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The OFFICIAL Midknight Nine fanfic,by JYAP [Archive] - TrogWorld

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JYAP
12-10-2004, 03:35 AM
Me:Hi everyone! Wandera has given me permission to write a fanfic(or story for you computer illiterate)about us! Why don't you see what happens when a very imaginative-(is hit by a dictionary thrown from somewhere)OW! Ok,I'll start!

Narrator:Now,we will chronicle the stupid yet humorous adventures of the oh-so-stupid Mid-Hey wait,what are you doing with that katana?!? Wait! WAIT! AGH! MY SPLEEN!

Harner:Stupid narrator...Anyways,we got to go defeat that evil sorceror,Bodom!

Wandera:Why is he evil?

Harner:You try resisting a 36-39 Finger of Death of his. Anyways,to get to his fortress,we need to cross the Desert of Noobs,past Warrior Nation-

Droim:Why past Warrior Nation? Why not recruit them?

Harner:Uhhh...taco?

Everyone else:-_-;;;

Harner:Anyways,then we gotta go through No-Noob's Land-

Jade:No noo-OW!(gets hit with a Octagon Rod)

Harner:Shut up already! And then we have to-y'know what? Just screw it and follow me.

(In between the starting point and the desert...)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:No.

(5 minutes later)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:No!

(5 more minutes)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Harner:Yes.

Jade:Really?

Harner:NO!

(insert average intermission between these scenes here)

Jade:Are we there yet?

Everyone:NO!!!

Jade:Grrr...

Harner:Hey,we're here!

Wandera:How noobish are these noobs?

Random Noob With Two Katanas And Is A Human Rogue:YAAAAA!

(SLICE POUND WHAM KAMACLERIC'D!)

Harner:You see? Now,let's go!

(30 minutes,27 brutal katana carvings,19 concealment kills,15 fireballs,17 axe beatings via minotaur,and 30 kamacleric'd!s later...)

Everyone:(is getting really tired)

Wandera:Can't...take...anymore...

Zet(Yes,it's Borag's wizard and he is part of us):Out...of...fireballs...

Jade:I wish...this desert...was shorter...

Droim:So...hot...want...outta here...

Harner:Well why didn't you say so?(pulls out bag of holding,takes out 5 Mega Shotguns)1 for everyone!

Everyone:???

Harner:They're mega shotguns! Guaranteed frag every shot!

Wandera:You mean we could've used this to start with?

Harner:Yup.

(At Bodom's citadel)

Bodom:It's good to be evil.(holds up glass of wine,but just as he's about to drink it...)

Everyone:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

(Bodom's glass shatters)

(Back to our heroes...)

Everyone:(made it across with a record 20 shots total)

Harner:Yay! We made it across! Now to-

To be Continued!

Harner:Hey!!! Let me finish-

To be Continued!

Harner:LET ME-

Ninja:(throws Mage Masher dagger at Harner,shutting him up)

To be continued!!!

JYAP
12-10-2004, 07:56 AM
Narrator:When we last left off,the moronic Harner gave the also-stupid crew a mega shotgun. GO BODOM!

Everyone: :evil:

Narrator:AHH! NOT MY HEART! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

(Err,right. Moving on...)

Harner:Ok,now we gotta get past Warrior Nation.

Jade:When do we get there?(throwing axes fly into the crew's mega shotguns,breaking them)

Harner:Now. RUN!!!

(Everyone splits up as 5 different Warrior Nation people chase them.)

(Chase music from Scooby-Doo starts playing)

Wandera:(is chased into a dead end,but runs back,then runs up the wall and flips off it behind his chaser)

Jade:(is running...then wonders,why didn't she morph? Not long after that,a minotaur was seen mopping the floor with someone from WN...literally)

Zet:(runs by a pole,flips onto it ninjastyle,and flings fireballs at his pursuer,then jumps off and runs the other direction)

Droim:(ran into a conveniently placed House of Mirrors,and has a holiday with his concealment spells torturing the poor WN dude)

Harner:(runs until there's a stairway down,places his shield down,and uses it to surf down,then hits a switch to make the stairs a up escalator,then trips the WN guy somehow,putting him in a perpentual fall down a up escalator)

Everyone:(meets up at the exit)

Wandera:Whew...

Harner:At least we didn't run into-(CLANG)...Theodin. RUN SOME MORE!

Theodin:(closes all exits)YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Jade:Do we panic now?

Harner:Yes. WAAAAAAH!!!(runs around screaming)

Wandera:Wait. Harner,he's about your level,right?

Harner:Yeah. I just can't beat him somehow.

Wandera:...Plan D,now.

Harner:Errr...Plan D?

Droim+Zet:(fire off a relentless barrage of Bigby's Forceful Hands,Fingers of Death,and Issac's Greater Missile Storms)

Theodin:(was wearing a reflect ring)

Droim+Zet:X_X

Wandera:Oh boy. Plan S?

Harner:Plan S?

Jade:(morphs into minotaur form,then is exposed to some chemicals via Wandera to be even stronger)JADE SMASH!

Harner:Originality factor:0.

(WHACK)

Harner:Owww!

Jade:(tries to hit Theodin,but even in plate,he's too fast for sluggish blows)

Theodin:(eventually criticals with Ki Damage...5 times...in a row)

Jade:X_X

Wandera:Yup. We're dead.

Harner:How bout Plan Z?

Wandera:Plan Z?

Harner:(reaches into his bag of holding,takes out a device,pushes the button labelled FFT Mode)

Room:(morphs into a FFT battlefield)

Wandera:What does this do...and what the heck am I?

Harner:Oh,you're a white mage.

Wandera:I hate light magic!

Harner:You get the strongest spell in the game.

Wandera:Sold.

Harner:(moves behind Theodin,slashes twice with his dual Spell Edges,deals 260 damage total)Ninjas rule.

Theodin:(has turned into a Knight,and promptly uses Weapon Break on Harner...and hits)

Harner:NOO! MY SPELL EDGES! WAAAAAAAH!

Wandera:(shrugs,and charges up Holy)

Theodin:(in slow-mo,runs at Wandera,trying to stop the spell)Nooooooooo!

Wandera:(hits with Holy,deals 300+ damage)

Theodin:X_X

Harner:We won! Yay! Now-

To be continued!

Almuric,if you find this part offensive to your guild,I'll replace it with some other random guild.

Wandera
12-10-2004, 11:05 AM
Wandera: Muhahha *Laughs Evily like Mr Burns* Warrior Nation are no match?.. Swallow those sorrows Harner!

JYAP
12-10-2004, 11:12 AM
Must...think...of...good...part 3...

JYAP
12-10-2004, 11:31 AM
Narrator:When we-

Sugar-high Lancer:WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(bounces THROUGH narrator several times)

Wandera:C'mon,let's go!

Harner:What do we do with them?(points to KOed party members)

Wandera:(evil smile)

(Later,en route to No-Noob's Land...)

Harner:(is tossing bag with KOed members ahead)Wow,great plan Wandera!

Wandera:I'm full of em!

Droim+Zet+Jade:(have woken up right before being tossed)WHOA!!!

Harner:Yup,they're awake. Oh look,there's No-Noob's Land.

Wandera:Why is it No-Noob's Land?

Harner:Cause all the noobs go in,but the pros here slaughter them. Wonder how long till-(is spotted via searchlight)Oh boy.

Mr.Truck:Attack,my minions!

Wandera:What do we do?

Harner:Oh relax,they can't be-(gets surrounded)...Shoot. Uhh...let's be friends? (WHAM SOCK POW KA-TANG INSERTBEATINGHERE) X_X

Wandera:We're dead. Too bad we don't have a really powerful weapon to wipe them out with. (several weapons from The Grid start raining down) Wow. Ask and ye shall recieve. (picks up bullhorn)What's this thing do?(pulls trigger,sends random pro into a wall)

Zet:Ooooooooooh...(touches flash cannon,watches it fire,massacring whoever got in the way of it)... :twisted:

Droim:(picked up a cannon)Hmmm...(fires it,sending a huge cannonball into a guy,which is stuck on the cannonball until he slams into the wall)

Jade:Something about this seems so right.(sweeps up enemy with machine gun)

Wandera:Hey look,cash! (collects it all) Hey,what's this huge round thing with a fuse?(throws it)

DA BOMB!

Every Pro:X_X

Mr.Truck:Well...err...noob ghosts,attack!

Wandera:You gotta be kidding me. (turns them)

Harner:(wakes up)Wow,you guys totalled them.

Mr.Truck:I'll...just...sneak away now...(is hit by a random falling anvil and dies)

Harner:Well,we're outta here. Now-

To be continued!

JYAP
12-10-2004, 08:59 PM
(trips on a writer's block)
(is struck with memory loss)
(will need a day or two to restore my imagination tanks)

JYAP
12-12-2004, 09:59 AM
(the narrator doesn't get to speak before Zet's flash cannon tears through him)

Harner:There's Bodom's fortress! CHARGE!!! (charges)

Wandera:WAIT! THERE MIGHT BE-(insert traps going off here)...traps.

Harner:Ow. (has 1 hp)

Wandera:Jade,illithid form. Disable those traps.

Jade:On it!

(5 minutes later)

Jade:Done!

Harner:Now do we charge?

Wandera:There might be guards.

Guards:(jump out of nowhere with weapons)RAWR!

Harner:Oh boy. STRIKE THEM DOWN!

(Harner strikes through one guard with a dire mace,then brings his shield around to counter another,then kicks him into a kama. Wandera's pulling off flips and slashes while firing spells to disable the enemy. Jade...well,there's Minotaur Form. Droim and Zet are having a holiday Bigbying enemies then fireballing them,all while yelling MERRY CHRISTMAS!)

(10 minutes later)

Guards:Blargh! We are dead! X_X

Harner:CHARGE!!!(trips Delayed Blast Fireball)DOH!

Bodom:I shall kill you all!(Mage masher dagger falls from nowhere).........

Harner:Yay silence!

Bodom:..........(Oh well,I can still bash you down with my staff!)

Knight:(pops up,uses Weapon Break on Bodom,hits)

Bodom:...........(Uh oh...)

Wandera:So,what do we do with him?

Harner:I'll need a kukri,a dagger,a light hammer,and a Do-It-Yourself-24-Hour Torture Kit. :twisted:

(insert screams-oh wait,he's silenced)

Bodom:(eventually dies from pain)

Everyone:(levels up and starts jumping up and down)

Harner:Well,we're done here. Who's up for tacos?

SIK:Hey you,catch!(run and guns Harner)

Harner:Buzz off cheater! Ok,new mission:Get to Almuric and CD-Key ban him.

To be concluded!


Actually,SIK (logon name ACrossBetweenSeanConneryAndCookieBaker) is exploiting glitches.

Glitch 1:Run and gun,then laughing. Arrogant noob...

Glitch 2:Letting himself die to Mr.Truck (logon name XXXSPLEEP),then leaving and rejoining.

Glitch 3:Letting Mr.Truck do that to him.

Almuric,if you're reading this,ban this guy PLEASE.

JYAP
12-13-2004, 02:09 PM
No narrator for you!

Harner:Ok,right ahead-(thunk)Stop that! Right ahe-(thunk)STOP! Right-(thunk SLASH POW WHAM)GOOD LORD STOP! NOW,right ahead should be Almuric's computer. Go before the noob wakes up!

Everyone:(runs ahead,only to find...)

1 million SIKs:HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

Harner:Feel free to loot my bag of holding of anything you like. (draws a sniper rifle from Starcraft)(in Ghost-like voice)You called down the thunder,now reap the hurricane.(nukes the middle)

Wandera:(takes out the FFT field device from Part 2,uses it on self,starts casting Holy on them...but they're so packed together,he can't help but hit more than one)

Droim:(finds a very weird object)Harner,where do you get this stuff?

Harner:(after blowing off another SIK's head)Internet.

Droim:Works for me!(uses it)

Meanwhile,somewhere on-board a plane...

Deekin:Hey,Boss just sends us a signal! Let's go!

Back on the battlefield...

Droim:What does this-(a plane crashes into many SIKs,and out pops Deekin and Valen,along with many many kobolds)

Valen:Next time,I drive.

Zet:(finds his favorite flash cannon) :twisted: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!(fires like he has 10 forms of haste on him)

Jade:Hmmm...(accidently makes contact with a Mushroom,grows 20 feet bigger)... :twisted: (goes minotaur,starts crushing everyone)

At a undisclosed location...

Almuric:(has pulled up a chair and has a bowl of popcorn,and is watching the battle with Bounty Hunter) How long do you think they'll fight?

Bounty:I bet they finish in 10 minutes or less.

Almuric:You're on.

Back at the battlefield...

Harner:(has launched his 5th nuke)Don't worry! Only 250,000 more to go!

Droim:Why is there a football here?(grabs it)

Harner:...Droim,throw that NOW.

Droim:Why?

Stampede of Football-Playing Fire Emblem Characters:HE HAS THE FOOTBALL! GET HIM!

Droim:Point taken. (tosses it into the fray)

Stampede:(draw their weapons)GET HIM!(plow through a good lot of the SIKs trying to get the ball)

Wandera:Oooooooooh,shiny star...what's this button do?(pushes button on star remote)What's that sound?

Hordes of Kamakazi Kirbys on Warp Stars:BANZAI!!!(BOOM)

Zet:(is now dual wielding 2 flash cannons)

(10 minutes and 1 SECOND later)

All the SIKs:X_X

Almuric:I win.

Bounty:You didn't specify what we were betting. Therefore,you get nothing.

Almuric:(smites bounty)

Harner:Hey,there's Almuric!(tells about SIK)

Almuric:Okay,I'll ban him.(does so)

And everyone lived happily ever after!...YEAH RIGHT!

Wandera
12-13-2004, 05:13 PM
Hahah, you weren't giving off an understatement when you said you had one heck of an imagination, lol.

Very nice work JYAP, keep up the activeness, you rock!!

JYAP
12-13-2004, 07:32 PM
Sniff...no one else besides you reads this... :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

I think I'll play around with emoticons! :grin:

:shoot: :erm: :bump: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam: :spam:

Ack,Spam took over. Nuts.

Felonious Monk
12-13-2004, 08:58 PM
Not entirely true. I just wanted to wait until you were finished. Has anyone ever told you that huffing paint kills brain cells? :naughty:

JYAP
12-14-2004, 07:24 AM
:chainsaw:

That's me with the chainsaw,and the chainsawed is you. I ALWAYS win. :lol:

Felonious Monk
12-14-2004, 11:54 AM
:insta: :shoot: :chainsaw: :jump:

Why do you make me hurt you? Now get in the kitchen and make me a sammich.

PS - I thought it was pretty funny. :D

JYAP
12-14-2004, 12:19 PM
:bump: :shoot: :chainsaw: :insta: :spam: :devil: :devil: :devil: :tup:

I win. Again.

Felonious Monk
12-14-2004, 11:45 PM
:D :grin: :) :-) :( :-( :sad: :o :eek: :shock: :? 8) :cool: :lol: :x :-x :mad: :P :razz: :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow: :| :beer: :whisky: :moon: :naughty: :devil: :chainsaw: :insta: :jump: :shoot: :bump: :tsk: :rofl: :erm: :spam: :tup:


Amateur.

Wandera
12-14-2004, 11:57 PM
Well heres my input.

Rolling;
Over;
****ing;
Laughing.






*EDIT* note: Rolling on floors laughing is for babies.

JYAP
12-15-2004, 06:41 AM
:spam:
Super compressed spam!

(this was edited so people don't need to wait so long to see my updates)

Felonious Monk
12-15-2004, 05:12 PM
What you say! :eek:

JYAP
02-17-2005, 08:33 PM
Narrator:Hey look,JYAP's finally updating...HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO UPDATE! APOCALYPSE! AHHHHH-
Spriggan Army:Ready for a wee bit of fun?(STAB'D)

Harner:Hey guys,guess what? We're going on a side quest!

Jade:(triggers siren)SIDE QUEST ALERT! NO DRILL!

Everybody:(runs for cover)

Harner:I've got candy!

Everybody:(jump all over Harner for candy)

Harner:Oww...anyways,the perfact cleric(Author Note,no misspelling,that's his name)escaped to the Warlords Battlecry world. He's obviously a noob,and noobs gots to die. (opens portal)Ok,let's go.

Everybody:(jump in,but get stuck trying to get through the small portal)

Zet:(shoots fireball at ground,charboiling him but breaking the roadblock)

Everyone:(drop out of the portal in 5 different places)

Harner:Ok,our target is in the middle. Do whatever you want. (is Fey,and starts massing Spriggans)

Wandera:(ends up Knights,starts upgrading cavalry while making them)

Jade:(got the Ssrathi,giggles with glee at the dinosaurs available,and makes a army of them)

Droim:(gets bum rushed by a nearby assassin den,and is pwninated by the rigged chance of assassination)

Zet:(has the misfortune of thinking his hero is uber powerful,and without building anything,suicides into a mass of towers)

Cleric:(is The Swarm,but is so noobish,he just makes a lot of ants)

All goes smoothly until...

Cleric:(while alt-tabbing out,finds a hak pak and hacks away)

10 dragons:(pop up in his base)

Everybody:Oh poopie.

Harner:Perhaps God can help?

God:No,now go away,you're interuppting my game of Pong with Satan.

Harner:Crap,we're doomed.

Almuric:(counterhacks,makes Spriggan produce rate 2 seconds,all Knight's cavalry fully upgraded,and dinosaurs get +100 armor)

Harner:Yay!

Cleric:(hacks more,gets every titan possible)

Almuric:(hacks even more,powers up all heroes to level 500)

Cleric:(hacks up his units so they're invulnerable)

Almuric:(is annoyed,hacks into Cleric's computer...with a battle axe...)

Cleric:(gets deleted)

System:WARNING WARNING,SYSTEM ERROR. 5 MINUTES TO TOTAL ARMAGEDDON. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

Lord_of-Death(A old Warcraft III clanmate):(takes out spoon,stabs system announcer dead)

Army of Undead Narrators:(rise up)

Flying Monkeys:(fly into a volcano)

Spriggans:(start stabbing themselves)

Goths:(bring in boom box,play thier horrible music)

Virtual Reality Room:(malfunctions from all the insanity,shuts down)

Harner:Told you it can't tolerate that much insanity!

Droim+Zet:(are ashes)

Harner:...whoops.

JYAP
02-18-2005, 06:25 AM
404:Narrator Not Found

Harner:It's over Al. It's ineviable. I will be the new champion!

Almuric:No! It's not possible!

Harner:Yes!

(camera zooms out,revealing Al and Harner playing Fire Emblem. Harner has 2 units left,supporting each other. Al has Marcus.)

Harner:(has his 20/20 Matthew attack Marcus)

Battle Summary:Matthew OHKO's.

Almuric:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Harner:Told you you shouldn't have leveled Marcus.

Almuric:Grrr...I betcha I can get more kills than you can in LOTR:The Return of the King for GBA!

Harner:You're on.

Game:(is inserted. Almuric chooses Gimli. Harner chooses...Smeagol?)

Almuric:Hah! You got that itemless wimp?

Harner:(is level 20 compared to Gimli's 10)

Almuric:(selects The Black Gate on Easy)You'll never win!

Harner:(proceeds to systematically decimate everything in sight)

Summary:Harner 102,Almuric 23

Almuric:Grrr...I bet I can beat you-

Wandera:(socks Al)Give it a rest. We want a turn too!

Thus concludes this short chapter. If it offends Al in any way,I'll swap him for Jade.

JYAP
02-18-2005, 05:47 PM
Narrators are for squares!

(Cue picture of a battlefield. The sky is red with blood,there are mangled bodies everywhere,and there's screaming.)

(pan camera to Harner with a bloody katana)

Harner:And that concludes our demonstration of how to dispose of annoying FFTAers. Any questions?

Random FE Guy:Yeah. How do you dispose of idiots from IGN?

Harner:Good question. (gives another demonstration)

(repeat above description)

Harner:And that concludes that demonstration. Any more questions?

Peasant:Help help! I'm being repressed!(STAB)

Harpy:I know!(STAB)

Grunt:Stop poking me!(STAB)

SCV:GET ME OUTTA HERE!(STAB)

Acolyte:My life for Aiur...Err,I mean,Ner'zhul.(STAB)

Noob:HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-(STABx1000)

Pac-man:Wakka wakka wakka-(STAB)

S.S. Dolphin:I'm gold and shiny!(STAB)

Verant Official:I-(PWNINATED'D)

Mystic Official:But-(BURNINATED'D)

Blizzard Official:-(SMITE'D)

Idiotic Yu-Gi-Oh Fanatic:YU-(STABBITY DEATH)

(all is silent...until...)

At Bodom's rebuilt citadel...

Bodom:(lifts a glass of wine to his evilness)

Everyone:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!(Bodom's glass shatters,and a brick falls on the wine rack)

Harner:What?

Everyone:(launches into a flurry of whining how the server is down,how they wanna play EB,how all noobs must die,etc.)

Harner:Why me?

JYAP
02-19-2005, 01:14 PM
Narrators? Nah,we're all out.

At Wal-Mart...

(Harner,Wandera,and Jade are going shopping. Actually,just Jade. Harner and Wandera got blackmailed into coming.)

Jade:(is undecided between two different shirts)Ooooooooh! This one or this one?

Harner:Do I have to?

Jade:Do you want over 1,000,000 people to see your secret?

Harner: :-(

(On the other side of the store...Yes,it has another entry you dope!)

(Bodom,Theodin,and the perfact cleric's female rogue(referred here as Rogue)enter...under the same conditions as the first group)

Rogue:Oooooooooh,shirts! Come on guys,let's go!

Jade:(has finally decided on a shirt...cept Rogue wants it)No! It's mine!

Rogue:Mine!

Jade:Mine!

Rogue:Mine!

Jade:Attack my minions!

Rogue:What she said!

Harner+Theodin:(weren't planning on fighting and left thier weapons and shields behind)

Wandera+Bodom:(didn't memorize spells beforehand,and Wandera's shoulder is sore)

Jade+Rogue:Don't just stand there! Do something or I'll tell your secrets!

Harner:(shrugs,as if saying oh well,then socks Theodin one...sadly,they did remember to bring thier armor)OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Bodom:(starts looking around the nearby Sporting Goods isle,finds a baseball bat,and moves to clobber Harner with it)

Wandera:(found the beer bottles and hurls a few at Bodom,stopping him short)

Theodin:(tackles Wandera,but is smashed by Bodom's bat,now wielded by Harner)

Harner:(clocks Bodom on the way to Sporting Goods,tosses Wandera dual tennis rackets,then dashes to the guns section,but trips thanks to Bodom)

Theodin:(drinks a few beer bottles,gets REAL drunk,starts throwing anything nearby at Wandera...including Bodom)

Bodom:(smacks me for making him the victim of so many attacks,then snags a golf club and whacks Harner where it counts...and where he has no armor not expecting that sort of attack)

Harner:(pretty much curses out Bodom in 20 different languages,then finds a conviently placed pitching machine,puts it on Hyper Fast,and watches Bodom get beaten back by all the balls)

Wandera:(really needs more HP...and a way to keep Theodin at bay,cause he's not doing so well deflecting all the bottles...for those of you keeping score,it's 30-Love ATM,with Theodin having won a set)

Harner:(finally makes it to the guns...only to discover,IT'S PLEXIGLASS!)Hmmm...

Theodin:(is nearby,and easily provoked in his state of drunkenness)

Harner:Hey,shorty!

Theodin:WHUT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!(charge s at Harner)

Harner:(sidesteps,allowing Theodin to crash into the glass)Ole!(retrieves a rifle,gives Bodom payback where it counts)

Bodom:X_X

Theodin:@_@

(alas,the fight was for nothing,because the shirt was torn between the two ladies)

Harner+Wandera after seeing this: :-x

Jade:DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(goes into Dragon form(Harner:But she's level 18!),mauls Rogue viciously)Ok,I'm fine,let's go back.

But just as they're about to go back...

Jade:GASP! WHAT A CUTE HAT!

Other group containing 2 guys and a gal:MINE!

Harner+Wandera:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!

(to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies' end song)
Now it's time to say goodbye to Harner and all his friends
His friends would like to thank you for stopping in
Y'all come back next day to this forumity
And have a heapin helpin of our insanity!
Chaos,that is.
Stuff blowing up.
Writing wills.
Y'all come back now,ya hear?

JYAP
02-20-2005, 07:20 AM
EL KABONG!(CLONK!)

After the Wal-Mart incident...

Harner:(lost a few pieces of armor,is bruised everywhere)

Wandera:(will need a full-body cast if exposed to anything else painful)

Jade:(is in mint condition)

Everyone:(is in car,driving back)

Harner:Ooooooooooooh,Fighters'R'Us!

Wandera:Ooooooooooooooooh,Casters'R'Us!

Both:TAKE ME THERE OR WE'LL PULVERIZE YOU!

Jade:Don't forget the secret...(under her breath)...what was it again?

Wandera:Hah! She doesn't remember!(KOs her,takes wheel,drives to the two stores)

Meanwhile...

Bodom+Theodin:(same situation,enter opposite way)

In Fighters'R'Us...

Harner:(drools at all the 1337 looking armor available,takes best suit)

Theodin:(ditto)

Speaker:Sale on Keen Weapons. 1 left.

Harner+Theodin: :shock: (both dash)

Weapon:(is a polymorphing weapon that changes to the favored weapon you have)

Both:MINE! NO,IT'S MINE! MINE!!!

Harner:(doesn't find any katanas)CURSE YOU NON-EXOTIC WEAPONS!(makes do with a longsword)

Theodin:(can't find his favored weapon either and goes for a greataxe)

WAR!

Harner:(pokes Theodin hard)

Theodin:(whacks Harner with the side of the axe)

Harner:(snags another longsword,starts attacking like a whirlwind)

Theodin:(kicks one sword out of his hand,shoves Harner back)

Harner:(falls into the rapier rack)OWWWWWWWWWW!!!(takes one,starts searching for weak spots on Theodin's armor...and thrusts it where it counts)

Theodin:(yells so loud,a chunk of the building falls on him)X_X

Harner:I win!(takes weapon)

Cashier:That'll be $150,000.

Harner: :shock: (pays)

At the other store...

Speaker:Sale on Slot-Boosting Items.

(you oughta know what happens)

Wandera+Bodom:(got their spells back)

Wandera:(casts Death Ward right off the bat)

Bodom:(PHAILS at a Finger)

Wandera:(smacks Bodom with Word of Faith)

Bodom:(uber buffed beforehand,it eats spell mantle)

Wandera:(lays waste to spell mantle using Searing Lights and Negative Energy Bursts)

Bodom:(begins to cast Bigby's Forceful Hand)

Kirby:Hiiiiiii!

Concentration:Failure. DC 999

Wandera:(shoots Bodom with Destruction)

Fortitude Save VS Death(Pwned)1+1=Fish DC 2

Wandera levels up. Cue the FFT level up music and Wandera jumping up and down.

Wandera:Yay!(snags double kamas allowing him to use 3 more 9th level spells a kama)

Cashier:That'll be $200,000.

Wandera: :eek: (pays)

Harner:Ok,let's go. (shoves Jade in the back,drives)

Kirby:Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!(Translate to,"REPLY OR DIE!")

JYAP
02-20-2005, 07:32 AM
To comment on JYAP's sudden updates,the GNAT(Generic Narrators Are Troublesome)would like to send this message: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
This concludes our message.

(shortly after this,a WM with a katana and red spiky armor was reported trashing the GNAT building)

Edit By Almuric: Please dont abuse the smilies like that again. I like for the database to stay stable. :D

My Edit Comment:...whoops. :oops:

JYAP
02-21-2005, 05:48 PM
Harner:Everyone,we have a new member.

Draco:I'm Draco.

Everyone:Hi Draco!

Draco:Ever since-oh wait,this isn't Alcoholics Anomynous. So,how do things go around here?

Harner: :devil:

(before Harner carries out his evil plan,a rip in the space-time continum shoves several video game characters out violently)

Peppy Hare:Do a barrel roll!

Jade:Ummm...no.

Ellador:I fear nothing!

Draco:(polymorphs to Dragon)

Ellador:AHHHH!(runs like a little girl)

CATS:All your base are belong to us.

Wandera:-_-;;;

Ma Chao:I am the sword of justice!

Harner:Ummm,Ma Chao,that's a spear...

Minos:Gather the troops-oh look,elven scum.

Wandera:WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?

Minos:(overtakes Ellador running away)

Karel:It will rain blood...

1,000,000 Peasants:You're the king? Well,I didn't vote for you!

Karel:(fulfills his prophecy the obvious way)

Arthas:Frostmourne hungers.

Harner:YOU KILLED ILLIDAN! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!

(Arthas runs,then trips,and suffers stabbity death)

Tymothi:Fight for justice...fists of fury! Repeating Fist!

Kirby:Hiiiii!(is hit by every fist)POYO!(sucks up Tymothi,swallows,gets samurai-ish red armor)Poyo!

Rahu III:Scanning...404:Custom Robo enviroment not found.

Jade:O_o?

Link,Spawn and Heihachi:(all see each other,and brawl over which one is better in SC2)

X:Charge Shot...

Draco:(puts a cork in X's X Buster)

X:NOW!(BOOM! X goes flying into the wall)

Bass:CRESCENT KICK!(flip kicks Heihachi into the spiked ceiling)

Master Chief:I-

Every Nintendo Character:GET HIM!

(Master Chief is hit by Kikuichimoni,several Arwings,a Nova Strike,4 criticals,Link's bombs,a CRESCENT KICK,and alot of Wyrm shots)

Black Mage:I AM THE BLACK MAGE! I CASTS THE SPELLS THAT MAKES THE PEOPLES FALL DOWN!

Draco:(makes use of the Black Mage Shield kit nearby)

Serind Tylner:(through some freakish accident,is ported into here...and googles at all the tech)

Gandalf:YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Jade:(walks by Gandalf)

Metroids:(enters)

Samus:(starts freezing and missling them)THERE CAN ONLY BE NONE!

Harner:So,what are we-(ducks under a airborne Spawn as he flies into the lava pit)-gonna do with everyone here?

Serind:Play Survivor:Base?

Harner:Genius! Organize the teams!

Team Slicey:
Ellador
Minos
Gandalf
Tymothi
Arthas
Karel
Ma Chao
Link

Team Blasty:
Black Mage
CATS
Rahu III
X
Bass
Kirby
Peppy Hare
Samus

Serind:The game will begin right after JYAP posts again!

Draco:Wow,what a first day.

Draco=Dragoniser.
Dragoniser=Fine PvPer IMO.
Dragoniser=In.
Do the math. Now,chores are attacking. I'll be back...with weapons!

JYAP
02-22-2005, 05:39 PM
Serind:JYAP's back. FIRE!

Both teams:(are shot out of cannons to their starting locations inside my huge biodome)

Team Slicey:(lands in the jungle)

Team Blasty:(lands in the arctic)

Day 1:

Team Slicey...

Ellador:I say we build a White Tower posthaste!

Minos:Nonsense. We should build a Palace!

Ellador:White Tower!

Minos:Palace!

(it continues on and on)

Gandalf:I propose we create a temporary shelter to survive for 1 month from Sauron's forces.

Tymothi:Who's Sauron? Oh well,I say yay.

Link:(speaks Hylian,doofus)(agrees)

Karel:I agree...must...kill...

Serind:(shoots Karel's sword arm)No killing allies!

Karel:(is out of commission...till he uses a smuggled Vulnerary to heal self. Still,he is NOT going to be killing anytime soon)

Arthas:I agree as well.

Ma Chao:I as well!

Link:(points to the squabbling cavalry units as to what to do with them)

Tymothi:Let them be. They'll tire out.

Some time later,in a isolated area...

Tymothi:So,are we all in agreement here?

Arthas:Aye.

Karel:Yes...

Link:(nods)

Tymothi:So,if we lose the Immunity Challenge,we vote out either of the 2 morons,depending on which one is more annoying.

Karel:But what about the possibility of a enemy alliance?

Tymothi:Gandalf thinks this Sauron person is watching him,and Ellador and Minos hate each other's guts.

Arthas:What about Ma Chao?

Tymothi:Relax. What could he possibly do?

Team Blasty

Samus:Let's get a shelter up. Now.

Peppy Hare:Try a somersault!

Bass:Be quiet old man.

X:You leave him alone!

Bass:I shall do as I wish! You won't stop me Megaman!

X:...umm...that Megaman isn't me. See,I'm the much stronger one.

Bass:Prove it!

X:(shoots Bass once with a uncharged shot)

Bass:(is sent sailing into a glacier)

Black Mage:(has hopes of Red Mage actually being smart enough to know how to install a arm cannon,and inquires X about his tech)

Peppy:Do a barrel roll!

CATS:All your base are belong to us.

Peppy:Use the boost to get through!

CATS:You have no chance to survive make your time.

Kirby:(sucks up both of them,spits them out onto the ice)

Samus:So,can we get started on our shelter?

Rahu III:(mistakes Samus for its operator,obeys by blasting a shelter out of the ice via Wyrm gun)

Samus:O_O...that is handy.

(Shelter update! Team Slicey finally stopped Ellador and Minos from fighting...)

Ellador:White Tower!

Minos:Palace!

(cue Dynasty Warriors duel transition)

Ma Chao:I am the sword of justice!

Minos:(responds before Ellador)I accept your challenge!

Gandalf:(creates a arena using magic)

(GONG)

Ma Chao:(smacks down Minos with a C6 attack,then Musous)

Minos:X_X

(with Minos KOed,Ellador helps out. Turns out he's real handy carting wood back.)

(...but despite their efforts,their fortress is only 24% finished...why? Gandalf.)

Ma Chao:(finishes the last touch)

Gandalf:No no no,then Saruman's orcs will break through too easily!

(...you get the point. Team Blasty had it easy...till Kirby wanted to see what Black Mage's power was...)

Kirby:Hiiiiiiiii!(sucks up Black Mage,swallows)

Black Mage:Grrr...O_o

(Kirby has a giant yellow hat on. He has blue robes and his face is concealed)

(Kirby then shoots a Hadoken,blowing away a glacier)

(...but that's it.)

Day 2:

Both teams get mail and go to the techno area.

Serind:Today,you will be playing for your first reward challenge.

Bass:Get on with it!

Serind:(imbue arrows Bass)Anyways,you will be playing for a refridgerator full of food and soda. The challenge?

(rock music plays)

Announcer:Welcome to MXC:Most EXTREME Elimination Challenge! Tonight,we have a special game between 2 teams on Survivor:Base! And here are your hosts,Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano!

Vic:Welcome to MXC! We're going to have a very exciting game today between the-

Kenny:Hey Vic,why is it called MXC if the whole title spells MEEC?

Vic:Well,good question. It involv-And now,let's cue to Guy LeDouche.

Kenny:Hey!

Guy:Guy here,and I am wondering that too. Anyways,we will first play Sinkers and Floaters,then Window Bangers,Dope on a Rope,and then,Big Brass Balls!

(cue to Captain with contestants)

Captain:So,how many-ACK! AHH!(is stabbed 23 times by the local Black Mage)

Black Mage:What? I wanted to get it on already!

(cue overview of Sinkers and Floaters)

Vic:The objective is to get to the other side across these rocks. Some sink. If you touch the water,YOU LOSE!

Black Mage:(blows whistle)Get it on!

Vic:First up,it's Ma Chao from Team Slicey. He's a Tiger General in Liu Bei's army.

Ma Chao:(hops across 2 rocks,but on the third one,he slips,and bangs his head on the last rock. He sinks...then his helmet,cracked,floats up)

Audience:OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kenny:That deserves a Impact Replay!

(cue Ma Chao fumbling in slow mo)

Kenny:There,right at that point-(Ma Chao is about to hit)-he's thinking OH CRAP!

Vic:Next up:Bass! He's a robot made by Dr. Wily!

Bass:CRESCENT KEEK!(flip kicks into the water)

Rest of Blasty:-_-

Kenny:Here's Ellador of Slicey!

(Ellador's horse slips,and he falls off and gets smashed where it counts on a rock...then his horse lands on him)

Kenny:Next:Peppy Hare!

Peppy:(hops hops and hops more till the last rock,which sinks. He hops into the grass...AND MAKES IT!)

Vic:Now-

Karel:MUST...KILL...

(I got tired of typing that junk,so for the rest of the challenge,we're without Kenny and Vic.)

(Tymothi comes up...but his armor causes him to tumble down the starting hill and into the water.)

(CATS just trips and falls,breaking some circuitry)

(Gandalf puts his weight into his staff...and falls on the second rock from a staff falling into the water.)

(Samus space jumps,then hits a barrier,causing her to plummet)

(Arthas almost makes it,but is hit by Black Mage's pebble,slipping up and smashing his sword through his arm.)

(Kirby is hit by a gust of wind,blowing him away)

Serind:Due to Vic and Kenny's untimely death,the challenge ends now. Blasty is-wait,Black Mage killed the Captain? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Slicey wins due to Black Mage cheating!

Everyone goes back.

Ellador:So where's the fridge?

(a fridge falls...onto Gandalf's shelter)

Gandalf:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Too...tired...can't..type...any...more...

JYAP
02-22-2005, 07:27 PM
(reads a random fanfic)
(is healed to full typing ability)
(will shorten everything so I don't have to kill myself)

Day 3,before the challenge...

Slicey

Bad news for Slicey. Minos recovered,Gandalf is in a trauma,and Tymothi's alliance refuses to cooperate. Their shelter is nowhere near finishing. Right now,Ellador is whining about how he can't produce anymore Dragon Knights because he doesn't have a White Tower,Minos is whining about not having a army,Gandalf is whining about his fortress,and Tymothi's alliance is whining about all the whining. And Ma Chao? Recording it all on camera for blackmail.

Blasty

Despite the fact there's a shelter up,it's not much better. CATS and Peppy are flooding everyone's ears with their highly addictive lines,Bass is going nuckin futs over X,who is being stalked by Black Mage. Samus is busy discovering how destructive Rahu III can be,and we haven't found Kirby yet.

Challenge time!

Serind:Ok guys,you'll like this. Today's challenge...BRAWL TIME! Both teams smack each other silly till one team is out. Oh,we found Kirby too.

FLASHBACK!

Kirby:(got stuck on a helicopter blade)

END FLASHBACK!

Serind:Ready...(silences Black Mage)FIGHT!

Black Mage:(cannot Hadoken anymore,settles for trying to stab Karel...alas,Karel's avoid is waaaaay too good for BM to hit on a regular basis)

Ellador:(is too busy fighting with Minos to battle)

Ma Chao:My spear shall answer all!

Zhao Yun:(pops up,smacks Ma Chao)MY LINE!(disappears)

Peppy:Use bombs wisely!

Samus:(is reminded of that,and shoots a missile at the quarreling knights)

Minos:(is so tired of Ellador,he personally KOs him and Link(Minos:Elven scum.)to end it all faster)

Tymothi:Earth's anger running through my arms! Earth Slash!(slams ground,hitting Rahu III,Peppy,CATS,and Kirby. Kirby is sent right into the same helicopter,CATS short-circuits,Peppy tries a U-turn and phails,and Rahu III is angered beyond comparison. Wait,that's good?)

Rahu III:(unleashes the horror that is Wyrm shots,Treble bombs,Penumbra pods,and a crackshot robo upon the rest of Slicey)

X:(dusts off the rest)

Bass:(CRESCENT KEEKs Arthas for good measure)I liked Illidan!

Serind:I guess Blasty wins. Slicey,you're going to Tribal Council.

At a undisclosed location...

Slicey

Tymothi:We're going for Minos.

Everyone:RIGHT!

Tribal Council.

Serind:Welcome to Tribal Council. Here we will vote off one of your players. Start voting. NOW. Before I unleash my uber AA powers on you.

Ellador:(writes Minos)Go to hell.

Gandalf:(writes Minos)You did not support my plan of building a fortress. LEAVE.

Minos:(writes Minos)This is to see who stays on right?

Ma Chao:(writes Minos)You cost us immunity!

Tymothi's Alliance:(you know the drill)

Serind:I'll go tally the votes.(returns 5 seconds later)...Minos,get the heck off of here now.

Minos:Why?

Serind:8 votes Minos. The tribe hath spoken.

Minos:You mean you choose someone to vote OUT?

Serind:Whoops,time's up for peaceful leaving. Everyone,feel free to maul him.

Link:(shoots Minos where it counts)

Ma Chao:(smacks him off his horse)

Karel:(CRITICAL'D)

Arthas:(death coils the living snot out of him)

Tymothi:Cast down to hell with your fingers! Secret Fist!(hits,Death Sentences Minos)

Gandalf:(knocks him in the air with a light beam)

Ellador:(gets the last laugh,as his horse kicks Minos,sending him sailing to who-knows where)

Everyone:(rejoices)

Blasty

(Minos crashes into Blasty's shelter...AS THEY WERE SLEEPING! Seeing this as a assassination attempt,Blasty starts kicking butt,sending Minos out AGAIN.)

Minos' thoughts:DIE-(drops dead from Death Sentence)

JYAP
02-23-2005, 08:43 AM
I have returned.
(normally this dragoon would be toast...)

Serind:Because JYAP is not gonna type over 20 seperate logs,all the challenges will be in 1 day. DEAL WITH IT!

Slicey

Without Minos around,everyone gets along better. Ma Chao finally convinces Gandalf that Sauron holds no influence here,and they make a decent shelter. Tymothi's alliance settles that if they lose the challenge they vote off Gandalf. Arthas,however,seems to have different plans...

At a undisclosed location...

Arthas:Is everyone here?

Ellador:Present.

Ma Chao:Ready.

Gandalf:What is this all about?

Arthas:Tymothi,Link,and Karel are conspiring to vote you off.

Gandalf:Why?

Arthas:They think you're annoying with all this talk about Sauron.

Gandalf:Then why are you siding with me?

Arthas:Because I believe that you may prove useful to us.

Ellador:Enough talk. Who shall we vote for?

Arthas:Tymothi is too well-liked around here...how bout Karel? It'd seem natural.

Ma Chao:Very well.

Blasty

Not much happening. They don't even have a alliance at all. How dull. Oh,and Rahu III carved out another shelter.

Challenge time!

Serind:Today's challenge is a physical one. You must kill as many dragoons as you possibly can. Anything's legal. You go when I say go. Go.

Black Mage:Bolt-2!

12 Dragoons:(explode from the zappidy death)

Ellador:I FEAR NOTHING! (leaps into the air,CRUSHES 7 dragoons)

Gandalf:YOU SHALL NOT PASS!(unleashes uber lightbeaminess upon 20 dragoons)

Black Mage:(is ticked at Gandalf showing him up,Flares 24 dragoons)

Gandalf:(sics Gwaihir on 30 dragoons)

Black Mage:(Hadokens Gandalf,AND 40 dragoons)

Link:(takes out a small bomb,throws it in the middle of a few dragoons)

99 Dragoons:(go up in a mushroom cloud explodsion)

Kirby:(is blown away again and says hello to Mister Helicopter)

Black Mage:(suicidally tries to stab away at Karel)

Karel:(goes on a criticalling spree,takes out Black Mage,CATS,Bass,Samus,and X)

Peppy:Don't give up! Trust your instincts!

Rahu III:(blows Peppy up out of instinct,then blows self up)

Serind:I guess Slicey wins. Your reward:100 dollars! I'll see Blasty at Tribal Council.

Tribal Council.

Serind:Welcome to-ah,forget it. Just vote.

Black Mage:(writes CATS)You do nothing and you repeat the same thing over and over.

CATS:(writes Black Mage)All your base are belong to us.

(several more votes are put in)

Serind:I'll go tally the votes. (comes back)...3 votes Black Mage...

Black Mage:WHAT?!?

Serind:...5 votes CATS. The tribe has spoken.

CATS:(leaves)

CATS' thoughts:All your base are belong to us.

JYAP
02-24-2005, 05:01 AM
Next Day(does it really matter?!?)

Blasty

Black Mage:WHO VOTED FOR ME?!? WHEN I FIND THEM,THEY WILL DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEE-(is silenced by Serind)

Serind:Good Lord,he's annoying.

All was NOT peaceful at Blasty's camp. Black Mage went into 24 stabbing frenzys,all directed at someone. Rahu III,Samus,Bass,and X had the luxury of body armor...

Peppy:Don't give up! Trust your instincts!(STABBITY!)

Kirby:(is blown away again)

Serind:I just love that fan I use to blow him away.

Slicey

Same old,same old. Darn it,I need something to make it interesting!

Challenge time!

Serind:Today's challenge is...A PUZZLE! You'll need to find all the pieces scattered on the island and put the puzzle back together. The catch? I used 2 1,000 piece puzzles! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh,you're playing for immunity and another fridge. Go.

(Despite Serind's best efforts to be evil,he didn't hide the pieces well. I'm not going to elaborate,but let's just say Karel,Gandalf,Samus,and Rahu III were the main puzzle finders. Eventually...)

Serind:Darn,I knew I should've kept a puzzle piece. Errr...Blasty's winning!

Black Mage:.....(silence wears off)...HADOKEN!(blows Serind into a low-flying plane with Kirby on it)DOUBLE SCORE!

Sugnus Kedwyr:(appears in a flash)Did someone call for a substitute host?

Black Mage:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Blasty eventually wins by 50 pieces)

Sugnus:Blasty wins. Slicey,tribal council.

Blasty

Black Mage:(goes in shelter)When does our reward arrive?

Fridge:(falls on shelter)

Tribal Council

Sugnus:You know the drill.

Tymothi's Alliance minus Arthas:(writes Gandalf)SHUT UP WITH SAURON!

Arthas' Alliance:(writes Karel)See ya you bloodthirsy swordmaster!

Sugnus:Tally time.........3 votes Gandalf(Tymothi is in confusion).....4 votes Karel(Tymothi is even more confused). The tribe has spoken,get out of here before I use my Pale Master arm.

Karel's thoughts:It will rain blood...dwarven blood...

I'm rather annoyed at the lack of feedback I'm getting. I'm not typing anymore till you guys tell me what you think of all my stories.

JYAP
02-27-2005, 07:55 PM
You don't care do you?

Felonious Monk
02-27-2005, 08:49 PM
*hic* I love you man. :whisky:

Work with me, I still have a backlog of fanfic to go through and have to work on my taxes. Yay IRS!

JYAP
02-28-2005, 07:02 AM
I know you like it,but what about everyone else?

Felonious Monk
03-02-2005, 05:17 PM
Maybe no one is replying because its in a restricted forum and only a few people have access. Wandera, dragoniser, and Al are the only ones that I know of that could actually read it and none of them post very often. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen dragoniser post...

JYAP
03-02-2005, 07:18 PM
Ohhhhh...oh well. Onto the next episode!

Next Day

Slicey

Insert WTF look on Tymothi's alliance,now feeling small. Not much going on cept for that 1 incident...

Ellador:I shall find some more firewood!

Ellador's Horse:(kicks Ellador where it counts...and into the fire)

Ellador:YEOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. Anyways,at Blasty...

Black Mage:X_X

Kirby:(has tied several rocks to him to prevent blowing away)

Samus:(is having fun making Peppy run from the horror and overall cheapness of Rahu III)

Peppy:Try a somersault!

Rahu III:(somersaults onto Peppy,then blasts him with the Rahu III gun)

Bass:(pulls out every attempt to kill X)

X:(takes no damage at all)

Yeah,general chaos.

Challenge time!

Sugnus:Today-

Karel:BLOOD...

Sugnus:ACK! CURSE MY POOR HP!(is torn to ribbons)

Drago Blimfen:(pops up out of nowhere,Ice Storms Karel into the ground)Like he was saying,today,you'll be stuck in a room with your worst nightmare. You need to try to defeat him/her/it/pie. Team that wins most wins. Blasty needs to sit one out.

Black Mage:(volunteers immediately,which is good,cause he'd never be able to kill Fighter)

Drago:Go.

Ellador:(meets Minos)

Nuclear Explosion:(occurs as Minos and Ellador square off)

Rahu III:(meets Ray Legend with Wyrm gun,and Ultimate legs...which is bad,since Ray Legend's 6 air dashes can run circles around Rahu III)

Gandalf:(meets...the Balrog)

Balrog:P1-13312 (V)3!!!!!!!!1111111111111shift+1

Gandalf:(head asplodes from the 1337)

Drago:Gandalf loses. (revives him)

X:(meets Zero)Oh crap. (is pwnenized by Zero's 1337ness and uberness)

Drago:X loses.

Ellador's Horse:(kicks Minos' head off)

Drago:Ellador's Horse wins. FATALITY!

Bass:(meets Megaman)

Second Nuclear Explosion:(occurs)

Tymothi:(meets Amanda the Lancer)Err...can we talk this out?

Amanda:No chance.(jumps)

Tymothi:(can't move in time)

CRACK!

Drago:Suffice it is to say Tymothi loses...

Rahu III:(should've took a Ion gun into battle)

Ray Legend:(came,saw,and pwninated)

Drago:Rahu III loses.

Arthas:(finds Illidan)Oh pul-leaze. (kills him like last time)

Drago:Arthas wins.

Peppy:(finds Pigma Dengar)

Stupid Advice Nuclear Explosion:(occurs)

Both:(are firing off streams of useless stuff explained in any decent walkthrough)

Kirby:(swallows Meta-Knight)

Drago:Kirby wins.

Samus:(finds a horde of Space Pirates)........-________________-(takes Wave Beam,utilizes Wave Buster combo)

Drago:(records the implosions of every single pirate)Samus wins.

Peppy+Pigma:(are blabbing until...)

Falco:Geez,can't you help yourself?(flies by in Arwing,blows away Pigma)

Pigma:My beautiful reward! Aghaghagah!

Drago:Peppy wins.

Ma Chao:(finds Cao Cao...and his army...all powered up...)...crap?

Drago:Ma Chao loses.

Link:(finds Ganondorf...then everyone that participates in IFW topics on GameFAQs' SSBM social board mauls the Gerudo King)

Drago:Link wi-(Link is then mistaken for his accomplice and is torn apart by the granddaddy of IFW topic's,Mad Steve's,chainsaw)...nix that,he's down. Blasty wins. Also,since Harner's mad about him losing his game hosts,no rewards for you!

Falco:Something's wrong with the G-Diffuser!(crashes into Drago)

BOOM!

Rali Lutgenest:(gates in)Anyways,Slicey,council,now.

COUNCIL TIME LIKE OMGWTFBBQ

Rali:Just vote.

Blah blah blah,insert chatter here.

Rali:4 votes Ma Chao,2 votes Arthas. The tribe has spoken. (gates in a Balor to chase Ma Chao back)

Ma Chao's thoughts:I have no regrets!

...

...

...

Rali:Hey,where's Bass?

Bass:(is STILL fighting Megaman)

JYAP
03-04-2005, 07:44 PM
Next day

Slicey

Tymothi=Wimp
Arthas=Uber Strong
Gandalf=Very safe
Me=Need to stop using = so much.
Me=Need to scratch last one.

Nothing good happening except the duel between Tymothi and his Kikuichimonji VS Arthas and Frostmourne. Lasted until they had to go to the challenge,then Link chucked a bomb between them. Boom.

Blasty

Bass:(still fighting)

Not alot happening here either...well,X and Black Mage were MIA...but nothing else.

Challenge time!

Rali:...3 people are missing...one moment.

Megaman:(suddenly transforms into Astro Man,and runs away like the coward he is)

Bass:(returns)

X:(returns as well)

Black Mage:(traded his left arm for a Black Buster)

Everyone:O_O

Black Mage:What?

Rali:Errr...anyways,it's time for...GAMEFAQS TRIVIA! Most questions wins. Pick a member from each team to answer the question after it's asked. GO!

True or False:TheUltramind12 on the Pikmin 2 boards is a n00b.

Ellador:True.

Black Mage:False!

Answer:False. Ultramind is actually a above-par RPer with good grammar.

How many IFW topics are there currently on the SSBM social board?

Tymothi:3.

Bass:What's a IFW topic?

Answer:4. metalkirby's bites though due to bad grammar,and Smash Master's doesn't count.

True or False:Florina>Farina>Fiora.

Arthas:False.

Peppy:Use the boost to get through!

Answer:False. In many board member's opinion on the FE ones,Farina>Florina>Fiora. 1 user is adamant on Farina>Fiora>Florina.

What skill does FFT agree upon as the best skill set-

Tymothi:MATH SKILL!

Answer:Yup. Nothing like CT5 Holy while your team has Chameleon Robes on a ninja.

What is the most popular phrase on the Star Fox boards?

Ellador:Caiman here. No problems...DO YOU COPY? EMERGENCY MANEUVERS!

Peppy:Do a barrel roll!

Answer:Do a barrel roll!

.....Does anyone post at the arcade version of the Pong Board?

Samus:No.

Gandalf:.......................................... .................................................. .........(some 10 hours later)............................................ .......yes.

Answer:Amazingly,YES! Plus,there's a lot of funny paddles there too.

Rali:Slicey wins. Blasty,council.

COUNCIL TIME LEIK OMG!

Rali:Do it.

Peppy:You mean a barrel roll right?

Rali:No,I meant-

Peppy:Barrel roll?

Rali:No! I mean-

Peppy:Do a barrel roll?

Rali:GAH!!!!! PEPPY,THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN,GET OUT!!!

Peppy's thoughts:What the heck?(realizes he quoted Wolf O'Donnel)NOOOOOOO!(asplodes)

ROB:Great Fox will cover you. (blows Rali up)

Harner:Ah great,out of decent characters to use for hosts. And we haven't even reached merger. Guess I'll need to call upon the cast of PSO to help me host. Episode III,that is.

JYAP
03-07-2005, 07:34 AM
Next Day...


Hey,what's that black wave of Orcs marching towards both camps?

Harner:SAURON ATTACK! NO DRILL!

Hunters:(appear at Slicey's camp)

Arkz:(appear at Blasty's camp)

WAR!

Hunters:(start summoning their weapons)

Arkz:(start summoning their monsters)

Orcs:(are following Orc theory(Send a bunch of people after 1 guy))

Well,the Arkz have it easier.

Black Mage:HADOKEN!

2,000 Orcs:(poof)

At Slicey...

Orland:(has summoned 4 weapons,all Swords,and starts cleaving into the Orcs)

Kranz:(picks off 2 with his Rifle)Got 2 already!

Kylria:17.(was using Shots)

Kranz:Grrr...

So you know,last night,I watched bout half of The Two Towers and The Return of the King on DVD,with extended scenes. I'll tell you my favorite parts at the end.

Glustar:(got his Evil Curst along with his Mag Preta,and casts Gibarta)

25 Orcs or so:(freeze)

Kranz:(BLAM)6!(BLAM)7!(BLAM)8!(BLAM)9!

Guykild:BZZZZZZT BZZT BZZZZT! GZZZZZT GZZZZZT!

100 Orcs:(implode from hearing that)

Relmitos:(takes Caduceus in hand,casts Zonde on one guy,then smacks the crap outta another,then Bartas another,then whacks another...)

Stella:(is running really fast with Mechguns in hand,strafing the Orcs and pelting them with bullets)Don't you forget it,nyah!

Trolls:(start coming,smash Stella away,destroying all her Mechguns equipped)

Stella:Owww! I'll get you,nyah!

Guykild:BZZZZZZT BZZ-(CRACK)(Guykild goes flying,and due to his pathetic HP,is not coming back)

Hunters:11 left.

Orcs:7,500 left.

At Blasty's...

All Arkz:(start summoning Claws)

5,000 Claws:(appear to challenge the 10,000 orcs)

Ohgun:(shoots a huge bazooka blast into the fray before the Claws attack,nailing 10 of them)

K.C.:Thou is taking the initiative? Very well. (picks off 5 of them with his rifle)

Lura:(blows away another 5)

Rufina:(uses Action card,doubles AP,then slicers 20)

Reiz:(does not summon monsters excepting guard creatures,and charges into the fray,slicing and dicing with her Partisan of Lightning)

Black Mage:You guys are weak! (starts sniping with his Black Buster)

10 Orcs:(kiss the ground each shot)

No other Arkz needs to fight now. The claws are doing great at killing,and there's Black Mage,shooting off a occasional Bolt-2 or Fire-3.

Eventually,they all die. Too bored to type rest of battle.

Harner:Since Gandalf attracted Sauron,he is voted out automatically.

Gandalf:I contest!

Harner:(is using the C.A.R.D. system,plays Sange Yasha,cheats,and plays Savitri as well,then attacks with Slash-Slash-SW Attack)

Harner's base AP:5.

Sange Yasha strength:4.

Savitri bonus:4.

Slash:+2 each.

SW attack:1.5x increase for sword attacks.

24 damage inflicted.

Gandalf=KOed.

Gandalf's thoughts:Curse you Sauron!



Favorite LOTR part time!

(Pre-Warg battle in The Two Towers,Gimli tries to ride a horse,then falls off)

Gimli:No need to be alarmed! That was deliberate!

(At Helm's Deep,during the attack)

Gimli:Got 2 already!

Legolas:17.

(After the battle,Gimli is sitting on a dead orc)

Legolas:Final Count:42.

Gimli:Well,not bad for some elven prince! I got 43.

(Legolas nocks a arrow,and shoots the orc Gimli was on)

Legolas:43.

Gimli:He was already dead.

Legolas:He was twitching.

Gimli:Oh yeah,he was twitching cause my axe is in his head!

(Return of the King,Pellennor Fields)

(Legolas climbs up a mumakil's leg via arrows,jumps to the rope holding the archers on,cuts it,causing the archers to fall down the opposite side of Legolas,who climbs up,nocks 3 arrows,shoots the mumakil's head,then walks down its corpse in front of Gimli)

Gimli:That still only counts as 1!

Maybe I got the exact quotes wrong,but yeah,that's pretty much how it went. I <3 Gimli...NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!

Break:This is long enough as it. Will you end it already?

Fine...

Felonious Monk
03-07-2005, 05:40 PM
Legolas is the man.

JYAP
03-08-2005, 03:16 PM
Harner:Due to BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG annoyances,1 of each group of my new PSO staff will be fired. (presses a button)

Ino'lis:(drops down a trap door for attacking and suiciding on a enemy right before I could win)

Peko:(a giant cake is dropped in front of him)Oh boy!

Cake:(eats Peko for actually killing me via friendly fire before I could kill the enemy)

Now,to the next day.

Arthas is extremely peeved that his alliance's objective ate it...and that's it.

Rahu III found a stockpile of Custom Robo parts-hey wait a minute! That's for the challenge!

(cue merge)

Black Mage likes Arthas' evilness,and allies with him with gusto,bringing Bass in as well.

Link doesn't get along very well...

Samus:Hey elf,move!

Link:(whacks Samus with boomerang)

Commence huge blownout fight about Link being called a elf.

Challenge time!

Stella:Today you'll be using Custom Robos,nyah! We'll face off in 2 4-ways,nyah,then we'll go to a 1 on 1,nyah! Any questions,nyah?

X:Why do you keep saying nyah?

Stella:(cue anime-style rage scene with Stella big and X small)FEAR THE NYAH,NYAH!

Everyone:O_o

Stella:Make your robos,nyah!

First Round:Ellador VS Tymothi VS Kirby VS Samus

(JYAP note:I describe the robo in this order:User,Robo,Gun,Legs. I don't bother with the pods and bombs,I never use them.)

Ellador
Halberd
Blade
Long Thrust

Tymothi
Metal Ox
Shotgun
Formula

Kirby
Peregrine
Knuckle
Formula

Samus
Milky Way
Sniper
High Jump

The colloseum for all battles:No-Man's Land

GO!

MW(Milky Way):(distances self away from everyone,trying to get a good shot)

MO(Metal Ox):(is sticking to the ground,trying to hit Halberd,who's dashing around and taking advantage of the stealth feature)

Grine(Peregrine):(dashes for MW,and pounds away with the Knuckle gun,then changes targets and wrecks up MO,then runs back and is hit by a Sniper shot)

Halberd:(gets a clear shot,and unleashes a bunch of blades at MO,doling out major damage)

Grine:(nails Halberd too)

Long story short-wait,the battle lasted 20 seconds...anyways,Peregrine wins. Peregrine-Knuckle combo drives my friends up the wall,onto the ceiling,and across the room.

Next set:Bass VS Link VS Arthas VS Black Mage

Bass
Criminal
Gatling
Short Thrust

Link
Ray 01
3-way
Stabilizer

Arthas
Defender
Eagle
Long Thrust

Black Mage
Dour Head
Titan
Standard(he felt confident)

Go!

DH(Dour Head):(tries its gun...only to realize it's a piece of junk! GAH!)

Defender:(flies around,shooting Eagles at DH)

Ray 01:(doesn't have a problem hitting poor Criminal with the 3-way,despite the 3 dashes it gets)

Not a very interesting battle...Ray 01 wins. Continuous flight is no match for spreadfire.

Stella:Because of the bad attitude of X,and the fact Rahu III is illegal,they are both disqualified,nyah!

Kirby VS Link

GO!

10 seconds later...

Peregrine wins.

Stella:Kirby wins immunity,nyah!

Before council...

Black Mage:I say we vote out Rahu III. It's creeping me out.

Arthas/Bass/Ellador:Kay.

COUNCIL,NYAH!

Stella:Go,nyah!

Black Mage's alliance:(vote for Rahu III)You're too dangerous.

Kirby/Link:(vote for Arthas)We don't trust you.

Rahu III/Samus/Tymothi:(vote for Black Mage)You're a psychopathic killer.

X:(votes for Link)Because I can.

Stella:Let me tally the votes,nyah!...........4 votes Rahu III,3 votes Black Mage-

Black Mage:WHA?!?!?!?!?!

Stella:Shut up,nyah! 2 votes Arthas,1 vote Link,nyah. The tribe has spoken,nyah!

Rahu III's thoughts:...

JYAP
03-09-2005, 08:17 PM
Next day...

Samus had smuggled her Plasma Beam and Flamethrower combo into the game and is now burninating everything near because she wanted to use Rahu III. And in other news,a garage jumper's parents sued because their son got hurt...P.S. they're suing the architect.

Challenge time!

Guykild:BZZZT GZZZZZT GZZZZAH GZZZZT BZZZZZAAAHHHHHHHHHH!(Translation:Today's challenge is...worth DOUBLE IMMUNITY! But Samus has illegally burninated everything and is disqualified. Anyways,in front of you are 4 Sega Genesises(plural of Genesis?). Each has a copy of Blades of Vengeance. You will pair up,choose a character,and compete to beat the game. Farthest wins. If there is a tie,it's determined by how many lives you lost. Partner up!)

Black Mage:ARTHAS!

Ellador:Link.

Tymothi:Kirby!

X:Bass?

Bass:WHY?!?

Guykild:BZZZZZZZZT BZZZZAH GZZZZZT GZZZAHHHHH BZZZZZZZZT!

Black Mage:What?

Translator Robot:...you don't wanna know. Go!

Level 1,the volcano!

Black Mage is thoroughly disappointed by the wizard's lack of SMDs. Arthas,as the barbarian,has a innate greed and takes everything in sight,much to Black Mage's annoyance.

Black Mage:I NEEDED THAT HEALING!

Ellador and Link,as barbarian and huntress,have the problem that Link doesn't speak Elvish. Still,they cooperate fairly well.

Tymothi and Kirby with huntress and wizard,get along VERY well. They do pretty fine as well.

X and Bass...wait,nevermind,Bass suicided all of his lives to get out of playing with X...who has never been injured yet?!? With the barbarian?!?

Eventually,the first boss rolls around. It's a creature inside a firey cloud of,ummm,fire,that sends small walking fireballs after you. Afterwards,it pops out its head and shoots eyeblasts at you. It's vulnerable doing this.

X makes short work of him in a record 30 seconds.

Black Mage loses a life thanks to Arthas hogging all the Healings.

Tymothi and Kirby do well as well. Ok,that did not sound right.

Ellador uses up his last Healing warding off the fireballs,while Link used a Force Field by accident,confusing it for a Healing.

All get by.

At the shop,Arthas unknowingly mistakes the Invisibility potion for Invincibility,and blows all his cash on it. Everyone else gets Healings.

Level 2,the haunted castle!

Arthas doesn't know how to block,and loses a life to the clubmen on the level. Black Mage eventually picks them off.

X utilizes every secret he knows,and chalks up a LOT of silver.

Ellador loses a life trying to jump to a platform Link jumped on,and fell to his doom.

Tymothi and Kirby get by safely,but use 1 or 2 Blast Wands.

Level 2's boss! It's the ghost of a king. It appears in 1 of 5 spaces at the start,shoot 2 blasts of energy,and solidify for a couple seconds,then disappear and repeat the process. To cause damage,hit him while he's solid. Eventually,he'll appear on the ground(and on you if you're not moving!),solidify for longer periods,and shoot a blast when he disappears.

Arthas loses a life and his Healings here cause he didn't block.

X wastes him,taking 2-3 hits in the process.

Tymothi used his Strength scroll to speed it up.

Link didn't know Blast Wands don't hurt bosses,and uses them all in vain,along with a few Healings.

At the shop,more Healings,cept for X,who skips it.

Level 3,the tower!

Ellador falls to his death again.

Arthas loses his last life to the axe-wielding werewolfs,while Black Mage gets wasted once because of the Healing hog.

Tymothi and Kirby did fine.

X blazes through.

Level 3 boss! It's a medusaesque head that shoots energy blasts at you and bounces around the room in energy form...and that's it. Due to the raw power though,my mom and I used most of our Force Fields here.

X has no problem...cept for using 1 Force Field.

Black Mage is finished here.

Link loses a life here,trying to minimize Force Field loss.

Kirby lost his last Healing.

At the shop,X snags the armor pronto. Ellador can't afford it,but Link can. Tymothi and Kirby both get it as well.

Level 4,the dungeon!

X uses his new flail's ability to be used as a offensive shield to good use.

Tymothi loses 2 lives due to the complexity and toughness of the level.

Ellador fell down the lift from a shortcut and is out of the game.

Level 4's boss! He's a nasty sai-wielding lizardman. He does TONS of damage(2 hits=1 Healing),and has a lot of health. If you didn't get the armor,you'll either die in the level or here.

Link wastes his Force Fields and Healings here and still loses a life.

Tymothi and Kirby take awhile,but they win safely(Read:Kirby shot him from the platform above).

X actually takes some damage and uses 2 Healings here,but lives.

At the shop,Link buys a 1-up,and X gets 2 and 3 Healings. Everyone else gets Healings.

Level 5,the tower!

The axemen take their toll here. Except X,everyone loses a life,and their Healings.

Link jumped on the wrong part of the lift and fell to his death.

Link:(in Hylian)NOOOOOOOO!

Game:Continue?

Link:(chooses yes,and is returned without his items to the game)

Tymothi isn't as fortunate,and is out.

X starts using more Healings than before.

Level 5's boss! See level 3's,only in a smaller room.

Link loses 2 lives due to lack of Force Fields.

Kirby also loses a life here.

X found the pattern,and takes no damage mauling the boss.

At the shop,the usual. X buys more lives,and Kirby gets a life as well. (pun intended)

Level 6,the city!

Compared to the last one,this is a cakewalk. Just a few Healings here and there,and that's it...no wait,Link couldn't find out the guards with shields' weakness,and dies. That's all for him.

Level 6's boss! It's a vulturelike creature that drops rocks on you. Different color rocks have different effects. It swoops down if you're under it,which is the only time to hit it.

Kirby lost his life here.

X wins without a problem...ok,he used 2 Healings.

At the shop,X buys lives,Force Fields,and Healings to prepare for the monstrosity that is...

Level 7,the forest! (mirrors crack,a dam breaks,all the deer look up...yes,it's that bad)

Kirby doesn't even make it to the boss.

Guykild:BZZZZZZZT BZZZZZAH BZZZT!(X wins! He may continue playing if he wishes,because that's the reward for the challenge!)

X does so,but loses all his Healings at...

Level 7's boss! A giant head that shoots small projectiles,a buzzsaw missile,and more. No one will blame you for using everything you got here.

X used up all his Force Fields.

At the shop,X uses it all on everything he can get.

Level 8,the citadel!

I don't need to explain it now.

Level 8's boss! It's Manax,the evil dragoness that took over the land to begin with. With her two heads,she shoots blasts of fire and thrusts at you. If you have any powerups,use them now.

X uses it all up and wins,without dying,at all,with a Force Field to spare!

Everyone:(is in awe)

Later,at a undisclosed location...

X:(takes off mask to reveal...)

JYAP(not Harner,not anyone else,me,as in,the guy typing this):Whew. That mask is hot. Wonder how long before they catch on,if at all...wonder if the real X is free...

In a closet...

X:Mmmmmph mmmmmph mmmmph!(is tied up)

Viviana:(throws Teifu in same closet,not noticing X,also tied up)

Council. Now.

Guykild doesn't buzz at all,just signaling to vote.

X:(votes Bass)Quitter.

Black Mage's alliance:(vote Samus)Fire hazard.

Samus:(votes Black Mage)Because you're a psycho.

Kirby:(votes Samus out of fear)

Everyone else:(votes Tymothi because they're jealous)

Guykild tells his translator to get the votes.

Translator Bot:Let's see...1 vote Bass,5 votes Samus,1 vote Black Mage-(Black Mage rises to protest,but is nearly gunned down by Guykild),2 votes Tymothi. Tribe has spoken.

Samus:But-GAH!!!(Guykild unleashes a hail of mechgun bullets upon her,blowing her away)

Samus' thoughts:I hate androids.

JYAP
03-19-2005, 02:54 PM
(sirens go off in the base)

Harner:AUTHOR LAZINESS ALERT! NO DRILL! ALL SPRIGGANS SCRAMBLE!

(meanwhile,at my house...)

JYAP:(rubs his eyes open...to see a army of spriggans armed with sticks)...must be dreaming...

Spriggan:Ready for a wee bit of fun?

(10 minutes later)

JYAP:(has a bunch of bruises and a black eye)

The next day,a time anomaly caused the days to go 2 days back,3 days forward,4 days back,then 3 days forward. Read:The next day you moron!

X...is looking surprisingly fine...hey waitaminute!

FLASHBACK LEIK OMG

In a closet...

The closet is filling with robots. So far it holds ROB64,Axl,Napalm Man-no,nix that,he's dead.

Mega Man:What? It's not like I blew him away because he had a sucky weapon!

Anyways,then Reiz walks by...hears the cries...frees them all...and enters a seek and destroy mission for their captor...ok,Teifu didn't get out.

END TEH FLASHBACKAGE

Whatever. Anyways,Black Mage is chasing Arthas around with his stabbing knife for sucking so much in the challenge.

CHALLENGE TIME!

Break:JYAP is getting tired of typing so much Survivor stuff and not doing what this thread was for,so this is the last challenge.

Red Mage:DUN DUN DUN!

Black Mage:Where'd you come from and how are you still breathing?

Break:Anyways,for this challenge,there will be 2 stages. The first stage requires a partner. You will team up and fight another pair Mario and Luigi:Superstar Saga style. The second one is a competition on Star Fox Assault. Now,to balance it out on the first stage...(Break makes a motion,and some players are hit with a lightning bolt,reducing their strength)...good. Pick a partner...good...the matchups will be:

Black Mage and Bass VS Kirby and Link

Tymothi and Ellador VS X and Arthas

GO!

(cue battle music here)

Black Mage:60 HP,15 BP
Bass:80 HP,15 BP

Kirby:70 HP,25 BP
Link:90 HP,10 BP

Black Mage's turn!

BM finds out his Hadoken's been disabled. He attempts a Hand(read:Fire-3)attack on Kirby. He flunks the action and comically roasts himself like Mario would on a flunked Hand attack.

20 Damage! CRITICAL!(50 HP left)

Kirby's turn!

Kirby eats a mushroom.

20 HP!(70 HP left)

Link's turn!

Link tries a Jump attack on Black Mage,and gets the timing right.

15 damage!(45 HP left)

Bass' turn!

Bass uses his Tool(substitute for hammer)on Kirby and succeeds in the timing.

18 damage!(52 HP left)

Black Mage's turn!

BM tries Hand again and hits Kirby. This time,the timing is right.

28 damage! CRITICAL!(24 HP left)

Kirby's turn!

Kirby uses his Tool attack,and inhales Bass. He flunks the timing.

10 damage!(60 HP left)

Bass' turn!

Bass nods to BM,and executes a Bros. Attack! Well,more like a combo,but you know what I mean!

Bass chooses the Hand combo.

Bass charges up his buster with fire. He gets off 3 charges. He then fires them at Black Mage,who takes his dagger and stabs them. Each ball goes towards Kirby.

1st hit:11 damage! CRITICAL!

2nd hit:11 damage! CRITICAL!

3rd hit:Black Mage flunks the timing,and is lit on fire. He collides with Kirby for 6 damage.

Kirby spins,then falls down.

Link:Kirby!

Link's turn!

Link takes out his Tool,the bow,and aims at Black Mage. BM,however,dodges the attack.

Black Mage's turn!

Black Mage starts another Bros. Attack. He chooses Jump.

Black Mage jumps in the air,lands on Bass,and together they jump on Link. No timing mishaps.

30 damage! LUCKY!!!(60 HP left)

I will draw a veil over the rest of the match. Needless to say,Link was doomed. BM ended with 23 HP,and Bass still has full health.

Next match!

Tymothi:100 HP,5 BP
Ellador:80 HP,10 BP

X:90 HP,10 BP
Arthas:75 HP,0 BP

X's turn!

X starts a Bros. Attack on Ellador. He chooses Tool. X generates a hammer,and whacks Arthas,who shrinks to a ball. X then whacks him golf style at Ellador twice.

12 damage!

22 damage! LUCKY!!!(46 HP left)

Arthas' turn!

Arthas starts his Hand attack. To make up for his lack of BP,Arthas needs no timing. He whacks Ellador with a death coil.

20 damage! CRITICAL!(26 HP left)

Tymothi's turn!

Tymothi starts a Bros. Attack on Arthas. He chooses Hand. He flicks his wrist,then charges up a thunder blast. He jumps on Ellador,then jumps above X and Arthas,then unleashes his blast!

99 damage! CRITICAL! LUCKY!!!

X:Arthas!

Break:Foul!

Tymothi:What?

Break:Tymothi and Ellador are disqualified for illegally enhancing their power!

Tymothi:Grrrrrr...DIE!

New battle!

Break:999 HP

Break's turn!

Break slices at Tymothi with his Agito.

635 damage!

Tymothi spins,then falls.

Ellador:Tymothi!

Ellador's turn!

Ellador revives Tymothi with a 1-up Mushroom.

Tymothi's turn!

Tymothi slashes at Break with his Tool.

1 damage!

Break is angered at this,and counterattacks with Rafoie.

422 damage!

Tymothi:Mama mia...

Break:The second part will now start!

The stage:Simple Map 2.

The rules...anything goes.

So you know,it's BM,Bass,Arthas,and X.

BM=Falco
Bass=Wolf
Arthas=Fox
X=Slippy

GO!

BM slinks off with Falco's speed into a hidden spot in the map,while Bass finds a gatling gun and starts causing havoc. Then X finds a Landmaster. Beep beep. Still,it's pretty even until...

BM:Hey,what's this?(finds a Fireburst Pod)Oooooooooooh,cool!(puts it in the middle of the conflict and runs)

Everyone:(move up to see WTF is that)

Pod:(goes kaboom,blowing up everyone with it)

Break:It's decided! Black Mage is the Sole Survivor and wins...

1 C.A.R.D. system interface!

A +5/+5 Keen Vorpal Dagger of Speed!

Robes to add extra spell slots for Hadoken!

A stress relief Fighter doll!

An Arwing!

Annnnnnnnnnnd...RED MAGE'S CHARACTER SHEET!

Black Mage:AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(snags stuff and flies off in Arwing)

Break:Thanks for playing!

JYAP
06-15-2005, 10:05 AM
Narrators are for chumps.

Harner:(snaps fingers,Serind,Raran,Drago,Rali,Sugnus,and Loristan all appear on the ground)Your performance in the Survivor segment of this story displeased me. I'm getting rid of all of you but 1. How will this be decided?(teleports them to the store Jade was at when she blackmailed Harner and Wandera to coming)Last one standing wins. Watch for the occasional item. And...go.

Serind:(dropped near the sporting goods,finds the guns)... :twisted:

Raran:DWARVEN STEALTH!(disappears)

Sugnus:No fair. (taps Drago with left hand trying to get a alliance)

Drago:BLARGH! (dies)

Sugnus:Oh,that's my undead arm. Oh well! (searches for Rali)

Rali:(found Serind,gets shot)Ow!(max flamestrikes Serind)

Serind:YEOWHOTHOTHOTBURNINGHPDEPLETINGWAYTOOHOTAGH CANTUSESPACESORPUNCTUATION-

Raran:RAWR(pokes Serind)

Serind:(drops dead)

Harner:This is boring. (drops in Surge and The Ninja,who team up and lay traps everywhere)

Raran:(flips dead on traps)

Rali:(likewise)

Loristan:Huh?

Harner:Loristan wins! Oh,I lied about the firing thing. (revives everyone)

At Bodom's rebuilt rebuilt fortress...

Bodom:(lifts another glass of wine)

All the other guys:HARNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bodom's glass breaks,his wine rack blows up,and the highest tower falls on Bodom.

Bodom:CURSE YOU HARNER! I'LL GET YOU!

Short,but I updated,didn't I?

Felonious Monk
06-15-2005, 07:24 PM
Mmmmmm... wine. *gurgles*

JYAP
06-15-2005, 07:54 PM
Sugnus:I'm so forgotten,it isn't documented how I die in the last chapter! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! :-( So,I became the new narrator! Now I'll get some respect!(walks to narrating booth,trips 10 traps)GFLARGLE!(dies)

Surge:Whoops!

Harner:So-

Bodom:NO MORE! I AM SICK OF THIS!

Jade:Bodom-

Bodom:WHAT DO I NEED TO GET TO HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET AROUND HERE?!?

Jade:Bodo-

Bodom:EVERY TIME I TRY TO RELAX,HARNER DOES SOMETHING THAT DISRUPTS MY PEACE!

Jade:BOD-

Bodom:I'M ENDING IT RIGHT NOW! YOU'RE GOING DOWN HARNER!

Jade:(morphs into minotaur)BODOM!

Bodom:What?

Harner:(had called all of Bodom's victims to pummel him)

Bodom:...oh...

Lessee...1 guy has dual zealot blades,another is packing a chainsaw,a third has a whip,and yet another has a grenade launcher for a arm. Goon 5 has a magic headband that gives him 1337 martial arts,and 1 more has a quadrupled barrel shotgun. Oh,and Wandera has a BFG out. And did I mention Surge and The Ninja didn't stop at trapping the store and the booth? Cause as Bodom tries to run,he trips several slow and tangle traps. And some random bard guy cast Silence on Bodom too.

Bodom:Well,this bites.

Shush,you can't talk remember? Oh,and 1 guy has a 13375P341< bullhorn out and is leading the charge by firing on Bodom.

F15510l\l (V)411_3D l\l00B1_37

After 5 minutes,there's only Bodom's ashes. Lesson? Listen to Jade.

Felonious Monk
06-16-2005, 06:56 PM
Damn skippy.

JYAP
06-17-2005, 05:34 PM
Narrator Kirby:Poyo!(is hit by warp star)WAAAAAAaaaaaahhh...(DING!)

Harner:So-

Computer:WARNING,WARNING,CUTENESS ALERT! CUTENESS-(BOOM)

Harner:O_O...too...cute...! Escape pods! Hurry!

(everyone ejects as the base is overwhelmed by...Kirbys?)

(All Kirby text from this point on is translated.)

Pink Kirby:Yay! We have our own base!

Red Kirby:Ooooooh,what does this button do? (presses button)

Somewhere...

Goth:CRAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIN!

Ninja:You need to die. Now. (slices off goth's head)

Back at the base...

Yellow Kirby:Wow,look at all the stuff! (grabs mega shotgun off armory wall,fires at Green Kirby)

Green Kirby:BLARGH! (loses a life)

Blue Kirby:Carbon Kirby! Don't jump on that!

Carbon Kirby:(is bouncing on a lever)Wheeeee!

Orange Kirby:(is crushed by a piston)

Purple Kirby:(found the secret candy stash,swallows it all)...WHEEEEEEEEEEECANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!(bou nces all around the base,slamming Chalk Kirby into...Bodom? WTF? Didn't he get vaped last chapter?)

Chalk Kirby:Ahh! Scary sorceror dude!(swallows Bodom,becomes Magic Kirby)Yay!(spins roulette...and it lands on the ? mark)

All Kirbies:(get a random power)

Sapphire Kirby:(got the U.F.O. power)Cool!(zaps random Waddle Dee...hey wait a minute,WTF?)

Kirby Enemies:(are attacking)

Chocolate Kirby:(got Wheel power)Hey Cherry Kirby! I bet I can kill more than you!(lawnmows 10 Waddle Dees with wheel power)

Cherry Kirby:(got Crash power,blows up 23 enemies)I win!

Snow Kirby:(got Ice power,freezes a Sword Knight,kicks him into several Snooters and Emerald Kirby)

Emerald Kirby:(got Magic power)Ow! Grrr...(activates roulette,which lands on the sword)

Metaknight:KILL TIME!(dices up all enemies)

Kirbies:...HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Harner:(reenters base,activates Kirby Quarantine,trapping them in a room with regenerating candy)Whew. Crisis averted.

Bodom:(fingers Harner)Nope.

Harner:(had a ankh of reincarnation)Pwned. (shoots Bodom with a cannon)

Lesson? Kirbies are evilly cute.

JYAP
06-21-2005, 08:13 PM
Narrator:Now-(trips,falls in a pot of boiling acid)

Harner:Ok,now that-Hey,WTF?

Jade:Well,that's strang-Errr,wha?

Wandera:I have no clue what's goin-...I got double dissed...

Forest Imps:Kekeke...

Rock:There's the culprits! Get them!

Jade:Where'd he come from?

Harner:I invited him. CHARGE!

Despite the team's 1337 n00bslaying skills,the imps are winning,until...

Garland:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(plows down imps trying to run away)

Imps:Ke..ke.....ke....X_X

Harner:Why was he naked-Wait,nevermind,I don't wanna know.

Lesson:Imps do weird things.

JYAP
06-24-2005, 02:18 PM
Harner:Well-(is hit by nonexplosive rocket,is flown to Iraq)

Everyone Else:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Rock:What now?

Jade:I say we break into his stash and steal his candy!

Everyone:YEAH!(open door to reveal...)

Kirbies:HIIIIIIII!

Rock:MY EYES! THEY'RE TOO CUTE!(falls into a lava pit)

Jade:(shuts door fast)O...k...let's get his armory!

Everyone:YEAH!(open armory door to reveal...)

Theodin:(is somehow riding a horse(even though dwarves can't ride horses),and has the riders of Rohan behind him)FORTH EORLINGAS!

Wandera:RUN!!!!!

Droim(who has somehow reintergrated from part 6):(trips,is trampled)

Jade:(closes door)O_o...let's mess around with the security settings?

Everyone:YEAH!(open control center door to reveal...)

Surge and The Ninja:(finished rigging up the security lasers to fire on everything)Adieu!(disappear)

Draco:(is turned into swiss cheese)

Jade:(steals Wandera's kama,hits security panel with it,closes door)

Wandera:HEY! THAT'S NOT CHEAP Y'KNOW!

Jade:Ok,we're all alone...not good-(bumps button)

Wandera:(is sent to Yeti Mountain)Uh oh...

Yeti:ROAR!(eats Wandera)

Jade:Well...Harner won't be happy to see this-

Random Moronic Muslims:JIHAD!(somehow end up wielding miniguns,chew through Jade)

1 hour later...

Harner:I'm back from killing Muslins!...Holy shit...(activates mini-Omega Continenty,mutilating everything in base,then revives his fellow guildmates)

Lesson:13 is very unlucky.

Felonious Monk
06-24-2005, 06:35 PM
Miniguns are for pansies. Pick up a battle axe and fight like a minotaur you shameless heathens!

JYAP
07-09-2005, 06:29 PM
Narrator:(looks left,then right)Phew...coast is clear...

Myrrh the Mamkute:(transforms into a dragon,crushes narrator from above)

Harner:Aw screw it,I'm gonna get interuppted. Let's head to the camera room to watch whatever will happen now.

1 portal:(opens up on 1 side)

Eliwood:...Athos,are you sure this is the way back?

Athos:Of course! I can't be wrong now can I?

Other Portal:(opens up on opposite side)

Eirika:Seth,this doesn't look like the way back to Renais...

Seth:Nonsense,I'm sure it's this way!

2 armies:(meet each other)O_o...who are you?

Karel:Too boring. Must kill.(stabs Rennac)

Rennac:MY CRAPPY PREPOMOTED SPLEEN!(dies)

Dozla:HE KILLED RENNAC!(slams axe on Karel's skull)

Karel:(has crappy HP and Def,dies)

Guy:HE KILLED KAREL!

WAR!!!!!!!

Marcus:(trips,lance impales self)

Seth:(trips,falls in lava pit)

Ninian+Tethys:(get in some weird dancing contest to see who can reenergize the most troops)

Rock:(is enthralled)

Harner:(clonks him with the hilt of his katana,KOing him)

I'm not going to elaborate on everything. Here's the order of deaths:

Duessel:Found out why Wallace wrote the Manual of Knightly Prowess
Wallace:TKed by Vaida
Vaida:Lyn wanted payback
Bartre:"Oooooooh,shiny..."Of course the lava pit is shiny
Garcia:Too underleveled
Ross:Arrr,Dart keelhauled him brutally
Dart:Ross had A support with Lute
Pent:Found out SS sages<FE7 sages
Saleh:Vengeful apprentice!!!
Erk:Turns out Ewan was a Summoner
Ewan:Summon was the spirit of Pent
Vanessa:Guns=Bows=Dead Peg Knight
Syrene:Shouldn't have gotten so close to the line of fire
Wil:Ticked off Gilliam
Serra:Suicided after finding Erk dead
Florina:Hit the Yeti Mountain warp
Fiora:Followed Florina
Neimi:Ran away crying after Matthew threw a stone at her
Matthew:VERY ticked off assassin Colm
Colm:Jaffar got the OHKO faster
Jaffar:There was a ballista with 1 use left and Neimi used it before running
Oswin/Gilliam:Killed each other fighting
Moulder:I didn't know Canas had a spell that turns useless priests into mold...
Joshua:Guy had backup with Karla
Guy:Was found by a gang of rabid yaoi fanboys/fangirls
Raven:Got carried off as well
Lucius:Ditto
Artur:Luna'd and Axe-in-head'd
Dorcas:Lute had B support with Artur
Canas:Lived through Lute,but had to deal with Innes
Innes:Accidently got in the way of Ephraim's lance
Tana:Suicided after Innes died
Priscilla/Natasha:Saw no more point to this and left the battle
Farina:Too bad Priscilla left,she could have healed her
Rebecca:Owies...that ricochet arrow left its mark...
Legault:Apparently Franz doesn't take kindly to thieves...
Forde/Sain/Kent/Kyle:Found each other,gawked at how similiar they were,and asploded
Franz:Dangit,don't eat Lowen's cooking!
Lowen:That applies to you too Lowen!
Renault:Was hanging back when a Kirby walked by and swallowed him
Lute:Found Mad Steve's spellbook from GameFAQs,and touched it,disintergrating her
Louise:Really bad ribboncut from Ninian by accident
Heath:The other side found guns too
Cormag:Was found impersonating Swiss cheese
Isadora:Bazooka backfire
Nino:Kidnapped by Lu Aza of GameFAQs
Lu Aza:All perverts must die. Painfully.
Myrrh:Noob trail to GameFAQs,where they had a shortage on stupidity
Tethys:Ninian had enough,and morphed into a dragon
Ninian/Nils:Didn't know Siegmund and Sieglinde pwned dragons...
Karla:Overexertion
Marisa:Ditto
Gerik:I knew chucking that sword up would lead to accidents...
Amelia:Guess a Silver Blade was too big for her
Anyone Else I Forgot:The lords pwn too much

By the end of the brawl,only Ephraim,Hector,Eirika,Eliwood,and Lyn are left.

Harner:Ok,I'm bored.(drops them in lava pit)

Lesson:Characters from other games of the same series should never meet.

JYAP
07-19-2005, 08:16 PM
Bregor and his cronies:HAR HAR WE INVADED AND TOOK OVER!

Harner:Ack,nooblars! Go guys go!

Rali:(appears with other chars,assaults cronies)

The Ninja:(is KDed,dies after reducing Bregor to Badly Wounded)

Bregor:Ha ha you suck! You're like 10 levels higher than me and I beat you! Ha ha!

The Ninja:(lets loose Kirby,the DM-enhanced dire wolf)

Kirby:(mauls Bregor)

Bregor:OH MY GOD! HE'S TEARING OFF MY-

Meanwhile...

Rali:(nukes a cronie back to hell)

Cronie:You use the same spell over and over again noob! I'm still better than you!

Rali:It works,doesn't it?(implodes cronie)

Harner:(has dealt a moderate amount of damage to another cronie)

Cronie:Loser,you can't even beat a 15th level dwarf.

Harner:No amount of Expertise will save you from THIS!(shoots cronie with mega shotgun)

(DONG)

Cronies:Well,we suck cause we aren't made for PvP!

Harner:Then why the hell are you here?

Serind:They want to volunteer for pincushions.(turns cronie into 1)

Raran:No,they obviously want to get dizzied by too many hits.(does so to a cronie)

Drago:Nah,they wanna be blown up in one spell. (BOOM)

Cronies:X_X

Harner:Nooblar invasion over. Commence normal Al-killing activities.

Lesson:Nooblars suck.

Oh,and taking effect today,I can only be on 5 hours a day. Unfair,huh? I'm open to suggestions as to what times I should spend my precious hours.

Seith
07-19-2005, 08:23 PM
Only 5 hours? That sucks you could spend all the time lvling diamond up if you want to.

JYAP
07-20-2005, 08:38 AM
(Seith is shot with the Mega Shotgun)
(DONG)
I'm not gonna waste all my precious hours on you. :razz:
Oh,and I have a little writer's block. You can write a chapter in the fanfic if you want to.

JYAP
08-21-2005, 08:44 AM
Harner:I'm bored. (portal opens)

Rain Mirnimane:...this isn't Eternal War is it?

Sleet Mirnimane:I told you to follow me!

Snow Mirnimane:Idiots...

Heat Mirnimane:ACHOO!(sneezes)

Harner:HOLY HELL I CAUGHT ON FIRE

Rain:Who are you?

Harner:Give me your name and I'll give you mine!

Lloyd:(warps from Tales of Symphonia)MY LINE! RAINING TIGER BLADE!

Harner:(is slammed into a wall)

Rain:O_o...we're the Weather Bros'.

Harner:Oh,you come from Eternal...I heard of you...you're incredibly sucky and die alot-

Bros:WHAT?!?

Harner:Uh oh,wrong phrasing! (summons Rali,Ninja,and Sugnus) Come on!

War!

They're facing off in pairs of two. Rali and Snow are channeling some freakish spell,Sugnus is slapping Heat silly,Sleet is introducing double swords to Ninja's vocaubulary,and Rain and Harner are in a deadlock.

Then...

Dredoc:Bloody hell! What is taking you people so long?(enters)

Serind:Hey Harner,what's-...O_o...

Unknown:Come back! I need self-confidence gained by socking you!(enters)

Raran:Serind,what's takin-Oh...

(cue more entrances from my chars and other people from Eternal until...)

Spriggans:Ready for a wee bit of fun?(stab everyone dead)

Almuric:(activates time warp returning crap to normal)

Lesson? See the title.

Also,do you think I should switch this to General Discussion so everyone can see it? Comment please.

Seith
08-27-2005, 08:47 PM
I personally like the Fanatic in the Midknight nine, but thats just my opinion. :-)

JYAP
09-02-2005, 08:07 PM
Monk,what's your opinion on this? Should I move it?

Felonious Monk
09-02-2005, 08:52 PM
Depends. How many regular posters can't get to this forum?

JYAP
09-03-2005, 03:22 PM
Nearly everyone. I guess I should move it.

Felonious Monk
09-03-2005, 06:55 PM
Sounds like a good idea.

JYAP
09-10-2005, 09:52 AM
Harner:Oh look,there's a horde of tower shield half-orc fighters charging towards our base with random tools of destruction. How boring.(snaps fingers)

Halfwingseen:Hiiii!(hellballs them all)

Harner:Weeee,now-

Halfwingseen:Umm...I only have 1 hellball and I used all my other spells. Plus there's more coming.

Harner:Oh for the love of Pete! Why don't I just use the Weather Bros.?

Rain:I RESENT THAT!

Harner:Shut up,you're on my server,you're mine now. Go fight them.

Hurricane:WEEEEILIKETOFIGHTANDTALKINCAPSANDWITHOUT PUNCTUATION

Harner:I'll pay you 2000 gold to shut him up.

Hail:MINE!(takes bar,slams it into hurricane's neck,taking out his vocal cords temporarily)

Harner:Oh,don't forget my advance-tech weaponry in the armory

Weather Bros.:WHERE?!?(ZOOM)

Meanwhile,outside...

PK Noob 1:Ok,we lost Bill and Joe. Now-(is hit by shotgun blast,dies)

CS Noob 1:(disables shotgun turrets)They're down! Go go go-

Gauntlet Dark Legacy Voice:BFG!

Hail:(draws a BFG,blows a line of noobs away)This Gauntlet activator rocks!

Thunder:Oh really? Watch this.

GDL Voice:PINBALL LEGENDS!

Thunder:(turns hail into a pinball,fires him into enemies)

Rain:WEEEEEEEEEE NEW SCYTHE NEW SCYTHE!(has the power of Sauron with the ring now)

Snow:Cool! A Hammer of the Gods wand! Those don't exist!(smites the imbeciles)Hey,where's Sleet?

Sleet:FORTH EORLINGAS!(rides atop a Chocobo as 500 more Chocobo Riders charge,cutting down everything in their way)

Heat:What's this thingy do?(pushes button,morphs into a red dragon)...cool...(rains fiery death)

PK Noob 2:THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!(incinerates)

CS Noob 2:THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!(burninates)

Trogdor:(is summoned by the word burninate being used,burninates the noobs)

Harner:This is going to be awhile. Better make sure JYAP works on another chapter.

Halfwingseen
09-10-2005, 05:08 PM
I resent that JYAP for that i decide NOT to come back to NWN
HMPH i was just about to

JYAP
09-10-2005, 06:28 PM
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
(you get the idea)
(edits)

JYAP
10-08-2005, 06:06 PM
(has a dramatic story in the works)
(it involves noobs...lots of them)
(and Kirbies and Shy Guys and Yoshis)
(is too busy to work on it now)
(thus leaves you with this crappy story)

Harner:Hi.

Wandera:Hi.

5 minutes...

Noob:Yarr.

Harner:Oh no.(kills noob)

Meanwhile...

Harner:That was the crappiest story I have ever read. I'm never hiring a monkey to do my stories again.

JYAP
10-09-2005, 07:34 PM
(as story is on its way,it is waylaid by noobs who corrupt the story,thus making the story deleted)

Narrator:-

Noobs:EXP!!!(gang him)

Meanwhile,in Eternal War...

Harner:I'm bored. When can I do something fun?

Noob:WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I RULE YOU DON'T NOOBLARS

Harner:Yay,fun!(draws shotgun,shoots off noob's limbs)

Noobs' Allies:HE KILLED JOE! GANG HIM!

Harner:(takes out really big Cloud Strife-esque sword,performs Whirlwind Attack)

Noobs:ACK! MY WAIST IS NO LONGER CONNECTED!(die)

Harner:Wow,this is fun Rain.

DM:HAHA I ACTUALLY CAME. I LIKE CSING!

Rain:You're fired.(overthrows DM,becomes DM)Mwahahahaha...(bans all noobs and morons and rulebreakers)

Harner:Hmm. Link to EB?

Rain:HELL YEAH!

And so EB was flooded with newblood...err,players.

JYAP
04-02-2006, 06:13 AM
(BOOM)

Harner: What happen?

Serind: Somebody set us up the bomb.

Rali: We get signal.

Harner: Main screen turn on.

Harner: It you!

Rain: Good evening gentlemen.

Rain: All your base are belong to us.

Rain: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Rain: Make your time now gentlemen.

Rain: Ha ha ha.

Harner: Take off every zig.

Harner: You know what you doing.

Harner: For great justice.



Harner: I cannot believe I just did that. Where the hell is JYAP?!?

Me: MEEEEP! (runs)

Protoss119
04-02-2006, 04:07 PM
...You are a god. (A.K.A. ROFLOLMFAO)

JYAP
07-03-2006, 04:54 PM
When we last left off,Rain was trapped by a horde of tower shield half orc fighters with his back to a cliff,having been hit by some noob mage's Grasping Hand.

EW's DM: It is inevitable. You cannot stop EW's decline. No one can save you now!

O RLY owl: O RLY?(flies in,pecks out DM's eye)

DM: OW! GODDAMN OWLS!

Rain: (has pulled out cellphone) Yeah,Harner? I need a bardstrike here pronto.

Harner: Roger that. Bardstrike commencing.

Rain: (drinks deafness potion)

A plane flies by and a speaker lowers...

Serind: Go ahead now!

WSE: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A!

Half Orcs: ARGH! IT HURTS LIKE CLAWS ON A THOUSAND CHALKBOARDS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!(they explode)

DM: That was unexpected...But you will still die!

Rain: Not really. Remember how I forced you to delevel me for werewolf levels?

DM: Yes-oh shi-

Full moon comes out.

One howl and a day later...

Rain: Harner,got someone to do a cleanup crew here?

Harner: I could send The Ninja.

Rain: That punk that almost got me killed by getting a glass of water? Do it do it do it!

The Ninja: Damn you all.

Felonious Monk
07-03-2006, 06:44 PM
Lycanthropy FTW.

JYAP
07-08-2006, 07:50 AM
Harner: Ok,we need a bigger crew to combat the rising menace of noobs. Let the auditions begin!

2 hours later,there's quite a hefty line of people.

The judges consist of Hurricane(Hurricane: WHEEEEEIMAJUDGELOLOL),Song Bird(SB: There were no girls...),and Serind(Serind: Yay,I get Simon's part. SHIT! I forgot the accent!)

First up...

Swift: Hello,my name's Swift. I'm a samurai.

Serind: Ok...see that training dummy over there?

Sugnus: Well I don't approve of this!

Serind: You need to knock him out.

Swift: Ok.

Swift draws his katana and wakizashi,twirls them fancily,then,in true samurai fashion,slices through Sugnus.

Sugnus: You never told me he could confuse people...Rain,I thought you weren't a judge...(collaspes)

Swift: I'm in?

Serind: Indeed.

Swift: WOOT!

SB: Next!

Drow Dumbass With A Moustache: Hi,I'm a-

SB: Wait,I just NEED to do this. (sings Curse Song)

Drow: ARGH!(stache fallls off)

Serind: DD! GANK HIM BOYZ!

The Stryker flies by and blows up DD.

Serind: Next!

Halfling: Hi,my name is Cheese Master-

The Stryker makes another pass.

Serind: Next...

Halfling Dude: Hi,I'm a werewolf/rogue.

Serind: Name?

Dude: I forget...

Judges: -_-;;;

Serind: Ok,it's dark. Go beat up Sugnus,who just recovered thanks to Rali.

Rali: WTF? I got MENTIONED?(implodes self)

Dude: (morphs,KDs Sugnus,tears him apart with sneaks)

Sugnus: CURSE YOU LEVEL 9 PM!

Serind: You pass. Next!

Cara Colds:Hi-

The Stryker flies by and drops out Rain,who twirls his scythe and crits Cara,sending her flying into some random server.

Rain: Who else is from EW?

10 seconds later,about the rest of the line has been identified as a noob and sent flying into the countryside.

Serind: Ok,who are you?

The Ninja of the Flaming Blade: I'm TNotFB,or you could call me Blade if you don't like acronyms.

Serind: And what do you do?

Blade: I'm a ninja spy.

The Ninja: Oh yeah? (jumps down,tries to slash)

Blade: Kawarimi no jitsu!

Hurricane: (was unlucky enough to be put in the way,and is KOed instantly)

Blade: (from above,gets several sneak attacks with shuriken before dropping down and unsheathing his own katana,which is flaming)

The Ninja: (draws his standard water katana)

1 epic ninja fight later...

Blade: Kage Bunshin no jitsu!

The Ninja: Oh crap-oh wait. Mizu Bunshin no jitsu!

1 epic clone fight later...

Serind: This is entertaining...

Blade: Screw it. (twirls katana,swings 5 times throwing a fireball each swing)

The Ninja: Aw nuts. (is KOed)

Serind: You're in and that concludes auditions.

Protoss119
07-08-2006, 10:18 AM
ROFL

Oh! Oh! Can I? Can I?

Drow Dumbass: ~wakes up from unsubconsiousness~ Ugh...where the hell am I? Oh yeah, that bastard Rain killed me. Hey wait...I'm alive! YAY! ~dances~

12,000 Battlecruiser Commodores: BATTLECRUISER OPERATIONAL

Drow Dumbass: It's OK! I can just CS the battlecruisers! ~shoots one, it does nothing~ Um...crap! ~hides, is gunned down by 500 Listen/Spot BCs~

And everyone lived happily ever af...oh, wait. I forgot.

Cara Colds: DAMMIT! This dirt hurt me! Oh, merry men!

Several thousand noobs march from every exit (that's right, exit, not entrance) near Cara Colds.

Cara Colds: Gang & CS this dirt.

They start ganging said dirt.

Cara Colds: I sense the presence of something I have not felt since...

...Nuclear Launch Detected.

Cara Colds: OH GOD NO-

-=BOOM=-

Fin.

JYAP
07-08-2006, 02:19 PM
Winnar. Now go update Serverama.

Protoss119
07-08-2006, 02:53 PM
Will do. ~tries to pick up Starcraft spoof (another thread in this forum)~

Rrrrgh...too...heavy...~KRASH~

JYAP
07-18-2006, 01:39 PM
JYAP: Ok,EW sucks. Let's go liberate it.

Protoss: Yay!

Halfwing: Will there be brutal maulings of noobs that couldn't make a mage properly?

JYAP: Sure.

Halfwing: (has already left)

Upon arrival...

Noobs: By order of the new DM,you shall not pass!

(Pokemon battle scene transition)

Noob 1 sent out Cara Colds!(Cara appears,laughs,then readies into battle position)

Noob 2 sent out Drow Archer(I remembered his name!)(DA appears and flips off Protoss)

Noob 3 sent out Cheese Master!(Cheese Master kills a guy offscreen with a Phantasmal Killer)

JYAP: Pick a target.

Toss: DEATH TO DROW!

Halfwing: I call dibs on the nooblar who likes cheese.

JYAP: Fine.

JYAP sent out Rain Mirnimane!(Rain appears and twirls his scythe,then slams it down)

Protoss sent out Dredoc Anthorngleas!(Dredoc appears,spins an arrow,and nocks it)

Halfwing sent out Thox!(Thox appears floating in the air awesomely)

Drow Archer uses Insult!

DA: You worthless ranger! Hit me if you can!

Dredoc: You asked for it.

Dredoc Anthorngleas uses Called Shot!

Dredoc shoots an arrow into DA's family jewels. He then shoots the head.

Critical hit!

Enemy Drow Archer fainted!

Rain: KD this!

Rain uses Mega Critical!

(insert flashy scythe mauling here)

Enemy Cara Colds fainted!

Cheese Master uses Phantasmal Killer!

But,it didn't affect Thox!

Thox: Crappy nooblar,you are NOT worthy of even seeing me!

Thox uses 1337 Fireball!

Thox throws a fireball at Cheese Master.

(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM)

Cheese is a pile of ashes.

It's super effective!

Enemy Cheese Master fainted!

Victory!

Rain gained 720 exp!

Dredoc gained 690 exp! Level up!

Thox gained 666 exp!

JYAP: Move nooblars!

Noob: Nevar!

(BATTLE! AGAIN!)

(>@_@)> <(*_*<)--JYAP
(>@_@)> <(%_%<)--Protoss
(>@_@)> <(\_/<)--Halfwing

JYAP:
Attack
Magic<
Item
Flee

Thunder Blizzard<
Fire Toad
Scourge Flare

> (>@_@)>
> (>@_@)>
> (>@_@)>

Dredoc:
Attack<
Magic
Item
Flee

> (>@_@)>
(>@_@)>
(>@_@)>

Thox:
Attack
Magic
Item<
Flee

(item list obscured)

(>@_@)>
> (>@_@)>
> (>@_@)>

_-_^(*_*^)_-_ Blizzard lvl 16

>>>(>_<)<<<120
>>>(>_<)<<<119
>>>(>_<)<<<122

(X_X)--+=<(%_%<) 9 hit! 492 damage

(X_X)[]\
(X_X)[]<(^_^) Giant Shock Paddles of DOOOOOM!

Victory!

JYAP: Let's go inside.

Countless fights later...

JYAP: DM!

Trazzac: (turns around) Yes lamers?

Protoss: Where's Rary?

Trazzac: I threw him out the window. Now leave,lamers,or you too shall be thrown out the window!

Halfwing: So scary...

Trazzac: SILENCE! PREPARE TO FIGHT LAMERS!

JYAP: God,SHUT UP.

BATTLE!

(boss music plays)

(no little kirby dudes for you)

JYAP casts Flare lvl 12!

Trazzac takes 14 damage.

Protoss attacks with his Psi Blade!

Trazzac takes 9 damage.

Halfwing's menu:

Attack
Magic
Item
Flee
Pwn Nooblar<

Halfwing: I call upon IT...

Protoss: What's IT?

JYAP: Haven't a clue.

A giant shadow looms over Trazzac as he looks up in fear...

Voice: HALLEUJAH!

Trazzac is blown to smithereens by a ton of Holy Hand Grenades. (9700+ damage)

Trazzac: I'm not done yet!(morphs into another form like all final bosses do)

JYAP: You will be now.

Trazzac: With what-hey,where'd that lamer go?

Protoss is missing.

Trazzac: DIE LAMERS!

Protoss: HALT!

Protoss is in his Blue Arbiter.

JYAP: Cool! Recall my Aeonic please!

Protoss: Done and done.

An Awesome with 4 Clan ER PPCs is recalled,painted in a dark teal with black marks.

JYAP: Yay.(warps in)

The Awesome turns its barrels on Trazzac.

Trazzac: Could we talk this out?

JYAP: Not a chance lamer.

The Awesome fires. 78391 damage.

Trazzac: NOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Halfwing: Shut up.(throws a 1337 fireball at Trazzac)

JYAP: Woot! We win! Now,who wants to be DM?

Everyone in the party: I DO!

(BOOM!)

There you go,my biggest episode yet and my 1000th post. WOOT!

Protoss119
07-18-2006, 08:55 PM
I have one word to say, or rather, one abbreviation.

ROTLFMFAO!!!!!!!!!11111111one

Eaglehog: Don't celebrate too quickly, immature brats.

Protoss119: YOU!

Eaglehog: Learn some manners.

JYAP: Who the hell is this?

Protoss119: Eaglehog. He falsely accused me of being a jerk, banned me, and wouldn't let me whisper him to ask why.

Eaglehog: Correct.

Protoss119: Well, I don't want to fight, but-

-=BATTLE?!=-

Protoss119: I said I didn't want to fight. Oh well.

Protoss119 fires Rapid-Fire Phase Disruptor Cannon, but they all get deflected by Eaglehog's squelching shield.

Eaglehog: Ha. Do you have a brain at all?

JYAP: Easy to fix.

JYAP gets out of his ship and fires an 1337 Demon Launcher (Yes, more Star Fox Assault stuff) at the Squelch Shield, blowing it up.

Eaglehog: Hmph. Is that all, you immature fool?

Halfwing fires an 1337 fireball at Eaglehog's battlecraft game.

Eaglehog: NOOO! My battlecraft game! You'll pay for this. I'll see j00 dead!

O RLY Owl: O RLY?

The O RLY Owl flies in to peck out Eaglehog's eye.

Eaglehog: ARGH! Err...ROFLcopter!

The ROFLcopter blasts the O RLY Owl into smithereens.

JYAP: Mind recalling my Scout?

Protoss119: Not at all. ~does so~

JYAP gets in the scout and fires Photon Torpedoes at the ROFLcopter. It explodes and the assuming explosion destroys Eaglehog's face, revealing his insides. Convieniently, it has no brain.

JYAP: That explains a lot.

Protoss119: Indeed. ~sips Tea~

Halfwing: i hate tea i think

-=!?YROTCIV=-

Fin.

JYAP
07-19-2006, 10:26 AM
JYAP: My Scout's cooler than your Arbiter.

Protoss: LIES! Everyone knows blue>red!

JYAP: http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=33950

Protoss: I declare WAR!

JYAP: War it is!

The two set up bases that are colored red and blue and opposite to each other.

WAR!

Loristan: Erm...am I supposed to lead the charge?

Harner: No,you're obviously supposed to kamakazi into Protoss's base.

Loristan: Really? Ok then. YARRRRRRRRR!

Meanwhile...

Caradril: Oh look,some random guy charging forward.

Dredoc: I call dibs on him. (shoots)

Cue flashing back between arrow and Loristan repeatedly,cartoon style.

The arrow misses,hits a rock,bounces off the rock,off the base,and lodges itself into Monk's green observer that was hidden. This uncloaks him,unfortunately...

Monk: Crud.

Loristan,meanwhile,has reached the base and is attempting to knock down the drawbridge with a flying kick.

Lurker: I got it. (lowers drawbridge)

Loristan is crushed instantly as various zerg units pour out of the base. Back at JYAP's base...

Serind: Hey Rali.

Rali: Yes?

Serind: I'll kill more than you.

Rali: You're on.

Serind: (has shot 8 zerglings before Rali finished talking)

Rali: Why I oughta-

Serind: 19!

Rali: Fine! (casts Maxed Flamestrike)

Hydralisk: IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!

Ultralisk: WE ARE THE APOCALYPSE!

Apocalypse: No,I am. (warps in,kills a few zerg before having to get back to his usual fare)

Rali: 92. I win.

Protoss sends out some mutalisks. JYAP counters by sending wyvern riders from WC out.

Rider: I can see my house from here!

Muta: Me too. (blows it up)

Rider: NOOOOOOOOO! (throws a javelin at the muta,dropping him instantly)

Devourers suddenly emerge and start shooting up the riders in short order.

Rider: Cool! This purple stuff tastes like chicken!(dies from eating it,cause that stuff CAN'T be healthy)

The Devourers move on only to meet...

Faramir: NAZGUL!

No you idiot. They're Gargoyles,WC's finest anti-air. The Gargs rip apart the silly Devourers to shreds,then as they advance on the base...

Faramir: NAZGUL!

No,NINJAS! THOUSANDS OF THEM! They all attack the Gargs and rip them apart with their ninja skillz. As they advance to JYAP's base...

Faramir: NAZGUL!

Dammit Faramir,shut up! Drago is outside the gate.

Drago: I am a servant of the secret fire,wielder of the flame of Anor. You shall not pass!

And with that-

Faramir: NAZGUL!

What's with all the LotR references? No,Drago just missile storms the hell out of the ninjas,then makes a giant magic missile golem to attack. But-

Faramir: NAZGUL!

SHUT UP! No,after taking some losses to his forces,Protoss just casts Shield on everyone,making them immune. But then a ring falls into the base and then...

Faramir: NAZGUL!

Yes,NAZGUL come to attack. Caradril attempts to hold them off but gets thrown aside into a lava pit. Some other variants of Dredoc take down one or two of them,but they get mauled afterwards. But as they find the ring...

Witch-King: The ring! W00T! Alright,let's blow this popsicle stand!

Protoss: Not so fast!

Witch-King: Oh,and what are YOU gonna do? Huh punk-hey,where'd he go?

Protoss: (in Annihilator) I'll blow you up.

Witch-King: Uhh...no man can slay me?

Protoss: What about machinery? (shoots him with LBX Autocannons)

Witch-King: BLARGH!

Remaining Nazgul: RETREAT! KILL FARAMIR INSTEAD!

Faramir: NAZGUL! (dies,finally)

The Annihilator advances on JYAP's base,shooting anyone who gets in his way,which kills Raran and Sugnus. However,someone climbs to the highest point on the base,opens his mouth,and...

Protoss: OH GOD NOT HIM! ARRRRGH!

Yup. WSE sings,stunning Protoss long enough for JYAP to get into his Awesome. The two have a awesome fight(pun not intended) until a shadow looms over the battlefield...

JYAP: It's him...

A rumbling occurs,and before you know it,there are hundreds of characters charging towards both bases.

Halfwing(while on board his Yellow Corsair): You fools! Now I shall wipe you out entirely! Bwahahahahaha!

Al: Not on my watch.

Almuric appears,and floods the battlefield with all of HIS chars. The fight RAGES for days until...

JYAP: I'm bored. Let's go to EW and slay more noobs.

Protoss: I'm with you.

They leave while Halfwing and Al fight it out still. The Ninja has set up a concession stand after Rali and Drago built a passageway above the fighting between the bases. Serind and a Dredoc are making wagers and Harner is complaining about his lack of mention in this episode.

Monk: What do you mean,lack of mention? I was only mentioned once!

Right...I'll stop now.

Protoss119
07-20-2006, 01:26 PM
ROFL!!!

Does he have evidence on how Red is superior to Blue?

~Muta-rushes Pheonix~

JYAP
07-20-2006, 01:39 PM
http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=46258

You can make your own objections by erasing everything past the / in that url.

Protoss119
07-20-2006, 02:59 PM
Koolness.

Oh, ships are ready for kombat.

Mind the blue on the Scout.

http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=48707

15
17

EDIT: Redid the scout. Wings have gone from blue to smoke-ish gray. Enjoy!

JYAP
07-20-2006, 05:13 PM
http://objection.4camp.net/go.php?n=51572

Otherwise,cool.

Protoss119
07-21-2006, 09:46 AM
I made the objection on purpose. I knew it was blue. XD

I was thinking about purple, but it was too remniscent of pink with the program I'm using to do all this. I also thought yellow, but what would be the point of that?

I've now decided on Gray.

JYAP
07-22-2006, 08:22 PM
JYAP: Yawn. So bored. (walks 1 step)

(Pokemon challenge music)

Protoss: Let's fight.

JYAP: I'm not given a choice am I?

Protoss: Nope.

(scene transition)

Enemy Protoss wants to fight!

Go! Knuckles!

Enemy Protoss sent out Zealot!

Knuckles uses Punch!

Enemy Zealot uses War Cry!(EN TARO ADUN!)

Knuckles uses Dig!

He burrowed underground...

Enemy Zealot uses Psi-Blade!

But,it missed!

Knuckles uses Dig!

Critical hit!

Enemy Zealot uses Shield!

Enemy Zealot's Defense went up sharply!

Knuckles uses Spindash!

It's super effective!

Enemy Zealot fainted!

Knuckles gained 830 exp!

Knuckles leveled up!

JYAP won the fight with Protoss!

Protoss: How'd I only have one guy?

Recieved $0 from Protoss!

Protoss119
07-22-2006, 09:54 PM
Zealot learned new move: Mob!

Zealot uses Mob!

Zealot Mob: For Aiur! For Aiur! For Aiur!

The sheer audacity of it does 45 Psychic damage.

JYAP
08-01-2006, 04:31 PM
Protoss: Dammit,JYAP still can't find his NWN disk. Oh well. Time for some SC.

Cool warp transition here.

Protoss(as a digital avatar): (appears) All right. Now to-

???: LOL NERDS

Protoss: The heck? (walks over to see...)

JYAP: Shove it noob. Halfwing,please boot this loser.

Halfwing: Already done.

??? 2: Dude,you can't ban Kaotix. I'll just ask Yasha to unban him.

Yasha: Already done.

Kaotix: Hey Helixic,let's go pummel this nerdy noob!

Protoss: What happened?

Helixic: They were-

JYAP: Your opinion is null. (ICE-4!) Me and Halfwing were discussing who would win in a fight between 3 grunts and a TC VS 5 ghouls and a CL based off statistics,abilities,upgrades,and such.

Kaotix: Stupid nerds.

JYAP: I vote we gank them. What say you?

Halfwing: They're my own clan. I can't do a thing.

JYAP: You just banned the guy!

Halfwing: And Yasha can unban. Pointless.

Protoss: I'll help!

Helixic: BRING IT NOOBS!

(Pokemon scene transition here)

Enemy Botnoobs want to fight!

JYAP sent out Firelord!

Protoss sent out Dragoon!

Enemy Kaotix sent out Bandit!

Enemy Helixic sent out Treant!

Enemy Bandit used Axe Chop on Dragoon!

Dragoon used Suppressive Fire on Bandit and Treant!

Firelord used Incinerate on Treant!

It's super effective!

Enemy Treant fainted!

Firelord and Dragoon gained 230 exp!

Enemy Helixic sent out Templar!

Enemy Templar used Psi Slash on Dragoon!

Critical hit!

Dragoon fainted!

Use next "Pokemon"?

Yes<
No

Dragoon X
Lurker<
Hydralisk
Vulture
Dredoc
Zergling

Go! Lurker!

Enemy Bandit used Ambush on Firelord!

Firelord's defense went down!

Firelord used Soul Burn on Bandit!

Enemy Bandit can't attack!

Lurker used Burrow!

Lurker is concealed!

Enemy Templar used Psi Storm on Firelord and Lurker!

Critical hit!

Enemy Bandit used Axe Chop on Firelord!

Firelord fainted!

Use next Pokemon?

Yes<
No

Firelord X
Grunt<
Raider
Shaman
Lich
Blood Mage

Go! Grunt!

Grunt used Tackle on Bandit!

Enemy Bandit fainted!

Enemy Kaotix sent out Ghoul!

Enemy Ghoul used Ghoul Frenzy!

Enemy Ghoul's Speed went up sharply!

Lurker used Lurker Spines!

Enemy Templar fainted!

Enemy Helixic sent out Wisp!(Helixic: WTF?)(Halfwing: (whistles innocently)

Grunt used Laugh At Silly Wisp!

It's super effective!

Critical hit!

Enemy Wisp fainted!

Helixic: Stupid nerds...having better stuff than us...

Enemy Ghoul used Scratch on Grunt!

It's not very effective...

Grunt used Battle Cry!

Grunt: LOK'TAR OGAR!

Enemy Ghoul's defense went down sharply!

Enemy Ghoul's attack went down sharply!

Lurker used Lurker Spines!

Enemy Ghoul used Cannabilize!

It recovered HP!

Enemy Grunt used Axe Swing!

It hit the weak spot!

Enemy Ghoul fainted!

Kaotix: I still have one more!

Enemy Kaotix sent out Demon Hunter!

JYAP: OH GOD NO

Enemy Demon Hunter used Play Goth Music!

It's super effective!

It hit the weak spot!

Grunt fainted!

Lurker fainted!

Use-(skip'd)

Go! Lich!

Go! Zergling!

Lich used Frost Nova!

Enemy Demon Hunter's speed went down!

Zergling charges up...

Kaotix: Ooooh,I'm so scared. What's a zergling gonna do?

Enemy Demon Hunter used Play Goth Music!

It's super effective!

Zergling endured through with Focus Band!

Lich used Warning!

Lich: You're cooked now.

Kaotix: How so?

Zergling uses WTF ZERG RUSH OH NOES!

It's super-ultra-mega-hyper-omni effective!

It hit the weak spot!

Enemy Demon Hunter got Zerg Rush'd!

Victory!

Firelord gained 300 exp!

Dragoon gained 300 exp!

Grunt gained 340 exp! Level up!

Lurker gained 340 exp!

Lich gained 450 exp!

Zergling gained 450 exp! Level up!

Kaotix: ...shoot...

Back to the normal channel.

Kaotix: HACKERS!

Helixic: WE'RE UNBEATABLE!

JYAP: Sure you are...

Kaotix: BAN THESE BITCHES YASHA!

Yasha: Ok-

Halfwing: Uh,no. Those are my friends.

Yasha: So? Those two are my friends too.

Halfwing: But they're not noobs with bots that call me and others nerdy.

Yasha: So?

Halfwing: Would you rather I destroy the entire clan?

Yasha: ...fine...

Helixic: YOU'RE NOT BANNING THEM? WHAT IS THIS SHIT?!?

Kaotix: We're taking things into our own hands! This clan is ours now! And there's nothing you can do about it!

(BATTLE!)

Kaotix: Wait,we have no pokemon.

(VICTORY)

JYAP: Ok,so how do you propose to take over the clan?

Kaotix: Well...we haven't gotten to that part yet-

Halfwing: How bout you shut up and BEGONE!(BANNAGE!)

Protoss: Now what?

JYAP: Hungry hungry felhounds?

Halfwing: Sure.

JYAP has joined the game.
WNxHalfwingseen has joined the game.
Protoss119 has joined the game.
xbladezx has joined the game.

JYAP: KILL BILLY!

xbladezx has left the game...in pieces...

Protoss119
08-01-2006, 04:49 PM
That'll teach them to make my poor Lurker faint.

Kaotix: ...Are they gone?!

Helixic: I dunno...

The shadows disappear and it turns out the retarded duo is in a game of Stacked Cannon D.

Protoss119: Welcome to my little world, biotches.

Kaotix: You're one of the guys who assisted the nerds!

Kaotix gets anvil'd.

Helixic: Ha ha! What a funny way to die- ~anvil'd~

Protoss119 ressurects them.

Protoss119: Silence, fool mortals. Here, I am god.

Kaotix: Tell me what's going on.

Protoss119: I told you, you're in my little world where I am god. I control everything within this world.

Eaglehog: It's true...

Helixic: WTF are you doing here?

Eaglehog: I defied his power and he blew me up.

Protoss119: You have met the same fate, duo. Shortly before you were banned, I blew your heads off. As usual, there was no brain.

Helixic: LIAR! ~anvil'd, ressurected~

Protoss119: Oh really? Now, all 3 of you are going to play a game with me. This game is called...STACKED CANNON D! ~Dun dun dunnnnnn plays in the background~

Eaglehog: That theme has no brain. ~anvil'd, ressurected~

Protoss119: C'mon, guys, I'm running out of anvil's here. And now the game begins...muahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The trio's legs start moving beyond their control.

Kaotix: WTF's happening!?

Helixic: I dunno! We're moving!

Kaotix: But I don't wanna move!

Eaglehog: Yeah! Moving has to learn some manners!

Protoss119: ~smirks~ Ah, but you HAVE to move. You have to make it to the other side...alive.

Kaotix: That sounds easy...I mean, there's no one trying to kill us!

A group of cloaked stacked Photon Cannons open fire on the trio, obliterating them.

Protoss119: Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Game: Round 2: Uber Infested Terrans

Protoss119 watches as his photon cannons are razed to the ground by Kamikaze Zerg.

Protoss119: OH FU- ~exploded~

JYAP
08-02-2006, 06:28 AM
Shhh...I registered on their forum now. If they see all these posts even though I left no trace of evidence where I came from,I'm dead.

Protoss119
08-02-2006, 10:57 AM
Unlikely...since you DID leave no trace of where you came from, right?

JYAP
08-02-2006, 12:46 PM
None whatsoever.

I got 2 guys to register off of WC. They look interested in NWN. ^_^

Protoss119
08-02-2006, 05:44 PM
Nice. It'll be a treat for us.

JYAP
09-07-2006, 06:52 PM
In the future...Rain will lose out on crit range.

In the future...Hail will become more kickass.

In the future...halflings will run rampant with two-handers.

In the future...Heat may be obsoleted.

In the future...I WILL REIGN!

Rain: Dammit Snow!(kicks him in between the legs)

In the very near future...I need a medic...ow...

Protoss119
09-07-2006, 06:55 PM
Holy crap! Rain will lose crit range! H4X- ~scythe'd~