I am now taking over this pub.

Exactly, dammit.

~TIE Bombers fly as high as they can and drop bombs on the Photon Cannons~

(1337 AA system fires lasers at the bombs .000001 seconds after releasing)

~TIE Bombers move in for suicide into the 1337 AA thing~

(the lead bomber is shot,which explodes and kills the others near him,which kills the others near them...)

~the scraps hit the AA turret & discombobulate it~

~meanwhile, more TIE bombers blow up the Photon Cannons~

(which are vaporized by Death Laser turrets)

~Death Laser turrets are bombed by the flight of a million TIE bombers~

...Did I win?

Did I win?

No.
(Protoss loses for whatever reason)

~comes back and wins again~