The part that goes in between the last two:DEATH...
Narrators are for squares!
(Cue picture of a battlefield. The sky is red with blood,there are mangled bodies everywhere,and there's screaming.)
(pan camera to Harner with a bloody katana)
Harner:And that concludes our demonstration of how to dispose of annoying FFTAers. Any questions?
Random FE Guy:Yeah. How do you dispose of idiots from IGN?
Harner:Good question. (gives another demonstration)
(repeat above description)
Harner:And that concludes that demonstration. Any more questions?
Peasant:Help help! I'm being repressed!(STAB)
Harpy:I know!(STAB)
Grunt:Stop poking me!(STAB)
SCV:GET ME OUTTA HERE!(STAB)
Acolyte:My life for Aiur...Err,I mean,Ner'zhul.(STAB)
Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-(STABx1000)
Pac-man:Wakka wakka wakka-(STAB)
S.S. Dolphin:I'm gold and shiny!(STAB)
Verant Official:I-(PWNINATED'D)
Mystic Official:But-(BURNINATED'D)
Blizzard Official:-(SMITE'D)
Idiotic Yu-Gi-Oh Fanatic:YU-(STABBITY DEATH)
(all is silent...until...)
At Bodom's rebuilt citadel...
Bodom:(lifts a glass of wine to his evilness)
Everyone:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!(Bodom's glass shatters,and a brick falls on the wine rack)
Harner:What?
Everyone:(launches into a flurry of whining how the server is down,how they wanna play EB,how all noobs must die,etc.)
Harner:Why me?
Part 9:Shifters are evil...
Narrators? Nah,we're all out.
At Wal-Mart...
(Harner,Wandera,and Jade are going shopping. Actually,just Jade. Harner and Wandera got blackmailed into coming.)
Jade:(is undecided between two different shirts)Ooooooooh! This one or this one?
Harner:Do I have to?
Jade:Do you want over 1,000,000 people to see your secret?
Harner: :-(
(On the other side of the store...Yes,it has another entry you dope!)
(Bodom,Theodin,and the perfact cleric's female rogue(referred here as Rogue)enter...under the same conditions as the first group)
Rogue:Oooooooooh,shirts! Come on guys,let's go!
Jade:(has finally decided on a shirt...cept Rogue wants it)No! It's mine!
Rogue:Mine!
Jade:Mine!
Rogue:Mine!
Jade:Attack my minions!
Rogue:What she said!
Harner+Theodin:(weren't planning on fighting and left thier weapons and shields behind)
Wandera+Bodom:(didn't memorize spells beforehand,and Wandera's shoulder is sore)
Jade+Rogue:Don't just stand there! Do something or I'll tell your secrets!
Harner:(shrugs,as if saying oh well,then socks Theodin one...sadly,they did remember to bring thier armor)OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Bodom:(starts looking around the nearby Sporting Goods isle,finds a baseball bat,and moves to clobber Harner with it)
Wandera:(found the beer bottles and hurls a few at Bodom,stopping him short)
Theodin:(tackles Wandera,but is smashed by Bodom's bat,now wielded by Harner)
Harner:(clocks Bodom on the way to Sporting Goods,tosses Wandera dual tennis rackets,then dashes to the guns section,but trips thanks to Bodom)
Theodin:(drinks a few beer bottles,gets REAL drunk,starts throwing anything nearby at Wandera...including Bodom)
Bodom:(smacks me for making him the victim of so many attacks,then snags a golf club and whacks Harner where it counts...and where he has no armor not expecting that sort of attack)
Harner:(pretty much curses out Bodom in 20 different languages,then finds a conviently placed pitching machine,puts it on Hyper Fast,and watches Bodom get beaten back by all the balls)
Wandera:(really needs more HP...and a way to keep Theodin at bay,cause he's not doing so well deflecting all the bottles...for those of you keeping score,it's 30-Love ATM,with Theodin having won a set)
Harner:(finally makes it to the guns...only to discover,IT'S PLEXIGLASS!)Hmmm...
Theodin:(is nearby,and easily provoked in his state of drunkenness)
Harner:Hey,shorty!
Theodin:WHUT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!(charge s at Harner)
Harner:(sidesteps,allowing Theodin to crash into the glass)Ole!(retrieves a rifle,gives Bodom payback where it counts)
Bodom:X_X
Theodin:@_@
(alas,the fight was for nothing,because the shirt was torn between the two ladies)
Harner+Wandera after seeing this: :-x
Jade:DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(goes into Dragon form(Harner:But she's level 18!),mauls Rogue viciously)Ok,I'm fine,let's go back.
But just as they're about to go back...
Jade:GASP! WHAT A CUTE HAT!
Other group containing 2 guys and a gal:MINE!
Harner+Wandera:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!
(to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies' end song)
Now it's time to say goodbye to Harner and all his friends
His friends would like to thank you for stopping in
Y'all come back next day to this forumity
And have a heapin helpin of our insanity!
Chaos,that is.
Stuff blowing up.
Writing wills.
Y'all come back now,ya hear?
Part 11:The dawn of a sub-series...
Harner:Everyone,we have a new member.
Draco:I'm Draco.
Everyone:Hi Draco!
Draco:Ever since-oh wait,this isn't Alcoholics Anomynous. So,how do things go around here?
Harner: :devil:
(before Harner carries out his evil plan,a rip in the space-time continum shoves several video game characters out violently)
Peppy Hare:Do a barrel roll!
Jade:Ummm...no.
Ellador:I fear nothing!
Draco:(polymorphs to Dragon)
Ellador:AHHHH!(runs like a little girl)
CATS:All your base are belong to us.
Wandera:-_-;;;
Ma Chao:I am the sword of justice!
Harner:Ummm,Ma Chao,that's a spear...
Minos:Gather the troops-oh look,elven scum.
Wandera:WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?
Minos:(overtakes Ellador running away)
Karel:It will rain blood...
1,000,000 Peasants:You're the king? Well,I didn't vote for you!
Karel:(fulfills his prophecy the obvious way)
Arthas:Frostmourne hungers.
Harner:YOU KILLED ILLIDAN! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!
(Arthas runs,then trips,and suffers stabbity death)
Tymothi:Fight for justice...fists of fury! Repeating Fist!
Kirby:Hiiiii!(is hit by every fist)POYO!(sucks up Tymothi,swallows,gets samurai-ish red armor)Poyo!
Rahu III:Scanning...404:Custom Robo enviroment not found.
Jade:O_o?
Link,Spawn and Heihachi:(all see each other,and brawl over which one is better in SC2)
X:Charge Shot...
Draco:(puts a cork in X's X Buster)
X:NOW!(BOOM! X goes flying into the wall)
Bass:CRESCENT KICK!(flip kicks Heihachi into the spiked ceiling)
Master Chief:I-
Every Nintendo Character:GET HIM!
(Master Chief is hit by Kikuichimoni,several Arwings,a Nova Strike,4 criticals,Link's bombs,a CRESCENT KICK,and alot of Wyrm shots)
Black Mage:I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!
Draco:(makes use of the Black Mage Shield kit nearby)
Serind Tylner:(through some freakish accident,is ported into here...and googles at all the tech)
Gandalf:YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Jade:(walks by Gandalf)
Metroids:(enters)
Samus:(starts freezing and missling them)THERE CAN ONLY BE NONE!
Harner:So,what are we-(ducks under a airborne Spawn as he flies into the lava pit)-gonna do with everyone here?
Serind:Play Survivor:Base?
Harner:Genius! Organize the teams!
Team Slicey:
Ellador
Minos
Gandalf
Tymothi
Arthas
Karel
Ma Chao
Link
Team Blasty:
Black Mage
CATS
Rahu III
X
Bass
Kirby
Peppy Hare
Samus
Serind:The game will begin right after JYAP posts again!
Draco:Wow,what a first day.
Draco=Dragoniser.
Dragoniser=Fine PvPer IMO.
Dragoniser=In.
Do the math. Now,chores are attacking. I'll be back...with weapons!
Part 14:Don't you hate hijackers?
I have returned.
(normally this dragoon would be toast...)
Serind:Because JYAP is not gonna type over 20 seperate logs,all the challenges will be in 1 day. DEAL WITH IT!
Slicey
Without Minos around,everyone gets along better. Ma Chao finally convinces Gandalf that Sauron holds no influence here,and they make a decent shelter. Tymothi's alliance settles that if they lose the challenge they vote off Gandalf. Arthas,however,seems to have different plans...
At a undisclosed location...
Arthas:Is everyone here?
Ellador:Present.
Ma Chao:Ready.
Gandalf:What is this all about?
Arthas:Tymothi,Link,and Karel are conspiring to vote you off.
Gandalf:Why?
Arthas:They think you're annoying with all this talk about Sauron.
Gandalf:Then why are you siding with me?
Arthas:Because I believe that you may prove useful to us.
Ellador:Enough talk. Who shall we vote for?
Arthas:Tymothi is too well-liked around here...how bout Karel? It'd seem natural.
Ma Chao:Very well.
Blasty
Not much happening. They don't even have a alliance at all. How dull. Oh,and Rahu III carved out another shelter.
Challenge time!
Serind:Today's challenge is a physical one. You must kill as many dragoons as you possibly can. Anything's legal. You go when I say go. Go.
Black Mage:Bolt-2!
12 Dragoons:(explode from the zappidy death)
Ellador:I FEAR NOTHING! (leaps into the air,CRUSHES 7 dragoons)
Gandalf:YOU SHALL NOT PASS!(unleashes uber lightbeaminess upon 20 dragoons)
Black Mage:(is ticked at Gandalf showing him up,Flares 24 dragoons)
Gandalf:(sics Gwaihir on 30 dragoons)
Black Mage:(Hadokens Gandalf,AND 40 dragoons)
Link:(takes out a small bomb,throws it in the middle of a few dragoons)
99 Dragoons:(go up in a mushroom cloud explodsion)
Kirby:(is blown away again and says hello to Mister Helicopter)
Black Mage:(suicidally tries to stab away at Karel)
Karel:(goes on a criticalling spree,takes out Black Mage,CATS,Bass,Samus,and X)
Peppy:Don't give up! Trust your instincts!
Rahu III:(blows Peppy up out of instinct,then blows self up)
Serind:I guess Slicey wins. Your reward:100 dollars! I'll see Blasty at Tribal Council.
Tribal Council.
Serind:Welcome to-ah,forget it. Just vote.
Black Mage:(writes CATS)You do nothing and you repeat the same thing over and over.
CATS:(writes Black Mage)All your base are belong to us.
(several more votes are put in)
Serind:I'll go tally the votes. (comes back)...3 votes Black Mage...
Black Mage:WHAT?!?
Serind:...5 votes CATS. The tribe has spoken.
CATS:(leaves)
CATS' thoughts:All your base are belong to us.
Part 15:Serind's Luck Stat:-6
Next Day(does it really matter?!?)
Blasty
Black Mage:WHO VOTED FOR ME?!? WHEN I FIND THEM,THEY WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEE-(is silenced by Serind)
Serind:Good Lord,he's annoying.
All was NOT peaceful at Blasty's camp. Black Mage went into 24 stabbing frenzys,all directed at someone. Rahu III,Samus,Bass,and X had the luxury of body armor...
Peppy:Don't give up! Trust your instincts!(STABBITY!)
Kirby:(is blown away again)
Serind:I just love that fan I use to blow him away.
Slicey
Same old,same old. Darn it,I need something to make it interesting!
Challenge time!
Serind:Today's challenge is...A PUZZLE! You'll need to find all the pieces scattered on the island and put the puzzle back together. The catch? I used 2 1,000 piece puzzles! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh,you're playing for immunity and another fridge. Go.
(Despite Serind's best efforts to be evil,he didn't hide the pieces well. I'm not going to elaborate,but let's just say Karel,Gandalf,Samus,and Rahu III were the main puzzle finders. Eventually...)
Serind:Darn,I knew I should've kept a puzzle piece. Errr...Blasty's winning!
Black Mage:.....(silence wears off)...HADOKEN!(blows Serind into a low-flying plane with Kirby on it)DOUBLE SCORE!
Sugnus Kedwyr:(appears in a flash)Did someone call for a substitute host?
Black Mage:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Blasty eventually wins by 50 pieces)
Sugnus:Blasty wins. Slicey,tribal council.
Blasty
Black Mage:(goes in shelter)When does our reward arrive?
Fridge:(falls on shelter)
Tribal Council
Sugnus:You know the drill.
Tymothi's Alliance minus Arthas:(writes Gandalf)SHUT UP WITH SAURON!
Arthas' Alliance:(writes Karel)See ya you bloodthirsy swordmaster!
Sugnus:Tally time.........3 votes Gandalf(Tymothi is in confusion).....4 votes Karel(Tymothi is even more confused). The tribe has spoken,get out of here before I use my Pale Master arm.
Karel's thoughts:It will rain blood...dwarven blood...
I'm rather annoyed at the lack of feedback I'm getting. I'm not typing anymore till you guys tell me what you think of all my stories.