I am now taking over this pub.

*Rebels defeat Empire, Monk escapes to start a business where people can shoot ewoks out of a cannon into space... for a price*
*runs out of ewoks, resorts to dumping salt on gungans*

~as Felonious never mentioned HOW the rebels defeated the Empire, the Empire comes back, landing the 501st legion as well as Hell's Hammers to mow down the Rebels~

~captures Felonious and puts him into an inescapable/indestructable Iron Maiden, complete with Gravity Well Generator immune to Monk's powers to keep Monk from teleporting out~

I win.

*clone explodes, throwing shrapnel and spikes into Toss*
*Gravity Well Generator is unharmed and sucks Toss into it*
*shrapnel and spikes get sucked in too, poking more holes in Toss*
*the impact causes the Gravity Well Generator to malfunction, forming a small black hole out of the generator, scrap metal, and Toss' corpse*
*the intense gravity of the black hole prevents anything within its Schwarzschild radius from escaping*

Felonious Monk, you misunderstood how a Gravity Well Generator works. It keeps anything from warping into Hyperspace. Of course, I have altered it to keep anything from moving magically, etc. meaning you can only move physically which you cannot do since you are stuck in an Iron Maiden. Enjoy pain and suffering now.

~this causes Felonious's head to explode in a bloody mess as well as all of his clones~

~it also causes a tear in time and space that sucks up all opposition, including Monk and JYAP~

~rules the Pub through fear~

I win.

And you, Protoss119, misunderstand what a gravity well is. A gravity well (even a simulated one) is a time-space distortion typically caused by a massive body such as a planet or star. Any gravity well has an intrinsic escape velocity determined by an imaginary term known as its "depth". An object propelled outward from the source of a gravity well at a velocity below that required to escape its gravitational pull is sucked back in. I stand by my post. You are now part of a small black hole with no chance of ever escaping, even if you somehow survived.

I win.

You know what? Screw this.

~escapes, relentlessly resisting Monk's theory and destroying it, sending him into, oddly, the pub~

~Imperial Star Destroyers circle the pub and destroy it~

I win. Everyone else loses.

Wow. This went downhill.
(with pub gone,Toss's fleet disperses)
(my Reincarnation skill got bugged and triggered a half hour later)
(reconstructs pub)
(officially making pub mine)
GG NO RE
(Monk asplodes at the sound of those words and loses all skills restoring him)
(Zerg Rushes Monk's remaining assets just to be sure)

...We could relax, and begin the task of maintaining an Empire rather than building one. -Random 501st member

~convinced that Monk's evil was abolished, sends the fleet to orbit the pub and give JYAP cover~

*becomes one with the pub*

We are pub. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

*absorbs JYAP then begins attacking Toss' fleet*

I'm undead you nitwit.
(is immune to assimilation)
(instead,Monk is forced out into a random sheep)