I am now taking over this pub.

*swaps places with JYAP*
*a swarm of Xritra suicide ships appear behind Toss' fleet and destroy everything in a massive explosion*

~jumps to hyperspace at the last second~

~has installed an Ion Cannon on Rune's pub~

~If the Ion Cannon fires, whatever it hits will be disabled~

~meanwhile, reinforcements of 30 Corellian Corvettes, 30 Corellian Gunships, and 2 Mon Calamari Cruisers replace his ravaged fleet destroyed by the suicide ships~

There's no law saying the Rebel Alliance can't have big fleets like these, either. And even if there was, the Rebels would just break it anyway.

(reswaps places just as the giant hits)
(fires Ion Cannon at Toss's fleet)
(then calls for a Slippystrike)
(1000 Slippys charge towards Toss's fleet and tear it apart)

~diverts all power to engines, barely escaping the Ion Cannon~

~takes control of a Hypervelocity gun, firing it at the Slippys~

~one hits and the splash damage kills all the Slippys~

~maintains orbital position over Rune's Pub, ruling by fear of his massive fleet~

*giant misses*
*swaps the giant with JYAP, kicks JYAP really hard*
*swaps places with giant*
*bomb hidden on Toss' ship explodes, sending him carreening through space along with the shattered remnants of his vessel*
*fires Ion Cannon at thread*

~switches places with hapless crewman aboard a Corellian Gunship which he nominates as his flagship~

~thread is disabled while Toss and his fleet still rules the pub by ph33r~

(according to Warcraft,you can't miss unless you're either cursed or the opponent has evasion)
(Monk still gets pwned)
(Rain is teleported onto Toss's ship and starts kicking butt)
(did I mention he's packing 40 levels and one hell of a scythe?)

~switches places with yet another hapless crewman aboard another ship, putting two elite rebel marines onto his ship which beat the crap out of Rain~

~continues to rule the pub by ph33r~

(Rain: Immune to getting the crap beaten out of him)
(Rain smite the two marines,then warps to Toss and decapitates him before he does anything)

~0.0000000000000001 seconds before Rain arrives, Toss teleports to the ground with an elite squad of rebels which capture the pub~

Terrorist:JIHAD! ~shoots Rain's immunities and stuff, destroying them~

~the ship that Rain is on self-destructs, killing Rain~

I win.

*Toss teleports next to the giant and the bloody pulp that is JYAP's remains*
*giant makes Toss go squish*

~teleports Slippy in place of himself, coming back home to the pub~

~the fleet shoots the crap out of the Giant as Toss ordered them to fire at the eyes and blow them up~

Protoss119- 2 Felonious Monk- 0

Pfft. Like you could hold a candle to my Greatness. That's right, capital 'G'.

*turns Toss' fleet into drunken, belligerent frat boys, who overrun the pub and dole out atomic wedgies to everyone in it of Sophomore rank or lower*

~throws shield in the way of Felonious's spell thingy~

~burns capital G with candle~

HAR! That's three. Even if you did turn my fleet into frat boys, I'd just bring in another. And another. And another. And another.

Protoss119- 3 Felonious Monk- 0

(Rain respawns on the fleet generator,rather pissed off)
(the generator asplodes)
(Toss's entire fleet of fleets defects and blows up Toss and Monk)

*shield turns into a belligerent frat boy and beats up Toss for his lunch money*
*swaps numbers*

Protoss119- 0 Felonious Monk- 3

*trying to figure out how to use the word 'fleet' causes JYAP to have a catastrophic brain aneurysm, killing him instantly*

(me trying to figure out how to use the word fleet killed Monk)

~me trying to figure out how the Frat Boys served me for eternity kills both JYAP and Monk~

Protoss119- 4 Felonious Monk- 0 JYAP- 1337

*is immune to mind and death effects*
*the internet community attacks Toss for daring to use the dark language, even in a facetious manner*
*they likewise kill the Darth Vader in Toss' sig, only they enjoy it more because he actually means it*
*JYAP... is still dead until further notice*

How DARE you!

~defects to the Empire, sends millions of Stormtroopers to kill off the internet community and he personally captures and tortures Felonious Monk~

EDIT: 500th Post!

*Rebels defeat Empire, Monk escapes to start a business where people can shoot ewoks out of a cannon into space... for a price*
*runs out of ewoks, resorts to dumping salt on gungans*

~as Felonious never mentioned HOW the rebels defeated the Empire, the Empire comes back, landing the 501st legion as well as Hell's Hammers to mow down the Rebels~

~captures Felonious and puts him into an inescapable/indestructable Iron Maiden, complete with Gravity Well Generator immune to Monk's powers to keep Monk from teleporting out~

I win.

*clone explodes, throwing shrapnel and spikes into Toss*
*Gravity Well Generator is unharmed and sucks Toss into it*
*shrapnel and spikes get sucked in too, poking more holes in Toss*
*the impact causes the Gravity Well Generator to malfunction, forming a small black hole out of the generator, scrap metal, and Toss' corpse*
*the intense gravity of the black hole prevents anything within its Schwarzschild radius from escaping*

Felonious Monk, you misunderstood how a Gravity Well Generator works. It keeps anything from warping into Hyperspace. Of course, I have altered it to keep anything from moving magically, etc. meaning you can only move physically which you cannot do since you are stuck in an Iron Maiden. Enjoy pain and suffering now.

~this causes Felonious's head to explode in a bloody mess as well as all of his clones~

~it also causes a tear in time and space that sucks up all opposition, including Monk and JYAP~

~rules the Pub through fear~

I win.

And you, Protoss119, misunderstand what a gravity well is. A gravity well (even a simulated one) is a time-space distortion typically caused by a massive body such as a planet or star. Any gravity well has an intrinsic escape velocity determined by an imaginary term known as its "depth". An object propelled outward from the source of a gravity well at a velocity below that required to escape its gravitational pull is sucked back in. I stand by my post. You are now part of a small black hole with no chance of ever escaping, even if you somehow survived.

I win.

You know what? Screw this.

~escapes, relentlessly resisting Monk's theory and destroying it, sending him into, oddly, the pub~

~Imperial Star Destroyers circle the pub and destroy it~

I win. Everyone else loses.

Wow. This went downhill.
(with pub gone,Toss's fleet disperses)
(my Reincarnation skill got bugged and triggered a half hour later)
(reconstructs pub)
(officially making pub mine)
GG NO RE
(Monk asplodes at the sound of those words and loses all skills restoring him)
(Zerg Rushes Monk's remaining assets just to be sure)

...We could relax, and begin the task of maintaining an Empire rather than building one. -Random 501st member

~convinced that Monk's evil was abolished, sends the fleet to orbit the pub and give JYAP cover~

*becomes one with the pub*

We are pub. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

*absorbs JYAP then begins attacking Toss' fleet*

I'm undead you nitwit.
(is immune to assimilation)
(instead,Monk is forced out into a random sheep)

Stormtrooper: It's Monk himself! Get him!

~Imperial Star Destroyers pound the hell out of Monk followed by the march of a thousand AT-STs trampling him resulting in his death~

*being forced out of the pub rips it in twain, destroying everything nearby in a ginormous cataclysm*
*watches with interest from the Far Realm*

Well damn.

~builds Pub v. 1.03 and waits quietly for JYAP to take the throne~

(takes throne)
(meanwhile,Monk is catapulted into a DoTA game against Halfwingseen)
(he's dead,Jim)

*brings the madness of the Elder Gods with me, driving everything on this plane to insanity*

(God sees the Elder Gods trying to invade his world)
(smites the crap out of them)

~Emperor Palpatine orders the Death Star to fire at one of the Elder Gods, permanently eliminating him~

~Boba Fett assassinates another Elder God, permanently eliminating him as well~

~the rest, of course, are smote by God himself~

The Elder Gods stayed home, only the rampant, incurable insanity made the trip.

*Emperor Palpatine and Boba Fett are driven to lunacy, decimating civilizations while on their madness bender*

~Emperor Palpatine dies due to insanity~

~With Emperor Palpatine dead, takes control of the Empire as the next emperor~

Boba Fett: Immune to insanity. (the kind of insanity that would make you get sent to an insane asylum)

(still has dominion over pub)
(tears off Boba's head)