpha is talking,4 Arwings fly out into the fray)

Fox: Let's go! All ships attack formation!

Slippy: Your carcass is mine!

All the ships suddenly stop,then turn towards Slippy.

Clones: Truce?

Droids: Roger roger.

Slippy: Eh...heh...meep...FOX! GET THESE GUYS OFF ME!

All the clones and droids are chasing Slippy and shooting him...and are yet unable to kill him despite their 1000+ hits on him.

Falco: Wow. You guys suck.(nova bombs Slippy)

Slippy: I'm monkey food if I don't leave-Whoa! Something's wrong with the G-Diffuser!

Falco: THAT'S MY LINE YOU (bleep) (bleep)!(is so angry,JUMPS out of arwing,somehow lands in a gunship,throws pilot out,shoots up Slippy some more)

Slippy: (crashlands on Kashyyyk where mutant monkeys eat him)

Fox: You ****in killed Slippy!

Falco: So? He always needed help.

Fox: BUT I NEED THE LIFEBAR HE DISPLAYS ON BOSSES!

Falco: Not my problem.

Clones+Droids: Shut up now.(focus fire Falco's less durable Arwing that he magically warped in)

Falco: OH ****!

Peppy: DO A BARREL ROLL!

Falco: Oh fine.(barrel rolls)

7 Clones: (lasers bounce off arwing and blow up their ships)

Falco: W00T!(keeps barrel rolling)

Krystal: Why haven't I been mentioned yet-(is erased from this blooper)

Droids: (send those buzz droids to attack the Great Fox)

Fox: PEPPY! DO A BARREL ROLL DAMMIT!

Peppy: (doesn't,crashes and blows up both cruisers. The explosion throws Fox into a wormhole. As for Falco?)

Falco: (still barrel rolling) THIS PWNS!(hits a small speck of rock,explodes)

Alpha(who still breathes somehow):...WTF just happened?

End.

ROFL! We could put these on Gametalk and get a few laughs out of an audience.

Quick! Post My Pw!

Come on Trog! Please!

I know you like to see me suffer. This is a little too extreme though.

what time is it right now?

6:25 PM in Eastern time.

Please post my PW. No one can impersonate me.

Random Battle in Asteroid Field: Clones VS CIS

Alpha: Ok-

Pi: IT'S TIME FOR A L-L-L-LAWSUIT!

Delta(who is playing Phoenix Wright:Ace Attorney): DAMN YOU PI! NOW THIS GAME WILL BE LINKED TO YU-GI-OH FOREVER IN MY MIND! (shoves a rocket up Pi's wahoo)

Pi's Lawyer: I'll be going now-(shot in the back of the head)

Unit 1337: I'm baaaaaack!(shoots up random troopers and droids...then hits Delta's DS,breaking it)

Delta: YOU...DAMN...YEARGHBLEBLEBLEBLE!(draws a chainsaw,dashes at 1337)

Unit 1337: I'M TOO 1337 FOR THIS!

Unit 910: (plays a Switch card from Pokemon and swaps 1337 with 666,who is torn to shreds)

Delta: ALL MUST DIE!!!!!!!!(punches droid gunship so hard it explodes,killing all nearby droids)

Epsilon: You notice card game references Zeta?

Zeta: Yeah,but it's not like some weird monster is gonna warp in and kill me right?

Delsaber: Wrong.(lops off Zeta's head)

Epsilon: ****!(runs away,slams into Dark Belra)

Belra: Hi.(crushes Epsilon with both arms)

In the command center...

Gamma: SIR! Enemy monsters have teleported in and are destroying the place!

Alpha: You do realize,being the bearer of bad news,it is your civic duty to be executed right?

Gamma: I thought that was for peacetime-(is shoved out of the ship onto a wing,somehow still alive)HOLY HELL I LIVE!(slips,falls off wing,endlessly falls into space)

Alpha: (steals Pi's Yu-Gi-Oh deck,places random monsters everywhere)

On the droid ship...

Unit 678: WTF-(a Golem from Xenosaga smacks his head off as random Gnosis start besieging the ship)

Unit 1337: Too 1337. (flies off)

Units 565, 414, 892, 763, 182, 666(again): (are killed by a Kobold,a Bugbear,a Gremlin,a Goblin,a Cerberus,and a zerg rush respectively)

Eventually both ships are taken over and explode.

Alpha:...what just happened?

Sarda: I was bored.

LOL! Even though I have no idea what Xenosaga is, it's still funny.

A day in the life of Kyle

Space Mygeeto, 146:00

Kyle (ARC Trooper like one on my sig on board Republic Cruiser): Jeez! Stop making up made-up times that are made up!

Sigh...well, look, I need to get this story going, so if you'll excuse me...

It all starts out in the hangar. Kyle is just about to move for a V-wing when he sees two clones fighting over a Jedi Starfighter.

Tau 327: It's mine!

Zeta 481: No, it's mine!

Tau: Mine!

Zeta: Mine!

Tau: Mine!

Zeta: Mine!

Hoping to settle this feud, Kyle blows up the Jedi Starfighter but STILL sees the two clones fighting over it, oblivious to the fact that he blew it up.

Kyle: Sigh... ~gets in the V-wing and takes off~

Afterwards, Kyle is instantly swarmed by Droid Starfighters.

Kyle: WTF H4X

Captain Crap: Don't worry, Kyle. I'm sending one of our best pilots to cover you.

An ARC-170 flies out of the hangar of the Republic Cruiser, piloted by a guy named Bob.

Bob: Wheee! This is fun! ~randomly flying around and is hit with a proton torpedo~ I'm OK! ~asplodes~

Kyle:...

Captain Crap: What?

Kyle: You said that was one of your best pilots!

Captain Crap: I lied.

Kyle: DAMMIT, Captain, I'm gonna come in there and kick your ***!

Shortly after being massacred to near-asplosion by Droid Starfighters, Kyle lands in the Republic Cruiser hangar only to be surrounded by clone marines.

Kyle: Uh...oh yeah! I forgot about the rebellion part. ~blows up 3/4 the clones~

The Clones open fire but somehow, Kyle manages to slow time and perform a Matrix-dodge.

Two Clones: ~turn to each other, having no real idea how he did it, then shrug and keep firing~

Kyle made it to the bridge where he encountered the captain's elite guard. They adjust their weapons...and play Bb on their trombones, thus killing Kyle. And that, my friends, is the end of Kyle.

Captain Crap: Well, that sucked!

Fin.

Tau: Mine!

Zeta: Mine!

Pi: Hey Alpha?

Alpha: If it's stupid,you're a dead clone.

Pi: Who would win: A army of Wookiees or a army of Klingons?

Alpha: What's a Klingon? Anyways, I think Wookiees.

Random Klingon: WHAT?! We'll fight to prove that we're better!

(battle on Kashyyyk starts between Wookiee and Klingon)

Clones+Droids: (are watching with popcorn) Doesn't matter who wins,the real winner is us.

(random Klingon suicide bombs a Wookiee outpost, which retaliates with a guided rocket to theirs,blowing up Pi,who was in the line of fire)

:D :D :D

Star Trek vs. Star Wars vs. Star Fox vs. Star Wolf vs. ...uh...what else starts with Star besides Stargate?

Captain Jean Luc Picard: ~is in the Enterprise E~ Captain's log, stardate 6.5373683268948954894804378954784784493437945-

Suddenly, an Imperial Star Destroyer falls out of hyperspace and hails the Enterprise E.

Grand Admiral Flaw (A spoof on the name Grand Admiral Thrawn): This is Grand Admiral Flaw. Please state your business.

Captain Picard: Fire Phasers!

Suddenly, the two ships are torn between a battle as the Enterprise E fires and has no real effect on the Star Destroyer.

Crewman: Well, that was stupid! Anyone would know that phasers have no effect on Star Destroyers!

The Star Destroyer fires all of its weapons next and it nearly knocks the Enterprise's shields out.

Crewman: Good job, doofus! Thanks to you...

Worf: ~puts a filter in at the last minute~

Crewman: ...we're scr-

Random Klingon: SAYING THAT WORD WILL INSULT THE HONOR OF THE KLINGON EMPIRE.

Worf: ~sees that his filter was never used~ Works for me.

Suddenly, from out of the blue...

Peppy: Do a barrel roll!

Everyone on Enterprise E: Awwwww!

Crewman: I was expecting a miracle!

Picard: Photon Torpedoes, full spread!

The Enterprise E fires Photon Torpedoes in a random direction and thus it does nothing. Grand Admiral Flaw, annoyed by Peppy, orders the ship to fire at him. However, amazingly, Peppy does a barrel roll (for once) and all the turbolasers and concussion missiles are directed back at the Star Destroyer. Big Asplosion happens. (Lol, I really could have worded that better, but I didn't - you'll see why soon enough)

Everyone: Yay!

(Insert forgotten joke here)

As the smoke clears, it seems the Star Destroyer was not harmed after all.

Grand Admiral Flaw: HA! That was just special effects, stoopid!

Crewman: Then where did all the pretty stuff go?

Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere...

Star Wolf: Our engines have been upgraded to support maximum speed! Now NOTHING can hit us!

Suddenly, the entire team is hit by the photon torpedoes and all the stuff that would have normally hit the Star Destroyer. Everyone flies into the distance and asplode rather than turn into some stupid star.

Back in The Middle of Nowhere, Space...

Protoss119, watching from his skybox hidden in the void, is bored to death and puts in a bunch of Star Destroyers, Mon Calamari Cruisers, a Super Star Destroyer and a Star Defender (a.k.a. Big Mon Calamari Ship). They fight. Meanwhile, Toss flings the Enterprise onto Planet Bob (a la Serverama) which has been suffering an infestation of specks. They encounter both Kakashi and Boba Fett which then attack.

Kakashi: ~throws sai at Picard's arm, but the sai hits a speck and thus disables the speck~

Boba Fett: ~fires jet pack rocket, but the rocket hits a speck and asplodes~

Crewman: Well, listen...can't we just-

Picard starts firing his phaser at Boba Fett, which has no effect.

Crewman: JEEZ! Are you prolonged to kill everything!

Hours later, at Toss's battle...

The rebels won, order was restored in the galaxy and...blah blah blah.

Fin.

Pi's Many Deaths in 1 Day:

1: TK'd by Alpha
2: Jolt of stupidity while flying
3: Jumped off a cliff to run from a ladybug
4: Squished by falling tank
5: Warped into the sun
6: Struck by lightning
7: Peppy plowed into him via Arwing
8: Blown up by land mine
9: TK'd by Alpha again
10: Kamakazied into ship
11: Grenade shoved down his throat
12: TK'd by Alpha one more time
13: Shot by Satan's Demon Launcher

Obi-Wan and Anakin rush into the Geonosian Hangar Bay in Episode II where they confront Count Dooku.

Obi-Wan: Okay, we'll take him together.

Dooku unleashes a bolt of Force Lightning.

Anakin: Hey, that's Christopher Lee- OMG FORCE LIGHTNING! ~zap'd~

Obi-Wan: I'm gonna lose, aren't I?

Dooku: Yep.

Obi-Wan shrugs and they both charge at each other...in slo-mo. The words "Blatant Matrix Rip-off" flash on screen before the scene returns to normal speed and they fight...'n stuff...yeah...so they're fighting...and...they're still fighting, and...ooh! Wanna play Star Wars: Battlefront while they're- oh, wait, Obi-Wan lost, nevermind. Anyway, as Count Dooku moves in for the kill, Anakin, asleep since he's bored, is bludgeoned in the back by a machine and slams into him. As they get up, Saruman appears.

Anakin: OMG It's Saruman! Hey wait...you're Christopher Lee too.

Saruman and Dooku stand parallel to each other, perplexed; is it possible? Is there really not one, but TWO Christopher Lees? The mind wobbles...of course, then that scene in particular is deleted.

Meanwhile, in the middle of Geonosis, Yoda is doing battle with approximately 1138 Agent Smiths just like Neo did. Figuring he'd lose if he didn't pull out a lightsaber soon, he does so.

Smith #23: Can't do it without some help- ~saber'd~ OMG! THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!

Smith #69: ~saber'd~ I CAN'T FEEL MY SPINE!

Smith #32: ~saber'd~ That didn't feel so bad...~sees that he had no legs~...I was wrong!

Smith #666: ~implodes before he can be saber'd and is replaced by Satan~

Satan: Muahahahaha-

Alpha comes by and Satan gets Demon Launcher'd.

Satan: WTF HAX

Of course, Alpha can't take 2 steps without getting smith'd, so...

Alpha: You!

Smith: Yes, me. ~turns him into a smith~ Me, me, me...

Alpha/Smith: Me too.

Yoda: Mmm. Belong to the Wachowski brothers, that scene does!

Hugo Weaving: I don't like how my character's getting killed. ~implodes Yoda~

Alpha/Smith: So I've been thinking: All those clones get spiffy white armor, and all we get are these tuxedos! Can't the Wachowski brothers give us something more impervious?

Suddenly, the Smiths appear in evil-looking body armor.

Smith: THAT'S why.

Meanwhile, in the hangar...

Saruman has been erased from existence in the Star Wars universe. Anakin is fighting with Count Dooku.

Obi-Wan: Anakin! ~tosses him a lightsaber~

Anakin: But I don't have dual-wielding feats!

As such, Anakin gets a -6 and -10 penalty to attack rolls in his main and off hands respectively. Dooku beats him and cuts off his arm.

Anakin: OW DANGIT! Wasn't the force supposed to be with me?!

Count Dooku: Haven't you heard? The force is on vacation. He can't be with you ATM.

Anakin: Dammit!

Yoda comes in.

Dooku: Ah, master Yoda.

Yoda: Quick, we must make this duel! Coming after me, the smiths are!

Yoda activates his ninja skillz.

Dooku: Oh shit. Ninja skillz. Only one thing to do. ~divides by 0~

Oh shi- ~black hole'd~

Miraculously, Yoda uses the force to shrink the black hole to 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch decreasing its mass in the process and thus causing objects to not get sucked into it. Unfortunately, Count Dooku escapes in time for Padme and some clones to appear.

Obi-Wan: What the heck just happened?

Fin.

Smith: Mr. Yodason! Welcome back! We missed you!